My last post: Miles GA

My last post: http://www.felinediabetes.com/FDMB/...7-8-127-pmps-144-2pm-201.157839/#post-1677570

Miles "Trouble" Kraft
June 9, 2003 - June 20, 2016

My heart is broken in a million pieces. I found Miles on the bathroom floor this morning. There was a huge pile of poop in the main room and yellow bile in the bathroom. Miles was lying on his side between the toilet and the wall - a place all my cats have gone when they are scared or ill - and his eyes and mouth were open. I screamed and screamed.

I felt him - he was still warm - and I ran upstairs for my cell phone, willing my fingers to stop shaking as I phoned the vet's office. Then I yelled for my daughter to help me and she started shrieking too as I carried Miles to my car. The rush hour morning traffic seemed worse than usual. I screamed at those stupid cars to move, move! Finally I was at the animal hospital, wailing my head off. One tech took Miles and called for a doctor. The other sent me to a waiting room.

Only a couple of minutes later my doctor came in and told me that Miles was dead. She said it could have been a blood clot, or a heart problem (he did have an enlarged left atrium, we'd learned that late last year). It's unlikely diabetes played any role in his death, although he did have an awful number (305) last night. I had arranged with my daughter to have her curve him today to find out what was going on. In reality, that was the only indication we had that anything was wrong. She asked if we wanted an autopsy. I said no. What if there was something we could have done to prevent it? I don't want to know that. It won't give me closure.

I've never had a cat die at home before. They all, with the exception of one, have been euthanized after full, long lives. Perhaps it was silly of me to rush Miles to the hospital when in fact he was dead. I guess I needed someone to tell me the awful truth. I called my husband (who also loved Miles tremendously) and he picked up my daughter. We all stood around Miles and cried over him. His fur was still soft. I thought I heard him purr when I kissed him my final goodbye.

I can't believe how much I miss him. I just can't stop crying. My opinion is that it wasn't his time to go, but it wasn't up to me. I can only hope his brothers, Dmitri and Nikolai, were first in line to greet him at the Bridge.

Thanks to all of you who followed Miles' story.
Feline diabetes IS worth fighting. Never give up!

 

My heart breaks for you
I'm so very sorry to hear this sad news.

 

I just lost my Squeaker in January and still feel the loss. My heart goes out to you.

 

Oh Marnie.....It's so sad to hear the news of Miles' passing.

Don't blame yourself in the least little bit for taking him into the vet!! If you hadn't, you'd still be wondering if it would have helped to take him in. We do what our heart tells us to do!

Fly free sweet Miles, and land softly! There are many at the bridge to welcome you and keep you company until the ones you love most come to be with you forever

 

I am so very sorry! That had to have been awful! I would have done the same as you and your daughter did! I hope that eventually your heart will smile again.

 

I am so sorry....................................................................

 

I'm so sorry. Sending prayers. Fly free Miles.

 

I'm so sorry Marnie my deepest sympathy to you and your family. I would like to think that you did hear Miles purr when you said your goodbyes, his was of letting you know that it's ok

RIP gorgeous Miles your beans will miss you so much.

 

I'm so very sorry.
Years ago I found my cat, Timmy, dead in my den. He had been fine the night before. I rushed his little body to the vet, I knew he was gone, but I had to be sure.
The vet told me he no doubt had thrown a blood clot or had a heart attack.
It happens in cats just as it happens in people.
The shock of finding them dead is so tremendous, and very difficult to get over.
My heart goes out to you.

 

I'm so very sorry for your loss.

 

I am so sorry for your loss.

 

Words can not express how very sorry I am for your loss and for you to experience in this way. Holding you in prayer for comfort. Peace.

 

I am so very sorry for your loss - my thoughts are with you and your family.

 

Please be good to yourself. Miles knew how much he was loved. I am so sorry you went through this, but you did nothing wrong. That's hard to accept but keep the love you HAVE for Miles close to your heart. No one can take that from you... Let the love comfort you. It's not easy... Focus on the love.

 

{{{{Marniie}}}}

My heart breaks for you and your family. That was a terrible way to lose him. I hope you find peace knowing his is free of all suffering now.

Fly free, Mile, and land softly.

 

I am so sorry. Yes, FD is worth fighting and you and Miles gave it the good fight. Such a lucky kitty to have such caring beans.
Liz

 

Dear Marnie, our hearts go out to you and your family. Miles was a wonderful kitty. It was simply his time to say farewell. And I'm sure that Serryn is correct that you did hear his gentle purr. His brothers Dmitri and Nikolai and all of our GAs are welcoming him tonight to the Bridge, where they will be celebrating the Full Strawberry Moon at the same time that all of Miles' L& LL pals are celebrating here on Earth.
Fly free, dear Miles. You are much loved.

In deepest sympathy,
Ella & Edward, Rusty, and Stu (GA)

 

So may tears. SO MUCH LOVE. I am sorry.

 

I am so very sorry it was Miles' time to cross. He will live on in your heart until you are together again. Our deepest sympathies to all of you

 

I'm so very sorry for your loss. My sincerest condolences to you and your family. Fly free sweet Miles

 

Oh, honey, I am so, so, so sorry. Sending healing vines to you and your family.

 

we all share your grief.
Miles is flying free now.

 

So sorry. Be free sweet baby.

 

((((Marnie))))
The love is strong....
The loss is so hard.....
Prayers for you and your family's grieving heart
Fly Free Miles.....

 

I am so very sorry.... What a beautiful boy....our hearts are with you

 

I am so sorry it was Miles' time to cross. You did nothing wrong, I would have done the same thing. Fly free, Miles, and land softly.

 

I'm very sorry to read this. That must have been awfully traumatic for you. And your daughter, too. I hope you can find some peace about it soon.

RIP, little Miles.

 

(((Marnie and family)))) I am so very, very sorry that your sweet Miles has crossed the Rainbow Bridge and you had to find him that way. It is so hard when it is their time and we have no warning. Always know you did everything for him and he knows your love for him is forever.

Fly free, Miles to join your brothers.

 

I'm so very sorry for your loss

 

I am so sorry for your loss. I know how it feels, because I too had the same experience, only it was too late.

I know Miles knows how much you love him and is so proud to have a mommy like you to take such excellent care of him his whole life. I know he is playing with his brothers and they are showing him what a great place The Bridge is.

Big Hugs to you. I know your pain.

 

Requiem aeternum, Miles.
{{hugs}}

 

Marnie, I am do very sorry. I too know how it feels, it has also happened to me. Incredibly sad it is. Many hugs to you. Miles knows how much you cared, and loved him. He will be with you always. Forever in our hearts Miles. Fly free little one. Land softly at the Bridge.

 

{{{{Marnie and family}}}} I am so sorry it was Miles time to cross. The sudden ones are so incredibly hard to bear. Take comfort that you did a great job caring for him and gave him so many more quality years. May he send you a sign soon to say he made it safely to the Bridge.

 

I am so sorry that Miles has gone to the rainbow bridge. It must have been so hard having it all happen the way it did

 

My deepest condolences to you and your family, I am so sorry it was Miles time to cross. Sending prayers for peace and comfort knowing he was much loved.

Fly free sweet Miles and land softly.

 

((((Marnie))))

I am so terribly sorry. I don't know whether it's easier to be mentally prepared for a kitty to cross the Bridge or if it is unexpected. No matter, the loss is painful

Fly free Miles and land softly.

 

I am so sorry for your loss. This is so hard! Land softly at the bridge Miles

 

My heart mourns with you. So sorry for your loss, I believe one day you will meet again.

 

I am so, so sorry for your loss. Its so terribly painful to lose a beloved furry family member. Hold your treasured memories of Miles in your heart, and he will live there forever with you.

Fly free, sweet Miles

 

I am so very sorry for your loss

 

What a lucky cat to have experienced so much love. May the memories of his beautiful 13-year life bring you peace in the coming days. Fly Free Miles.

 

I'm so sorry. I did the same thing when I found Bo after he was attacked. I couldn't wrap my head around the fact he was gone when just a few minutes ago he wasn't. I wanted to head to the ER... I needed someone to tell me, because I just couldn't believe it. I know how traumatic this was, and my heart breaks for you. Miles was very lucky to know your love and care. Wishing you and your family comfort in knowing that he is now resting in your hearts. Peace to you. Fly free dear Miles.

 

Thank you so much to everyone here. Most of my acquaintances (even those who love cats) don't understand what Miles meant to me, but I knew all of you would understand. I so needed and appreciate your affirmation of the bond that we share with our diabetics. My life revolved around Miles and now it feels so empty and unstructured. Needles and test strips have been replaced by tears. His spreadsheet is complete, nothing more to add now.

Is it better/easier to lose them through planned euthanasia, when there's a chance to say goodbye, but potentially also prolonged suffering? I know now that it's harder for me to lose a cat suddenly, but maybe it was better for him. I know he suffered - that much was painfully obvious when I came upon him - but it is over. He is no longer hurting, even though I am. When I ache to feel his warm fur on my lap and his cheek against mine, I must remind myself: he is finished suffering. He will not suffer again.

Run free, sweet babycat, but remember this: when we are reunited, you and I, I will never let go. Never.

 

It's been 2 1/2 weeks. We brought Miles' ashes home today. Finally, he is back with us. Maybe, when I close my eyes, I will see this little urn instead of his body the way I found it. I hope the happy memories will overcome those visions soon.

I gained a little comfort from a beautiful pendant I ordered from http://stores.ebay.com/Dichroic-Art-Jewelry-by-Dave/_i.html?_fsub=-999&_sc=1&_sop=1
I found the link on this site from the pet loss link in the Grief Support section.
I wanted to post a picture, because it's simply perfect and exactly what I hoped for. It really is Miles looking at the Rainbow Bridge.
He (Dave) will do special requests, including working from a picture of your cat.



to @anna and bailey.uk england and anyone else who's suffering a loss like mine, let's hope the pain eases soon.

 

That is an absolutely beautiful pendant!!!!

Sending special prayers and wishes that this pendant gives you the peace and strength to help you as you go through this sad time.

 

I'm so sorry, Marnie. I was gone and missed your post. I know how much you love Miles and will miss him.

Fly free little one, and land softly.

Peace to you and your family, Marnie.

 

I have been away from the board and missed hearing of Miles passing, I am SO sorry for your loss. I know you have fought so very hard and loved him so very much. I am sorry that it was his time and that it was so traumatic for you. The pendent you found is beautiful, just like that boy of yours. Look through all the pictures you have of him to bring fresh all the great, fun memories you have of him to help ease the pain.
Land softly at the bridge Miles.

 

Marnie, I am glad Miles is home with you, where he belongs. I know how hard it must be to get that image out of your mind, but I do think in time it will be replaced by the happier images of him that you have in your heart - I know there are many.

Thank you for sharing that beautiful pendant. I may just have to order one myself. I hope yours gives you comfort.

 

What a wonderful idea on the pendant. I hope it brings you some peace. Sending prayers.

 

It must be so comforting to know that he's back home. I hope that pendant is a warm reminder that he's in a beautiful place, and I know that, with time, that last tragic image will fade and be replaced by the lifetime of wonderful memories that the two of you shared together. Wishing you peace...

 

Hoping the beautiful pendant brings you peace and warm memories of your sweet boy