super dry coat, something worse than knots, bath time

It's humid in the house but AC is always on. This doesn't happen with the other cats, the hound or me.
Lewis is a short hair who loves being wiped down with damp paper towels and then getting a nice brush. Beyond that you'll lose a finger if you do any more and he's getting too fat to groom himself. On his back near his butt he always gets what looks like someone has spiked his hair with gel. It's not a cyst or a wart and it doesn't hurt to press down on it but if you pick at it or try to snip the hair he goes ballistic. That's a question for a vet unless someone else has had a mystery like this.
Today he managed to get poo on him and now... LEWIS NEEDS A BATH.
He stinks and this needs to happen. How am I going to do this quickly? He is very forgiving and I have something like welding gloves. Shampoo? Soap?

 

Before the bath, try some vegetable oil. I mean, I don't know what it is, but it helps with gum and other things stuck in hair. It might free things up, and worst case scenario, you're already planning a bath so you can wash the oil off anyway.

 

That sounds like 'stud tail' or 'tail gland hyperplasia'. If you google it, you'll find lots of information on how to handle it...

 

Stud tail describes everything perfectly. I've just never seen it before.
Lewis has very sharp teeth and claws, my lucky day.

 

I had to laugh at one article tho' - it started off saying it was a 'rare' condition. Yeah right...NOT! It's just something that most people take care of at home without even a vet visit so no record of it.

 

You mean I can get my glands squeezed at home?
I've been at the vet's when a dog's poo glands get squeezed. That is a special kind of stinky.

 

I have no ideas for bathing a wacky cat! But, I need to share a few funny incidents. Consider it a laugh for today.

My Zoe had 2 baths when she was young, she literally screamed so loud I thought someone would call the police. It took 2 people with heavy duty gardening gloves and thick fluffy robes buttoned up our necks. Have since used cat bath wipes just to freshen her up.

I had one dog once that had his anal glands squeezed, for an unknown reason, at the Vets office. I really wish we had Hazmat suits and super duper respirators to wear on the car ride home.

And lastly, funniest or worst depending on how you look at it. I adopted Sam from the Humane Society. Beautiful, long haired, adult male. He was recently neutered and had lumps of dried blood on his bottom. I asked a staff person if they could trim the bloody hair as I was afraid to hurt him. They took him away and returned him promptly. It was not lumps of dried blood. It was lumps of, how shall I put this...….they were his former , umm, nuts. Oops.

 

OMG Michele, I am laughing so hard. Thank you for sharing though!

 

How did the bath go, Dickson? The cat's bath, I mean. Are you in shreds? Hope not.
I have to say that I was so tempted to address the other issue of your care at home, but I would probably get in trouble. So, for now, I am silent.

 

I may be too late to help with this, but some tips on a cat bath:

Do NOT run the water while the cat is in the room. Run very very warm water into tubs first. Then scoop the water gently onto the cat. Not running water as the noise alone stresses them out, but having running water coming at them is just too much for most cats.

Have a towel down in the sink or bathtub (or large rubbermaid tub - whatever you decide will work best). Set the cat onto the towel. If they start to feel like they're sliding they'll panic and climb you to get away.

Keep the water away from their head/face until the very last thing (or skip their head altogether if you can).

As for soap, baby shampoo or Dawn dish soap (used in wildlife rescues) are good options if plain water isn't enough.

Given what you're describing, you may be able to dampen with a wet paper towel, suds up with the soap, and then introduce the pouring water as the final thing.

If you have a cat like my civvie that really is terrified of water, there isn't a "good" way to do it. You just have to do the best you can. Stay safe and please let us know that you've survived!

 

Personally I like to have my nuts dipped in melted chocolate. The roasting on an open fire thing has never worked for me.
Do nuts ever expire? I have some very old nuts I like to take out every day but my wife wants me to put them away. I encourage you to enjoy your nuts on a daily basis but they are NOT meant to be played with.
Please everyone, be careful with your nuts.
Why do some people think dogs are smarter than cats?