1/4 Latte Amps- 258 and Deep thoughts (long)

+6- 284
Guess that says it all! Or, maybe not...

Its been an interesting 2 weeks....fragmented to no sleep, data gathering, increasing/ decreasing doses, seeing highs and lows we have never seen before, surfing nearly every level, wacked out ps numbers, etc. In the end we have come nearly full circle, landing pretty much on the same dose as we started, bordering on both a decrease and increase at the same time.

Her vet said something to me the other day about how a cat with higher numbers and risk of infection a few times/year is a lot better than a cat not eating, vomiting, and losing weight. . Last night as I was about to go to bed, after offering some wet food and refusing, she went and stood by her kibble bowl. Apparently waiting for me to throw a treat in there. I ignored her because I didnt want to encourage the kibble, especially with such high numbers last night. Then what the vet said to me rang loudly in my ears. How many nights in the last few years have I sat in bed with the light out waiting sometimes up to an hour to hear her munch on the kibble? And then when she wouldnt I would have to get up and prepare food/syringes at 1am? How many nights did I cry myself to sleep wishing she would eat and knowing she would vomit in the a.m. due to no food in her tummy? How many mornings did I wake, fearful of what the day would bring? Too many! So, if she is ASKING to eat, even something that is going to deter any progress with her BG's, then that is a HUGE improvement in quality of life for her.

I have already come to terms that insulin will be part of the rest of her life. Today, its time to come to terms with the fact that we may not even see good BG's for the rest of her life. Sure, there will be crazy days going from extremes like she pulled over the weekend, or during the full moon. Generally speaking I get a sense that this is the best we are going to get. BUT...she is eating, not vomiting (so much), and looking a little tubby :mrgreen: Despite all her issues and seeming to be showing her age a bit more, she appears to be very happy most of the time. In the entire scheme of things, I dont know how I could ask for much more.

I almost wonder if these two weeks was more about teaching me acceptance rather than getting Latte's BGs in a better spot. Acceptance that there are trade offs in all the choices we make, and nothing can be perfect.

She is a happy cat this a.m., eating and drinking a lot - possibly signaling a drop, possibly signaling a cat that just feels darn good! ;-) Whatever the reason, its good to see her happy.

yesterday:
viewtopic.php?f=9&t=999

 

That about sums it up. ((Carolyn)) You're a good mummy - we've all seen that.
cat_pet_icon

 

(((Carolyn)))
I have come to the same conclusions with Bear and kibble. He can't maintain his weight when he doesn't eat it as a supplement to his canned food. He will always be on insulin, and I will adjust the insulin as necessary to compensate for whatever food and medications he has to be on for his quality of life. It's not what I want, but it's what I have to do. I don't think it's wrong for you to make informed decisions as to what is best for Latte, as you have been doing all along.

 

And you summed it up so well, Carolyn. Many times we are consumed with getting the numbers down to those blues and greens that we forget about the whole cat. Sometimes we just have to come to terms that we are doing the best we can and that our kitties may not ever get regulated or OTJ. We can provide them with the essentials....food, water, love, insulin....whatever they need to make their quality of life the best that it can be.
Your thoughts are very healthy thoughts. It is best not to obsess, but to pull back and see the grander scheme of things. You are a good mama!

 

"Acceptance that there are trade offs in all the choices we make, and nothing can be perfect.
She is a happy cat this a.m., eating and drinking a lot - possibly signaling a drop, possibly signaling a cat that just feels darn good! ;-) Whatever the reason, its good to see her happy."

((Carolyn)) You summed it up beautifully!! Nothing can be perfect, no! At least, perfection is not a permanent state of affairs anyway. Some days are better than others...but accepting what IS without spinning our wheels over things we can't change is what it's all about I guess...
That brings to mind the Serenity Prayer..."to change the things we can change". If we try to do our very best, some days we will see that it has worked. Other days we should just stop and count our blessings in a way...count the things we are happy about...which you have done this morning...heavy thoughts for a Monday morning!!. Well said...and it is so good that Latte seems happy..that is such a GOOD thing...you are such a GOOD Mama...

Hope the rest of your day is joyful!

 

(((((((((((hugs))))))))))). You're doing right by Latte, of that I'm sure. The rest will fall into place, somehow. I follow your posts because I can learn a lot from them, and I can't say more than you're doing right by Latte, and that's what matters. The whole cat is what matters; diabetes is part, yes, but not all...kwim?

Best-
Michele

 

One day at a time Carolyn. Can't change yesterday and don't worry about tomorrow. You are doing fine and so is Latte. That is the important part.

 

Wow. I was going to quote Carolyn first, then I read the next post and wanted to quote from Ronnie, then Linda wrote a beautiful post, then Deb was right on point, then I was getting teary reading Pat's, and had to get a tissue by the time I got to Michele's post and was sniffing and sighing while reading Barbara's post.

What a lovely thread! The comments are incredibly wise and thoughtful and encouraging. What a wonderful group of people and obviously everyone knows what is most important. Now I'm going to go wash my face.... it's all salty from happy tears.

Kiss Latte for me, Carolyn!

 

Re: 1/4 Latte Amps- 258 , +2.5- 97, +4- 83

I did! Right after I poked her! :lol:

Apparently she wants one last day of excessive poking before I go back to work.
I told her she best stay afloat if she wants me to be able to run out and get her more food for the week. Suppose I should have done that yesterday when she was surfin' blue.

Thank you for all the kind words. Really, we are good! I feel a great sense of relief today with our process, however it may go (of course that could change by the hour, LOL). This has been such an exhausting, but rewarding few weeks. Now I get to go back to the schools I work in and report what I did on my winter break! :roll:

 

She's alive; she's happy; and she's asking to eat, by herself. These are all precious gifts, you know ;-)

 

Re: 1/4 Latte Amps- 258 +5-73, +6-82 (Vet/labwork update)

Where ever she ends up, she is actually pretty good at surfing.

Vet Update:

*sigh*
So, this is not TERRIBLE news, but we are showing a trend of decreasing kidney functioning. I dont have the labwork in front of me, just what I scribbled down on the phone. Again, most people (including myself) would be thrilled with these numbers, all things considered. Its the trend after staying stable for so long that is a tad disconcerning. Many of these numbers are higher than she has seen in about 2yrs. Even the vet (mr positive) said something to that effect.

• Creatinine May-2.1, Oct. 2.3, Jan, 2.4
  Bun May 34, Jan 64
  Phos May (dont remember but I believe in low 4's), Jan - 5.4
  *Bicarb 12
  *Anion Gap 29
  *This shows potential metabolic acidosis

The symptoms she is showing with the choking/gagging could be laryngeal paralysis, which after reading about over the weekend is pretty disturbing to me. There is a post on health about it.

Love her while I got her!!!!! cat_pet_icon

 

Carolyn, I believe where there's life, there's hope--I have seen so many cats turn around in the almost 2 yrs I'm here!!..You are a devoted momma bean who loves her cat, sometimes more than yourself--We are all that way..Committed!
With commitment ,comes an understanding that acceptance is a great part of that...None of us can be with our cats 24/7--we work, we Must live, we must socialize..There was a time I didnt go out at all--Just stayed with her, watching her every move--I dont do that as much anymore.
Do I worry?? Yes...Do I think about her?YES--But I know for her to live well, I must also live well & do people things, have friends, and enjoy the days...Because we are all here as long as we are allowed to be..We must make the best of every day!

We HAVE them, yes, we have them & love them & they are a gift--Live in the present..It's the way to survive.
And just LOVE her..and You! You are doing great!! So is Latte!! Look at all the cats in Pink!! HUGS~!!!

 

Carolyn, you are doing right by her...that's what matters.

:YMHUG: for you

cat_pet_icon for Latte

 

Nice that she woke you for a snackus, I can remember many times you've yearned for her to eat. And it sounds like she has fewer and fewer bouts of feeling crappy. She sounds great. You've done an amazing job trying to balance not only what medications she gets, but when she gets them, in conjunction with trying to balance them with insulin and food. Every Cat is Different and you know your extremely well.

(( Carolyn )), hang in there, you're doing great. I hope you can get Latte's pic added as an avatar, I miss her prettiness.

 

Really, I see those numbers and still think she is staying pretty darn stable. The creatinine is basically in the same range, and BUN may be elevated from her eating more wet and less kibble, and the phos....well, it goes up and down as you know and as long as it's below 6 then you just keep plugging along.

Every day is a celebration. Having a happy kitty....well, that is far more important than numbers on a spreadsheet or lab values. It's easy to let yourself get all caught up in that, but really, what snuggles up with you at night and rubs up against your leg and plays with feathers is Latte herself, and not a creatinine value of 2.4 or a BG of 80.

You are a wonderful mommabean - dedicated, loving, and accepting of what comes your way. Latte is a very lucky little girl.

((((Latte))))((((Carolyn))))

 

:lol: That made me laugh!

As i said, its not terrible news, but an obvious trend in the wrong direction from where she has been for the last 2yrs. The most concerning to me is the metabolic acidosis, which the vet seems to think 'is to be expected'. Ha! He knows better than to believe I would just accept that answer. ;-) Ive got a call into her kidney specialist and hope he will get back to me. Usually if I go to the regular vet with why I think something is a problem , how it is affecting Latte, and what I can do to treat it, then ask for his blessings...he will be open to it. I do suspect that this back leg weakness is NOT from the diabetes, NOT from the arthritis, but yes...the MA. She has not had the metabolic acidosis since the ARF. It can be treated, but if its not things will deteriorate quickly. It never even dawned on me that this could be a possibility. :smackyourselfintheheadsmilie:

She's on her way up btw....135 +9

 

Accepting that Latte has a challenging combination of medical issues is good. What sounds even better, is that to a large extent you've found that you can't control her FD -- Latte is leading in this and all of her other dances. We have the privilege of being the partner our cats chose to accompany them in the dance. It's our job to move with the rhythm they select, otherwise, we fall all over our own feet. You're standing tall.

Today, both your condo and Cassandra's are a reminder of all of the caring and devotion involved with all of our very special kitties.

 

Re: 1/4 Latte Amps- 258 , PMPS-213

Crap! (sorry)
Forgot to post pmps. Had to run out the door right after to teach a class.

I like this test 15min early, spoon feed babyfood, and shoot when I have to run out the door immediately after I shoot. She never seems to want to eat at that time, which is fine if Im home and can monitor. Makes me nervous if I will be gone. And you know what? Who cares if its babyfood :lol: She likes it!!!!!

Gosh, I dont know what happened to the day. I got really wrapped up in some other stuff and her recent labs. Im super concerned about the metabolic acidosis and figuring out how I can get a test to cofirm and treat if need be.

What the heck makes this cat tick so long?!!?! :roll:
Bless her heart....and she is so darn soft again tonight!

 

((Carolyn)) Yours was a wonderful condo with all the deep and loving thoughts shared here...
very, very special things were written by you and TO you. I second every wonderful post to you...everyone has it right! :YMHUG:
You are doing such a wonderful job and Latte loves you...

 

Re: 1/4 Latte Amps- 258 , PMPS-213, +5.5-238, +6.5=143

Leave it to Latte to pull a stunt like this right before I have to go back to work.
Hopefully this is her pred drop and will surf on thru to a.m. and not throw one of those funky amps.

Night everyone! Again, thanks for the kind words. Im kind of feeling like you have become a bit of our family.

 

I think we certainly are family here. :YMHUG:

Latte will be fine - it's late in the cycle and she's becoming a very good surfer!