11/23 hello again and thank you

Greetings from Uncle's mom.
It's been a very long time (over 2 months) since Uncle died and I've been waiting to feel graced by some kind of peaceful sense of balance between grieving and getting on with my life.

Getting back on the board has been shockingly difficult for me. I really wanted to be able to jump back in without a lump in my throat, ache in my heart and/or tears in my eyes. Oh well...I am just going to go for it, come what may.
I seem to have been jettisoned by grief into some outer atmosphere beyond the gravitational pull of all the love and support in L&L Land. Assumed it would be a short term solo space walk but somehow the tether broke and I floated off, drifting further and further away, looking in from the outside and causing more heartache.
Some guilt as well. I haven't been there for anybody else whether it's celebrating OTJ days, witnessing someone else's heartache or being there for anyone unsure about what to do next.

Thank you again to everyone who has been there for Uncle and me. I remain truly grateful

 

{{{{Barbara}}}} We get it, it knocks the stuffing out of you to lose one that we have been cating so much for. Good to hear from you. No guilt, we take the time we need.

 

I think we all get it. No need to feel any guilt. Glad you lept back in. Take it as slow as you need to.

 

{{{Barbara}}}

Everyone grieves in their own way. There is no right or wrong way to handle it. We missed you, but we all understand. Glad you've found your way back.

 

((((Barbara))))

If anybody understands, you know it's the people here. Take as much time as you need and we'll still be here ready to lean on when you need us.

 

You don't need to feel guilty. We completely understand. As the others have said, take all the time you need. Sending prayers.

 

Wrapping you in virtual love and peace and comfort. There is no need to apologize as we all understand how all consuming the grief process is. Sometimes, I have to take a break from all the loss on the boards and it always astounds me those here that were able to come back on again. We all grieve differently. Don't beat yourself up with guilt that serves no purpose. Be where you are in the process and know that we are here when you need us.

 

(((Barbara))) We understand what you are going through.

 

We know. One thing about this place (my virtual home) is that it will always have their door, and hearts open anytime you need them.

 

(((Barbara))). What I have learned from losing my Gracie is that grief’s “stages” hit us arbitrarily and they roll back around unexpectedly. “They” always say there is a sequence to grief and once you make it through those five stages, you’re home free. So not true. It’s been almost two years since I lost Gracie and there are days that one of those stages punches me hard in the gut and I can barely breathe. My heart aches so much from missing her.

What I’ve learned is that you have to accept that grief is now always a part of your life, that you never know when it’s going to bowl you over, and that we have to honor our grief and let it have its way and then hope the best we can come away with is peace.

I hope you will let go of the guilt. Uncle knows how very much you love him and you did the best anyone could to care for him. Be gentle with yourself. Take the time you need. Don’t worry about anyone here. You always have a home here and a support network, but it is hard to come back and think “I should still be doing this with my baby”. It’s tough and it’s ok to cut yourself slack. We all understand.

I wish you peace of heart and peace of mind.

 

Nothing much I've experienced has been harder than losing one of my furs. And I cannot imagine being well able to return to a site of so much hope, after having your own hopes dashed .

Take it easy, and take some hugs.

 

(((((Barbara))))) so nice to see you.
We all understand how difficult it is to loose one of our babies.
Take all the time you need, whenever you need it.
Some of these

and then some of these
for old times sake.

 

(((((Barbara)))))

No apologies needed and guilt is reserved for good intentions you don't really have. Each of us deal with our grief in our own way and in our own time. As Marje said, none of those "formulas" mean a thing other than to serve in broad generalities. This place is a family and we truly understand. I know I'm not around as much as I once was -- not needing to be home to give a shot mean longer days at work. Be here when you can -- both you and Uncle are missed.

 

hugs