DKA again (less than a month later)

Hi guys,

I haven't been on here for a little while now because Sassy has been doing so well. It was just a month ago when she was hospitalized with DKA. She just about died but made a great recovery and has been doing great. She has been more alert, healthy, and playful. She has been wonderful. Her BG levels have been pretty good and she just went to the vet about two weeks ago for a checkup and she was doing great. Cut, to last Sunday when she started doing the going into the litterbox every few minutes and walking around crying. I went ahead and took her to the emergency vet and they didn't take a urine sample because they said that there wasn't any urine in her bladder. They gave her shots and put her on an antibiotic. Monday she threw up quite a bit but I figured the medicine might be making her sick. I took her back to the vet yesterday for a regularly scheduled checkup and some bloodwork. I was very dismayed to find that she had not ate the food that I put down for her yesterday morning.

The vet did the tests and said that she no longer had an infection. She said to call her today if she didn't eat anything last night or this morning because she would be concerned. Of course, she did not touch a single bite of her food either time and she has been hiding under the couch ever since we returned. My mom was able to detect the smell of ketones on her last time and called me this morning to tell me that she can smell the same smell again. Also, the vet during the exam, felt a lump in her stomach area. This is exactly how it started last time and here we are again. It hasn't even been a full month since we went through this. Is this something that happens all the time? I called the vet first thing this morning but she has not returned my call yet. I have to work today, because everyone else is on vacation and I am certainly not allowed to close down and leave. I am so incredibly upset.

I don't want anything to think of me as a bad person that doesn't love my cat because I truly do. I love her so much and this hurts so bad, but I am completely tapped out. I have spent $350 this week alone. I think that the medical bills are reaching the $3000 mark for this one month. I am a single mom to a 4 year old. I work full-time but I don't make much money and I can't afford it. I read a lot of comments on another board that said that people shouldn't own pets if they can't afford their medical expenses. Well, when I took Sassy in as a stray 9 years ago, I was married in a two person income household with no children. Things change. It hurts me so badly. I just think that this is going to be something that happens on a regular basis and I know that the mass in her stomach is nothing but bad news.

I think that I am going to have to put her down. I just wish that the vet would hurry up and call me back.

 

Hello again,

I just spoke to the vet a few minutes ago and I am going to have Sassy put down at 4:30 this afternoon. I cried like a baby the entire time that I was talking to her. I need to decide if I am going to be in there with her--I don't think that I can and what I want to do with her remains. I really don't know what to do.

I am devastated beyond belief and I have to stay here at work until close to the time. I am not going to get to spend any time with her before then but I can't just let it keep going over the weekend.

 

Does the vet think it is full-blown DKA again or is it possible that she has some ketones but not that high?

I'm very sorry you've had to make this decision. See if you can get off early to spend some time with Sassy. You might consider asking a close friend to go with you.

Hugs,
Pam

 

Well, she didn't suggest it yesterday, but it is the exact same symptoms as last time. Her suggestion is to send her to a specialist that is one hour away where the cost of the consultation is $150 and the ultrasound is $350. She would probably have to be hospitalized there and that would be additional costs and she said it would be much more expensive than hospitalization there which was over $400 the last time. Of course, if the ultrasound shows a tumor like she suspects then the outcome is still the same.

I feel so guilty. She has been in and out of the vet's office, the ER vet, the hospital over and over and over since last August. I have done a lot for her (at least I will keep telling myself that) but I feel horrible. I know that if I had an unlimited supply of money and time off of work that I would do all that I could for her. I would go without eating to help her but I cannot, in good conscience, let my child go without.

My heart is so broken. I don't have anyone to go with me so I am going to have to do it myself and I'm going to have to dig the grave for her myself as well.

 

I'm sooo very sorry..I mean this is just heartbreaking. All I can offer is prayers for guidance and love. I'm so so sorry.
Jeanne

 

Thank you for your responses. It shouldn't be this difficult, I should be used to dealing with loss in my life by now. I can't imagine how I am going to get up in the morning and not have the same little sweet girl there banging up against my door trying to get me to get up and feed her. How am I supposed to be able to get up and go to work without her there in the bathroom watching me put my makeup on? Who is going to snuggle with me late at night on the couch while I am watching trashy reality shows?

You take so many things for granted in life and wish that you would have known things then that you know now. I brought her home from the ER vet Sunday afternoon and I was so tired. I went to lie down to take a nap and Sassy came in there and looked up at the bed (I don't typically let her sleep with me), I patted the bed and she was able to make the jump and she laid right up next to me. It was almost like I was spooning her! She would lay her head back and look up at me and purr. We both went to sleep. If only I had known then that that would be the last time that I would ever get to have her sleep beside me then I would have had her in the bed with me every night since then. If only I had spent more time with her.

 

(((Karla))) I'm so sorry.

 

I am saddened by Sassy's condition. Sometimes we just have to make the final decision based on our individual situation. Sending purrs and prayers.

 

*HUGS*

I am so so so sorry.
I had to make the same decision earlier this week and it is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.

She knows you love her and did everything you could for her. Imagine what her life would have been like had she remained a stray. She's been loved all these years and has had a good home. If she's too sick to continue, hold her tight and let her go to where she will be pain-free and healthy again.

Odiesmom

 

Karla, hugs for you and prayers for an easy passing for Sassy. Hopefully, you can hold her close as she crosses the Rainbow Bridge to freedom from pain and disease.

Peace,

Claudia

 

Thank you once again to everyone for their incredible kindness and thoughtful words. I am going to leave work in a little while to go get her. My mom is with her and she is miserable right now. She said that she is just lying by her water bowl and can barely lift her head but she doesn't want to be petted. I hope I am making the right decision. For those who believe in the power of prayer, if you could please say a prayer for Sassy that she won't be too scared and a prayer for me that I will have the strength to do this, and a prayer for my four year old who has never had to face death. If you don't pray, then send all the warm, positive thoughts and vibes that you can send. Thank you again.

 

I am so sorry, Karla. My heart breaks for you.

~M

 

I am so sorry ......just brings me to tears reading your posts....

Hugs to you and Sassy.

 

I am so sorry. I read this at work and cried. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Pattie

 

my prayers are with you and Sassy. May she fly free.

 

karla,
god this is so very hard to do, but of course i do understand and support you. it's not true that we should only have kitties if we can afford their medical care. these days that could run into the thousands and thousands. not too many peeps have an unlimited supply of money. we have a kitty becuase we LOVE them and give as much as we possibly can until it is not financially smart to continue (sorry but that is real life)
if anyone lets you know they feel differently they just live in a fairy tale.
bless you and your baby.
i hope you were together at the end.
lori
and tomtom too!

 

PLEASE don't feel guilty! You gave her a loving home and there is no telling what her life would have been like without you. I truly belive there are worse things that can happen to a kitty then ending a life that is torture to them.
Hugs
Lynn

 

My posts don't seem to be showing up for some reason. I just wanted to let you know that Sassy passed away today around 5:15. She didn't want to be held but she was lying on the exam table. I would get down on my knees to look her in the eye and she would start purring when I was talking to her. I keep blaming myself and thinking that I should have done more for her but she was really sick. I know that she wouldn't have made it through the weekend since she hadn't had a single bite of food since Wed. evening. She went peacefully but cried when they were holding her down to give her the shot. I couldn't watch, but I did stay in the room. My mom was over there stroking her and telling her how much we loved her. The staff was incredibly nice and was giving me hugs when I left and telling me that they were sorry for my loss. It is amazing how much kind words from strangers help.

I felt a bit of a relief when she was gone like I know that she is no longer suffering. I opted to take her home and bury her which proved to be so much more difficult than I thought. After I got that done, I sat and sobbed full on deep belly sobs. Thank you again to everyone for their kindness in my time of need. I know that it is going to continue to be rough for a little while.

 

I am so very sorry for your loss. It is clear from your posts how much Sassy and you loved each other. My heart aches for you.

 

I'm so very sorry for your loss. We can only do as much as we can do. In the end though, we do our best and that has to be enough. Everything we do for them is more then they'd get if they were feral and did not have a loving owner/companion.

 

(((((Karla))))) I am so very sorry for your loss. You did the right thing,hon---you loved her!! Fly, sweet Sassy, free of pain. Stay by your Mum awhile and let her know how much you love her and that you are free. wings_cat

 

Karla, I am so sorry that Sassy had to go ahead. There is no one in the world that can fault you for your decision, that was, I'm sure, the most difficult you've ever made in your life. We are all holding your hand and hoping that you will never ever try to rethink it. What if's are so dangerous... and you did what you did with all the love in your heart in order to spare Sassy pain and illness. You are a very good mom to your child and you were a good mommy to Sassy. May God grant you peace, and then a smile when you think of your sweet little one. She will be there watching you.... When you feel the need to cuddle at night, take a pillow and cuddle it as you would have her... I sware, there have been times when I've felt my pillow purring... or perhaps I was dreaming my sweet Charlie was in my arms again.

Take time with your child and know that Sassy is at peace... I just know it..


Sassy
© 2010 Carol Notermann

I could hear you saying “Sassy”, in your very gentle way.
You told me that it was all right, I didn’t have to stay.
I was getting very tired, and the pain was leaving too
I closed my eyes a second, and a field came into view.

I still could hear you talking, but you seemed quite far away
Though I longed to be beside you, I just couldn’t seem to stay
For one moment I was with you, and the next I’m running free
I turned my head and there were others, running next to me.

We ran together through the field, and birdies filled the sky.
We chased and played together, then I turned and wondered why?
Why were you not behind us? I wondered where you went.
Then someone was beside me, and He had a lovely scent.

He petted me and told me that I simply had to wait.
That before I‘d time to miss you, you’d be coming through the gate.
He said that very loyal pets, were granted special space
To wait for those who loved them, to see again their face.

So please, know I am waiting with other cats, and dogs and more
For the day that I can see again the face that I adore.
It’s really such a lovely place, there’s no sickness and no pain.
I’ll purr and leap for joy when I see you once again.

Thank you for setting me free.

Sassy, your little girl

 

I am so so sorry for your loss. Sassy is at peace now, I hope that will bring you some comfort in the days to come.

 

I am so very sorry for your loss. I could just feel the love you had for Sassy in your words. Be gentle with yourself now, you have just done the kindest, but most difficult thing you may ever have had to do. It will take time, but I pray that someday soon your memories of Sassy will bring a smile instead of tears.

Fly high and free Sassy, you've earned those wings sweetie. Keep watch over your mom... until you meet again.

 

You did your best for her. You must remember that there are so many kitties out there that never have the love and care that she had. What is important that she experienced love in her life and kindness that so may never know.

 

Thank all of you again for your incredible kindness. Today has been pretty rough.

Carol, that poem was truly the most beautiful thing that I have ever read. It made me cry and it made me feel a great deal of peace as well.

I am going to try and order her a headstone tomorrow. I was going to do it today but I just couldn't. It really hurt me to throw out her bed and blankie, but it just about killed me to throw out her cat toys. She only played with one of them but it was some kind of flimsy toy from the dollar store that had a wand with a string attached to it. My son had torn the toy that dangled off the end of it off, so it was just a wand and a string. She loved that toy so much! She would actually pick up the string in her mouth and drag the whole thing over to me when she wanted to play. She would even drag it to her bed with her. Just a few nights ago, I heard a loud noise in the kitchen and it was her dragging that toy across the hardwood floor to bring it to me to play with her.

It's really hard to believe that she was just here yesterday.

 

I am so sorry for your loss.

May all your wonderful memories of Sassy comfort you...

...'til you meet again.

 

Karla, I'm so sorry that it came to this. hugs to all of you

Jen

 

((( Karla )))

I'm so sorry you had to go through this. We're never ready to say goodbye. Bless you for having taken her in and given her a good life. Fly free, sweet Sassy.

 

I am so, so sorry for your loss. I know exactly how you are feeling right now. I had to go through the same same with my sweet Tida in February.

If it's any consolation...it does get a little easier. You did the right thing. She knew you loved her.

 

Oh, Karla,

I'm so sorry to read about Sassy, and sorry that I haven't been on the board much in the past several weeks. Don't feel bad, you did what you felt was best and you took such good care of Sassy. She had many happy years with you, and you were lucky to have had each other.

 

Karla, I am a bit late reading this, but my heart goes out to you. Sending much love and thoughts, you did the best you could and I think it was the right choice, your kitty was very ill. Love, Kay