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  1. Julie and Eleanor (GA)

    Julie and Eleanor (GA) Well-Known Member

    Jan 31, 2012
    I don't know if anyone will remember Eleanor, but even though we didn't post here often, FDMB was such an important part of her life, I felt I should let everyone know that she has passed away.
    Eleanor had a hard time for years with pancreatitis, irregular bloodsugar, and "probable" IBD/"possible" lymphoma - I was not able to afford an ultrasound to try to pin that down.
    The last years, her bg finally became steady and even flat most of the time sitting in 100's on a low dose of Lantus.

    I knew something was wrong and that I was losing her beginning last Fall in spite of blood work and physicals that looked great.
    In April she suddenly became very ill and was diagnosed with acute renal failure due to a severe infection. I did not have the $6000+ I was quoted for hospitalization, I can't forgive myself for that, I know how vital IV fluids were. I gave her sub q fluids at home, as well as a 4 week course of two different antibiotics. Eleanor improved greatly but never really recovered, she was very fragile. I feel that the hit her body took was just too much on top of everything else.
    Her phosphorus was high, and she was dehydrated in spite of daily sub q fluids. Her bg remained good and she never developed more than trace ketones, which increased sub q fluids took care of.

    The time came when I was forced to realize Eleanor needed, and wanted, to leave this world. It was the most difficult decision I have ever made. She left peacefully with love and dignity, and with me holding her, of course.

    Eleanor and her brother, Jake, came into my life in October 2003 as 3 week old feral kitten foster's after their mother was killed by a car. They were both very ill with URI's. By the time they were ready to be adopted out, I was so attached, I adopted them.
    I lost sweet Jake to renal cancer in November 2013.

    I am really struggling with the loss of Eleanor. As you know, the bond you form with your sugar cat is unlike any other. It is so strong, and it never breaks. When they leave, you are missing your companion and friend, and a huge part of yourself.
    Eleanor was never really out of my mind - as I know most of you understand.
    I don't know how to deal with the regrets, the should haves etc. I don't know how to let go and carry on, although I suppose one just does, somehow, because you have to go on living.
  2. carfurby

    carfurby Well-Known Member

    Feb 19, 2012
    I remember sweet Eleanor. I know you did everything you could for her. Sometimes it's just not enough. Don't second guess yourself. I'm so sorry she had to leave you. Sending prayers. Fly free Eleanor. :bighug::bighug::bighug::bighug::bighug::bighug::bighug:
  3. Shoeskitty-GA

    Shoeskitty-GA Well-Known Member

    Feb 18, 2016
    I remember Eleanor and you, Julie. I am so sorry that it was her time but please know that you did everything possible for her. Please don't let this consume you and try to keep in your mind that she knew that she was loved and cared for.
  4. Julie and Eleanor (GA)

    Julie and Eleanor (GA) Well-Known Member

    Jan 31, 2012
    Thank you Carla.
  5. Julie and Eleanor (GA)

    Julie and Eleanor (GA) Well-Known Member

    Jan 31, 2012
    Thank you Sandi.
  6. J.J. and Phoebe Squeak

    J.J. and Phoebe Squeak Member

    Apr 28, 2019
    I am new here so I was not able to travel on the journey with you & Eleanor, but your post was so touching. I am very sorry for your loss. I know Eleanor is bragging about you in cat heaven. Please try to be kind to yourself.
  7. learjetta

    learjetta Member

    May 16, 2019
    I’m relatively new here, so I did not know Eleanor. Your post was incredibly moving, and I know Eleanor knew how much she was loved!

    I’m so sorry for your loss. :bighug:
  8. Bellasmom

    Bellasmom Well-Known Member

    Feb 12, 2018
    Although I didnt know u and Eleanor sounds like u did all u could and u were a great mom, dont be hard on urself, u gave her a great life and at the end u gave her the ultimate gift of love and let her rest, my heart goes out to u
  9. Jerry dutchboy

    Jerry dutchboy Well-Known Member

    Mar 27, 2019
    I don't know you or Eleanor or your journey, but your post just shows how much you loved her and how much you cared for her well-being up to the end. Eleanor knew and felt how much you loved her and for that you should be incredibly kind to yourself. Hard and all as it is, try to focus on the happy times you had together and know that you gave her a life full of love. Big hugs to you, I am sorry for your loss and for how much sorrow you are feeling.:bighug::bighug:
  10. LizzieInTexas

    LizzieInTexas Well-Known Member

    Jul 25, 2016
    Oh Julie I am so, so sorry. No matter how long it is never long enough.

    Fly free and land softly sweet Eleanor cat_wings>o
  11. Osha

    Osha Well-Known Member

    Apr 16, 2016
    Julie, I am so sorry for the loss of Eleanor. You were an amazing bean to her and took wonderful care of her. She will be waiting for you at the bridge.:bighug::bighug::bighug:

    Fly free sweet Eleanor.
  12. tiffmaxee

    tiffmaxee Well-Known Member

    Nov 15, 2013
    I remember you as well. I’m so sorry it was Eleanor’s time to cross. :bighug:
  13. Tracey&Jones (GA)

    Tracey&Jones (GA) Well-Known Member

    Dec 12, 2016
    I remember your sweat Eleanor.

    I am sorry to read that she has passed. You are right, it is hard to let our sugar babies go, the strength of the bond is unique which is why she knows you did the best by her and with all the love in your heart.

    Wishing you peace and tranquility in order to let your heart mend.
  14. Sharon14

    Sharon14 Well-Known Member

    Aug 16, 2015
    Julie, I remember you and Eleanor. I’m so very sorry to hear that she has passed. Please don’t be hard on yourself. I know that you did all that you could for her and when her time came you set her free from her pain with dignity and true love.

    Fly Free Sweet Eleanor :rb_icon:
  15. Carol & Murphy

    Carol & Murphy Well-Known Member

    Aug 9, 2015
    Hi Julie - I saw your post on a feline facebook page and figured it was you and Eleanor. I am so happy you posted here - I've often wondered what was going on with you two. It really sounds like you did absolutely everything for her - the fluids and antibiotics are what they would have done in the hospital and you were able to do it for her at home. At some point, their little bodies just stop working and it was Eleanor's time. I'm so sorry for the sadness you are left with. We all know how much you love her - Everyone is different, but at some point, if you are up to it, shelters are bursting at their seams with kittens that need foster homes right now. Sometimes, that helps. Know we are all here for you:bighug::bighug:. Please take care, Julie.
  16. Amy&TrixieCat

    Amy&TrixieCat Well-Known Member

    Feb 14, 2011
    I remember you and sweet Eleanor, Julie. I'm so sorry it was her time to cross and join our other sugar kitties at The Bridge. She knows how much you loved her, and she will always be a part of who you are. She is in very good company until you can be together again. Hugs and prayers....
  17. AliceMeowliss&Cassandra

    AliceMeowliss&Cassandra Well-Known Member

    Jan 8, 2019
    I am so sorry for your loss. My sugar cat was part of a brother sister feral rescue duo too, and that relationship was beautiful to witness. I miss her brother every day.
    It sounds like Eleanor was just at her end, and I know the feeling of wanting to fix it, but it cannot always be fixed, even when we do our best. Please do not feel guilt. You gave her the absolute best life she could have had. And you loved her, that much is very clear.
  18. Bobbie And Bubba

    Bobbie And Bubba Well-Known Member

    Jun 15, 2015
    (((((Oh Julie)))). I remember you and Eleanor and have wondered how you were doing. I’m so sorry that it was was Eleanor’s time to leave. You were a loving and dutiful care giver.

    Sending vines of comfort. :bighug::rb_icon:cat_wings>o
    Last edited: Jul 3, 2019
  19. Dyana

    Dyana Well-Known Member

    Dec 28, 2009
    Big Tears.
    I'm so sorry for your loss of your beautiful and sweet Eleanor (((((((Julie)))))))
  20. Dale 'n' Chip

    Dale 'n' Chip Well-Known Member

    May 1, 2012
    Julie... :bighug::bighug::bighug:

    Chip and I arrived here around the same time as you.

    Through ups and downs, thick and thin, you gave Eleanor the best and most loving care. And she gave you better than 7 additional years.

    Fly free sweet Eleanor. :rb_icon:
  21. Wendy&Neko

    Wendy&Neko Senior Member Moderator

    Feb 28, 2012
    Julie, I am so sorry it was sweet Eleonor’s time to earn her angel wings. :bighug::bighug::bighug: I too joined not long after you and remember your girl and your love for her. Fly free Eleanor. cat_wings>o
  22. Tricia Cinco(GA) & Harvey

    Tricia Cinco(GA) & Harvey Well-Known Member

    Jul 18, 2011

    I have thought of you and Eleanor often and wondered how you were doing. You have been through so much, and through it all, you were always loving and devoted to Eleanor. Please do not feel guilty about anything you didn't do. You went above and beyond what most would do, and often more than you were really "able" to do. I have always admired your dedication. Eleanor knew how much you loved her, and she trusted you to do what was best for her, which you did. You fought hard for her, and when she didn't want to fight any more, you gave her the greatest gift, although I know you didn't want to do it. How can one ask more of you than that?

    Know that she will never really be gone, as she will always be in your heart. Be kind to yourself now. Healing will take time. Lean on us. We understand and we hurt with you. :bighug::bighug::bighug:

    Fly free, Eleanor, and land softly. :rb_icon:
  23. Meesta Simmy

    Meesta Simmy Member

    Feb 14, 2019

    I'm new here and never got to know you and Eleanor, but I'm 110% sure that you loved her greatly and did everything that you could. Eleanor is no longer suffering and you were there to help her pass. That's probably the greatest thing that you could have done for her.

    Big hugs!
  24. Crista & Ming

    Crista & Ming Well-Known Member

    Jun 10, 2018
    Julie :bighug::bighug::bighug::bighug::bighug::bighug::bighug:

    I didn't know Eleanor but the way you speak of her shows just how much you loved her. You did the best you could and while I understand those regrets are heavy on you but your love and dedication is stronger and better.

    Take care, Julie. Eleanor was lucky to have you as her friend and guardian.
  25. JeffJ

    JeffJ Well-Known Member

    Jul 7, 2016
    For 16 years you provided the best home a kitteh could have. Then you dealt with diabetes and other diseases for the last 8 years. No one could have done better.

    You are right. The bonds we forge with our sugar kittehs are the deepest. I think that they know the love that we give through all our support and insulin treatments.

    Rest in Peace gentle Eleanor, you were loved.:rb_icon:
  26. Olive & Paula

    Olive & Paula Well-Known Member

    Sep 6, 2015
    I remember you and Eleanor. So sorry it was time for her wings. You provided all you could, the most important love, a home and friendship to her and her brother. If not for you their life could have been very short and or on the streets.

    Rest easy Eleanor, you and Jake are together again. Keep your purrs and paws on mom. :bighug::bighug::bighug::bighug:
  27. Moms2Tigger&Blu

    Moms2Tigger&Blu Member

    Jul 23, 2018
  28. Sonia & Leo

    Sonia & Leo Well-Known Member

    May 24, 2018
    You obviously loved Eleanor and her little brother very much. I'm so sorry for your loss, Julie. :bighug::bighug::bighug:
  29. Marje and Gracie

    Marje and Gracie Senior Member Moderator

    May 30, 2010

    I am so deeply sorry to hear of Eleanor’s passing. I know she has been your light and love for many, many years and always will be. I also know that you put your own health at risk to care for her and she was always first.

    It is hard to not have regrets no matter how much we did for our babies. I’ve learned that we have to let those go. You did the absolute best you could have done for her and she knows that. She loves you dearly.

    You gave her the best gift of love by knowing it was time and she was ready. You gave her dignity. I strongly believe our loved ones are with us after they pass. Listen to the stillness and I know you will hear her purr.


    Gentle journey, sweet Eleanor.
  30. Julie and Eleanor (GA)

    Julie and Eleanor (GA) Well-Known Member

    Jan 31, 2012
    I can't express how much your comments mean to me. Thank you all so much.
    I know Eleanor feels the outpouring of love, as do I.
  31. Gussie's mom (GA)

    Gussie's mom (GA) Well-Known Member

    Jun 25, 2016
    Hello old friend...
    I DO remember you and Eleanor..you may not know but you both are hard to forget! I have wondered at times how you and Eleanor were doing. Julie, I am so sorry. I know you are hurting and know it is excruciating to lose Eleanor after sharing so many many years and experiences together. It has to be hard feeling than anything is normal without her by your side. And how the second guessing and beating yourself up about what you were and weren’t able to do is never ending and tends to consume each still moment. I agree with Marje and the others, you made the absolute best decisions you humanly could in the situation at that moment. We can’t go back and change all of the variables we were dealing with, and truly that’s really the only way we could possibly come to a different decision or action at that time...I do the same self searching, but the end of it always is that it played out the only way it could given the variables at that time, I think all who have had to let our fur babies fly do it, and always will, that’s part of loving fiercely..but my hope for you is that there will come a time when you can do it more gently to yourself..said with love and respect and a warm hug for you and gentle hopes for healing..
    I remember you were juggling so many things when you were posting, add to that your own health issues and I was always amazed that you were able to keep Eleanor so well cared for, a true testament to your love for her and hers for you. That was clear in each and every post. Eleanor was a fighter, and in you as her mama bean she had a great champion. You fought a long time, far longer than many would have. And hardest of all, you were loving and honored your bond with Eleanor, and her love at the most difficult time. You were true to your bond and the promises we make to our fur babies to keep them safe and free from harm even at the end. That was the most loving protection, honoring her when she was ready to fly tho it broke your heart.
    I too believe they stay with us..I used to actually see an old homeless Siamese I took in for his last days, he had cancer. For a month after he passed I saw him, plain as day sitting and watching me drive off to work. Then he was gone..I always figured that he was saying thank you and making sure I knew he was ok and whole again..I do hope you listen for Eleanor’s purr as Marje so beautifully put it. I believe she will stay to be sure you are ok and to be sure you know she is safe and whole again.
    Hoping your heart starts to heal and that that huge hole in it is patched over with sweet, pain free Eleanor memories with time.
    Land softly Eleanor, I know there is a new light at the bridge..
    Gentle Hugs to you Julie,
    Last edited: Jul 8, 2019
    Reason for edit: Spelling fix
  32. Susan&Felix

    Susan&Felix Well-Known Member

    Sep 4, 2017
    I'm sorry for your loss of beautiful Eleanor and wish you comfort in your heartache.:bighug:
  33. Red & Rover (GA)

    Red & Rover (GA) Well-Known Member

    May 18, 2016
    Julie, I'm so, so sorry. The sugar cat bond is indeed special. Eleanor went above and beyond what she could do and you went above and beyond what you could do. And all of it was an honour.
  34. Jill & Alex (GA)

    Jill & Alex (GA) Senior Member Moderator

    Dec 28, 2009
    ((((( Julie )))))
    Be gentle and kind to yourself. You did all you could... you gave it all to her.

    "She left peacefully with love and dignity, and with me holding her..."

    Eleanor knew she was loved and felt your loving care right up 'til the end.

    Hoping you're able to find peace and comfort in memories of your life together.

    :bighug: :bighug: :bighug: :bighug: :bighug:

    cat_wings>o Fly free little Eleanor...
  35. Bron and Sheba (GA)

    Bron and Sheba (GA) Well-Known Member

    Feb 21, 2015
    Yes I remember you Julie and dear Eleanor, such a beautiful looking girl. It’s true we have such a strong close bond with our FD kitties, and when it’s time for them to leave, it is devastating. In time I hope you will be able to remember what a wonderful life she had with you.
    Fly free sweet Eleanor and land softly at the rainbow bridge :rb_icon:cat_wings>o

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