This cat momma bean is stressed out, frustrated, and discouraged.

Struggling in every way possible. Here is her
condo from yesterday. Today her AMPS was super high again. Numbers are crazy right now…
This home testing thing is killing me! I’ve read all the how-to’s, tips, and tricks documents, watched a bunch of videos, etc. etc. I know everyone is doing their best to help me with some piece of wisdom often overlooked by stressed newbies, but I’m doing everything I’m “supposed” to be doing. I know exactly what I’m supposed to do. I could pass the theoretical exam with an A+, I promise, but I’d fail the practical.
I’m pissed, she’s pissed, and I hate starting AND ending my day a shaking ball of tears. Her little ears are bruised because I haven’t been shooting in the right place (either hitting the vein, or on the inside of the marginal vein not the outside which is what I’m aiming for) and she’s getting kind of bitey when I try to test, probably because of the bruising.
She is initially cooperative. She will come right over to the testing spot, will let me sit her down. She will usually try to dart away a few times throughout the process, but I can gently guide her back to sitting position. She purrs while I warm her ear and scratch her chin/head/other places she likes. As soon as I try to manipulate her ear by folding it over (shooting on the inside helps me a little since it’s not so furry and dark) she gets a little wiggly. I try to position the lancet device and my finger on her ear, and she will yelp and nip me. Same after I lancet, yelping and attempts to bite and get away. Does NOT like when I try to “milk” her ear, which is why I kind of gave up on aiming for the outer edge of the ear, since I never get enough blood there.
I know that I need to test her more than just AMPS and PMPS, I *know* that, but right now I just can’t make it happen. Especially since I live alone. I can manage the whole thing a lot easier when my boyfriend stays over at my apartment because he will hold her for me, but I can’t just rely on having another person there. He doesn’t live with me. It’s just me. I know that someday she will need a curve but I can’t even IMAGINE trying to test every few hours. Her ears still hurt from the time before so she isn’t having any of it.
Now I’m second-guessing myself on the process of giving her insulin at all, the ONE thing I felt easy enough. The first few days/times, she didn’t even notice or care about the injection. The last two times, however, she has actually fought me a little – last night she jerked to run away from me before the needle was out and same thing this morning. She ran away from me right off of the needle.