? Help - I am at my wits end with kitty and may need to rehome him :(

It's my civvie Figgie this time- not my sugar kitty Ozzy.

We had a baby 7 months ago and all hell has turned loose with this cat. He is peeing and pooping outside the cat box and its UNACCEPTABLE to me especially with my baby learning to crawl right now He deserves to crawl across a floor and carpet free of cat urine and feces and I will not let this cat destroy my house because he is jealous of my baby.

It's not the cat box, the litter, he's been to vet right before the baby was born and vet could not believe that my 15 YO cat had ZERO medical problems and was a picture of perfect health. He just hates my baby and is very territorial. Feliaway sprays haven't worked.

What do i do!?? I have had this cat for 15 yrs and he will likely live 5-10 more years. But he can't keep doing this in my house! I don't think I can re-home him due to his litter box issues (no one wants a cat who voids outside the box) and let's be honest .. he's an AHole cat to everyone and only likes me.

Is it possible to try to introduce him to outdoor living? That's really what he wants ....or at least to go outside. Only problem is when he gets the outdoor smells on him, he freaks out the other cat who growls and hisses at him for like 3 days and will attack him if he gets close and then Figgie gets all sad and doesn't understand why his brother is acting that way.

What about drugs? Is there any kind of medication I can give that will calm him down and stop the litter box issues? Guys you know I am desperate here if I am talking about drugging my cat!!

And I AM desperate. If we can't figure out a solution here quick- he has got to go! I love my baby more than my cat and he should not ever have to crawl through cat urine on the floor!

HELP!!!!

 

Are you spending a lot less time with him? If so, he's jealous. Try to have some special time with him. If this isn't the case and it sounds you have tried everything, you may have to try Prozac. I have heard it helps with mental issues. Good luck!

 

Hey Jo ❤️ This breaks my heart but totally understand . Have you checked with your vet about medicating him ? I do not think that is extreme at all . Will keep you in my heart and prayers Cannot believe it’s been 7 months ! And already crawling ! Praying you can find a solution so Figgy can stay . Maybe also find a homeopathic vet who could weigh in . Elmo says hello to Ozzy ❤️❤️❤️❤️

 

As we get older in life we are less able to easily cope with change. It takes time and effort.

I wouldn't use the word 'jealous' so much so. More 'stress, anxiety , confusion, loss ' . Those types of words.

He is 15 yrs old . His world and his world order has been turned upside down and inside out. Smells , sounds, everything is different. Things that were OK before are now not - and I am not meaning the way he is displaying his anxieties with the wee/poo outside of his tray. As you have said , he is a loyal one person cat & now he has to share. Think of it in people terms. If you were in what you thought was a very loving marriage and then your partner brought in someone else to love more then you, you would be devastated .

Reassurance, attention, quality time and space with you is the key. He was your cat and you were his person. That's still there. It will take patience and understanding to bring him back to know that he still has his place . Once he feels that then his anxiety displays will reduce and calm down.

It's the age old thing. Praise and reward good behaviour. Ignore unwanted behaviour. Reinforce inclusivity.

I hope you find a solution that works for you all . If not someone will likely love to adopt this senior pusscat.

 

Thanks. Unfortunately I have not been able to give him as much attention due to the new baby. And I feel awful. Thanks for the advice on Prozac

 

Thank you for your words. I am so mad at him right now but I totally love him to pieces and am going to try to make more of an effort with him. The first few months were so difficult with the baby and for me personally. My other sugar baby suffered too and was very deoressed as well but not acting out the same way. I do feel just awful. Things will never be the same .. we have a baby now and they are going to have to adapt.

 

Hi Beth!! So nice to hear from you! Time sure flies by! Thanks for thinking of us Hope you and Elmo are well . Is he still OTJ? Here is a pic of my sweet baby Jacob at 6 months. He just celebrated 7 mos yesterday 4

 

I have a civvie...she is on Clomicalm...prozac for dogs but you can use it for cats. My civvie takes a half a pill a day and totally stopped doing her house soiling.

For Jones that was going just around the LB...a trick from Bobbie was to add in a bit of catnip. It worked...in over a week he has gone to the LB. Just a pinch in the center every couple of days and problem solved.

 

Jo, he is a doll !!! I just am certain you will find a way to get Figgie settled down . You already have several pieces of good advice from responses here . Please keep us posted . ❤️ And yes , ole Elmo is still OTJ and chugging along

 

Do not feel awful and it is OK to feel cross. You've had a huge change in life.
Heck . My old Ty was a-pooping all over the place and even though I knew he could not help this and it was in part him trying to communicate with me about how he was feeling , I still felt cross at times & that cat was my world as I was his.

I like the catnip idea. Also - back to basics - where is the tray . Is it in a place off limits to babes .
Let's have a few 'thinks'.
Has their usual cat sleep places been disturbed or become off limits.
Did they get introduced to baby smells before Jacob appeared.
Is there something that smells of Jacob and you that could be placed down as a comfy Figgie blanky .

Has either cat lashed out at your son or have they just displayed a form of grief.

'Course you love Figgie. If you didn't you wouldn't have posted here.

 

I have a great animal communicator named Linda Johns. She has helped me many, many, many times over 15 years. She’s spot on and well worth $80/hour.

 

Hi Marje!! So nice to see you post on my condo! Thank you! Can you PM me.the info please?

Wanted to personally thank you so much for all the advice last year with Ozzy. He went to the vet recently and had a full work up and is perfectly healthy despite having diabetes and has no organ damage or complicaitons yet due to his diabetes. I believe all the wonderful advice from you and others on this board have contributed to his health.

Fortunately I have learned to manage his diabetes the best I can. And unfortunately I have learned my cat is a very bad diabetic and severely prone to ketones. He will start developing low ketones after missing only ONE shot of insulin . So we keep a close eye on him and the ketone meter you gave me has been put to great use! Thank you!!!

 

Whoops. I see you hyper linked her info . Thanks

 

Thanks, Jo, and it’s great to see you around with the picture of your adorable baby boy. I’m so sorry you’ve been having these issues and I’m glad Ozzy is doing so well. You are very welcome....it was my honor to help you and Ozzy.

Linda has helped several friends and relatives figure out what was wrong so I hope you can arrange to speak to her and see what she can tell you. Good luck!! Pls keep us posted.

 

Hi Jo,

Others have already said pretty much everything I would have said, so I'll just send some comfort vines to Ozzy, Figgie and you. I hope you can figure this out and become one big, happy family again.

Okay, on the thought: your stress communicates itself to him, so when he upsets you, try to leave the room and calm down. Do talk to the vet about meds. I had Harvey on Valium for a while and it helped.

Jacob's a cutie!

 

Get a completely new box. Try cat attract litter. FELIWAY DIFFUSERS. Last resort Prozac

 

Another option for guidance is the consultation clinic at Cornell University's Feline Health Center. They have feline behaviorists and vets who can make recommendations.

You might want to look at Jackson Galaxy's website. He has all sorts of herbal remedies formulated for cats. I don't know anyone who's used his products but there may be something there.

Another excellent feline behaviorists is Pam Johnson-Bennett. She has an article on her website about cats and a new baby.

 

My sister adopted three kids. The first was showered in love naturally, then acted out when his new sisters arrived. A child psychologist finally pried his deepest fear from him, he thought he was being replaced. They had the advantage of being able to talk to each other.
You only have so much to give and never need to feel guilt about setting priorities.

 

When a family comes home from the hospital with a baby brother or sister, no one is surprised when the older kids are upset and act out. They figure out a way to make it work. A pet is no different, especially one that has been a family member for 15 years.

 

I wish I could offer advice but I know this must be very stressful for you so just offering some hugs.

 

Good morning , Jo ❤️ Just curious but on top of all of this are you still working ??? Sending hugs and prayers

 

Thanks!

 

I did get a brand new bigger box and scooper and cat genie and have the feliaway spray. The diffuser makes me nervous . Have you seen the amazon reviews of them smoking in the wall. Can't have that happening.

 

Thanks! Love Jackson Galaxy!

 

Yes I agree. Poor Figgie and Ozzy! We are trying to be more attentive . The first few months were so hard. A newborn baby is so needy and nurses around the clock. My problem is I've loved these kitties as if they were my own children and they love me more than anyone so not even Daddy can make up for my affection . And Figgie is a 1 person only loyal cat so he has had the hardest time.

 

Thank you. Yes- I am stressed beyond belief!

 

Yes! Good lord.. I have a lot on my plate!

 

I have used Jackson Galaxy’s products but the ones I like better....flower essences as well but a higher quality...is Green Hope Farms. After Gracie crossed, I used “Grief” for Tobey and when I make brought our new kitty home 9 mos later, I used “New beginnings” for them both and we had a wonderful transition of Livia into our home. I always use “Breathe” for her.

Green Hope Farms also makes essences for people so check out their ones for stress. I don’t k ow if you have time or not, but even five minutes of mediation using the mantra “I am at Peacd” on the inhale and “no stress can touch me” on the exhale really helps center and ground me.

IMHO, I feel there are so many natural remedies out there that i prefer those. I don’t like to take drugs of any sort and so I don’t want to put my kitties on them if there is any other possibility to help them. The Cat Attract is an excellent idea. It stopped my stepdaughter’s cat’s litter box avoidance very quickly.

But you still want to try and get to the root of the issue.

 

Hopefully with the baby becoming more mobile, you can pay a little more time with the cats.

 

Oh ,Jo...oh, Jo Your career is enough all on its own . Praying for your peace, your calm ...bless your heart ❤️ Also , I and kitties use Rescue Remedy ( one for people and one for kitties). May want to check it out as stop gap until you talk to and get other input . Sending tons more hugs

 

I've used them 8 years no problem.

 

I just realised about your username I flippin' well LOVE it. .

 

Haha! That's my sugar kitty's name! My hubby named him.

 

Hi Jo! Your baby is absolutely adorable!!

You have received some great advice. I too have a great animal communicator and when my civvie started to go out of the box, (only urination) he told her that he would just have go really badly and I was getting ready to feed him so he didn't want to leave the food......and that happened several times! Shortly after that I found out he was in Stage II CKD. It has been pretty good lately. He went 1 month in -between episodes this last time. Luckily for me, he always does it in front of me so it is definitely an attention getter.

Rescue remedy helps too.

Maybe you could sneak some just mommy and civvie time in, brush him for a few minutes, give him a treat, pet him up and tell him how much you love him.

One thing my Animal Communicator told me was that while he is sleeping, tell him telepathically that you need his inappropriate behavior to stop , that it is making you sad and upset. Remind him how much you love him. While they are sleeping, they are more likely to take in what is being said to them even though your words are not out loud. It is amazing how much that helps. You might have to repeat it. I do......

Good luck with it as I know how upsetting it is.

 

I too used the Feliway diffusers for long periods of time with no problems, other than a little oil on the wall above the diffuser. You can buy the Cat Attract powder, to add to your own litter if you don't want to change litter types. Changing litter can cause problems.

Do you have multiple boxes, at least three? He might not want to share anymore.

Love the pic of your little guy. Hi Jo.

 

2nd Cat Attract! And, I swear, I don't work for Dr. Elsey's, but it totally solved my previous grey cat's problems... Will not try another litter since then!

 

Another medication option for stress might be Zylkene - our girl is on it for her dementia (vet recommended it), and it seems to be working. Apparently it's also used for things like moving house, fireworks, etc. It's natural too if that makes a difference Wishing you all well!

 

Hello! I'm sorry to hear that your kitty is misbehaving. Gertrude was the same exact way and I think it was because she didn't like out other kitty. I went ahead a bought a whole new litter box just for her and put it in my carpeted room (That was a disaster). I also bought new litter called "The World's Best Kitty Litter" After all of that, Gertrude still didn't use the litter box and she started peeing in my bedroom. I figured she would want her own space. I got a giant doggy cage and I put a litter box, a bed, food and water in it. Whenever I leave the house or go to sleep, I lock her in there. Even if I'm home all day, I lock her in there for a couple of hours. Maybe giving her her own space will help. Spending more time with your kitty will probably help tons. Maybe when you put the baby down, you could play with your kitty for 5-10 minutes.

 

Thanks for your post. I bought a bunch of kitty toys, their favorite food and treats, and have been making a big effort to play pet and cuddle both kitties more after baby is in bed. so far so good. we will see...

 

I wish you the best of luck! Patience really is key here.

 

I haven't kept up on this thread but I think I recall something about wanting to go outside.
In two different apartments I screened off my balcony along with a carpeted walkway and ramp. Toronto is full of public housing apartments using chicken wire to keep pigeons out which is butt ugly. I used black window mesh and did a decent job, never any grief from the landlord. A more expensive and possibly impractical alternative is this. They can be big or small, predator and escape proof.