Thank you all very much.
I bought many books for my son and thought I would list them here in case anyone ever searches the message boards and pulls this chain up.
Lifetimes: the beautiful way to explain death to children by Bryan Mellonie and Robert Ingpen. This is one of my favorite - because I can read it without sobbing : ) . It talks about lifetimes of all living things and just introduces the concept of beginning, middle, and end of a lifetime. Drawings are beautiful, natural, muted.
When Dinosaurs Die: A Guide to Understanding Death by Laurie Krasny Brown and Marc Brown. This is my son's favorite. It is the brightest, very colorful, has cartoon dinosaurs (and their pets) and is probably the best for a young child. Right now I skip some of the text, as it is ALL new to my son, but will eventually read it all to him. Talks even handedly about people and pets dying. Shows a hamster funeral which captured my son's imagination and really engaged him.
When a Pet Dies by Fred Rogers. I felt better just seeing Mr Rogers on the cover, so there's that. The book has full color photographs throughout of children and their pets. I think this will really help my kid to relate to the story and to "see" himself in the meaning.
The Tenth Good Thing About Barney by Judith Viorst. This came v highly recomd from many people and is about a boy and the death of his cat Barney. Has one color line drawings throughout and once I can read it without sobbing, I'll see if my kid likes it.
The Fall of Freddy The Leaf - Leo Buscaglia. This book is probably a little long for a 4 year old and *I* was confused when the story talked about Life lasting forever, when I am looking to explain to my son that life does not last forever. So maybe better for older children and not as an introduction.
and for me - Talking About Death: A Dialogue Between Parent and Child by Earl A. Grollman. This book has a "story" in the front that you can read to your child. It seems to me as though you could just read that story and you'd have done a good job. It is very reassuring about feelings and clearly explains what it means to be dead. It has pencil drawings of children, parents, and pets. Frankly, I read this story and it was a good tool for my own grieving - I'd recommend it to any of us dealing with death. Like many others this book is mostly about people dying, so I will change the "people" to "someone we love" when I read it to my child.
I just wanted to say thank you to everyone here. The warmth and community and beauty that each of you bring to this place has been a touchstone for me - and so many others - at some of the most difficult times of my life. Your beautiful cats were all lucky to have found you. I wish each of you and your families peace and love.
Lori
