Jeddie's Independence (its been a week)

Status
Not open for further replies.
What a sad day. Not even sure how I can type this, but not typing it doesn't make it not true.

Jeddie flew home today after two very short months battling oral cancer. It was too soon. He turned just 12-1/2 on Sunday. And I am so saddened I can hardly see the keyboard through my tears, but I want to celebrate the almost three years that he was here with me.

I adopted him in Oct of 2009 because he was going to be PTS due to his diabetes diagnosis. He wasn't too keen on a new person and a new home at first and we had some issues, but he was a curious and gentle cat.

He was affectionate and loving, funny, and got exasperated over certain things (like testing sometimes). He became Beau's buddy about a year and a half ago. At first, when I walked into the room and they were grooming each other, they looked guilty. Soon it was old hat and they didn't care what I thought. I have many, many photos of them sleeping together all wrapped around each other, or grooming each other.

I have many, many photos of my handsome boy Jeddie. And will share some below.

Jeddie often met me at the door and ran out into the hall to either make an escape down the hallway or sharpen his claws on the neighbors welcome mat. He did it just two days ago. He would come tearing down the hallway from the bathroom and make a swinging "slide into home plate" on the rug after he pooped. I used to tell him I would run too if I left such a stinky thing in there. He loved the balcony and made a beeline for the catnip plants. He LOVED catnip. I am so glad I started growing it last year so he could enjoy it because this year he really couldn't too well. He loved to look out the windows at the birds, or the rain, or the snow. And he really loved me.

He got in my lap when I was reading or watching TV and curled up there for hours. He got on my lap when I was working on the computer and lay crosswise to fit. He purred all the time. My favorite thing, and the one I think I will miss the most, was when I got into bed and he came up and lay down facing me up by my face, put one paw on my arm and looked into my eyes and purred. I'm not sure how I will live without that.

I can't believe he is gone. It was just too fast. But he was starting to suffer and was not going to get better. He was a brave boy going through the biopsy surgery and all the chemo and vet visits. It just didn't work. Yesterday I took him to the oncologist and she said there was nothing more that could be done. He had already stopped allowing me to get enough calories into him, although for two week he was very good about it. Last night, when I fed him, his tumor bled - a lot. Then it stopped, but today, while I was in the shower or checking emails, it bled again and he had blood on his face and paws. He would not let me feed him at all, so it was time to set him free.

My friend, downstairs neighbor and cat sitter, drove me to the vet's office. Right before he came upstairs I held Jeddie for a few minutes and then he wanted down. He went right to the balcony door, so I let him out and he made a circuit of the balcony, sniffed a few plants and stuck his head into the catnip plants rubbing his chin on the leaves. When he came inside, I took him to the litter box and patted the side and he went right in and peed one last time.

At the vet's we had about a half hour with him and we both patted him and brushed him gently with a very soft bristle brush I just bought last weekend for him. I told him I loved him and he was a good boy. He purred a little and was quiet. I held him and he put his head on my arm. That was his last conscious thought - me holding him with his chin resting on my arm.

Fly free sweet boy. I will miss you so very, very much my little Jeddie-bin.

 
Re: Jeddie's Independence was a day early

He was such a beautiful boy! I am honestly typing through tears. I am so sorry, and many many hugs to you. I cant imagine how hard it is right now, but he is no longer suffering. You gave him the best life he could have and the best goodbye possible. He will be waiting for you on the other side, I'm sure of it!

Ive honestly been checking this board over and over the past couple of hours, looking for an update, but also as the hours kept passing I was hoping it was a good sign. I'm so sorry :cry:
 
Re: Jeddie's Independence was a day early

Fly free and land softly, sweet Jeddie.
 
Re: Jeddie's Independence was a day early

((((Sheila)))) Many tears falling here. Jeddie was a beautiful boy and we will all miss hearing about him. I am so sorry that he had to leave you so soon!! Sending you a ton of hugs and lighting a candle for Jeddie's journey.
Fly free sweet Jeddie and land ever so softly at the Bridge. You will truly be missed and never forgotten.
wings_cat

(((Sheila)))
Deepest sympathies,
Marcy & Klinger
 
Re: Jeddie's Independence was a day early

c03.gif


My deepest and most heartfelt sympathy and true understanding of how devastating the loss of Jeddie is. His years with you were not enough for you but for Jeddie it was a lifetime of love and companionship. We never know how much time we will be given when we adopt a kitty and sometimes, even though the time with them is short to us, we have to look back on the love and caring they were given which was the world to them. My heart also goes out to Beau......he will miss his buddy.

He was such a beautiful cat and this is my favorite picture of him....My heart goes out to you, Sheila

http://www.flickr.com/photos/28246908@N06/6613985891/
 
Re: Jeddie's Independence was a day early

tears here too. has me reliving Mr. chubbs. such a beautiful kitty jeddie is. I am so sorry for your loss. he will always be with you/ fly free jeddie. you will be in your mommas heart always
 
Re: Jeddie's Independence was a day early

Sheila, what a wonderful tribute to your boy. It had to have been so hard to write this. You were supposed to have many more years with him, and then all of a sudden the timeline changed. So many tears here...you know how I feel my friend. I can't imagine how hard this must have been for you today to take him in for that final decision. I am so glad your neighbor was there to help....to have to go through that by yourself. This whole thing, this cancer, that has happened to Jeddie is so unfair. I can't help but keep thinking that. Cancer is never fair, I know, but this with Jeddie....I am so sorry.

Fly pain free sweet Jeddie boy. I just know that there are many that have gone before you that are welcoming you right now even as I write this. Chase the butterflies and eat all the catnip that you want. And always remember that your Mama loved you so much.
 
Re: Jeddie's Independence was a day early

Sheila, I can't type through the tears. Pamela said everything so beautifully. I am so very very sorry.

Fly free Jeddie. We shall all miss you. There's a big grey kitty who's at the Bridge to welcome you. He never had a brother. Now he does.

rb_icon
 
Re: Jeddie's Independence was a day early

Sheila: I am heartbroken at your loss. You write so eloquently about Jeddie and it was clear you loved him with all your heart. By adopting Jeddie, already a diabetic cat, in 2009 you gave him nearly three more years of comfort and love that he would never have known otherwise. This is the greatest gift you could have given him. You are a special person Sheila, and I am sure that Jeddi is with you now in spirit. Prayers and hugs to you both.
 
Re: Jeddie's Independence was a day early

I think we are all typing through tears here .. I'm so sorry for your loss, for the sweet boy you let fly free today .. He knew true love and he knew that because of you ..
 
Re: Jeddie's Independence was a day early

More tears here for you Sheila. So very sorry to hear that Jeddie is gone. May you have many wonderful memories of him to comfort you now. Lots of love and hugs to you.
 
Re: Jeddie's Independence was a day early

(((((Sheila))))))

What a lovely tribute to your special guy. You wrote so eloquently, and the pictures really show how much he adored you and Beau. You gave him a life - and loved him with all your heart. You went to the edges of the earth for him, and even when it was difficult, he knew that you were trying to help him. He will always be a part of you.

We can't know why the lily has so brief a time to bloom
in the warmth of sunlight's kiss upon its face,
before it folds its fragrance in and bids the world good-night
to rest it's beauty in a gentler place.

But we can know that nothing that is loved is ever lost,
and no one who has ever touched a heart can really pass away,
because some beauty lingers on
in each memory of which they've been a part.
- Ellen Brenneman

Jeddie couldn't have had a more loving and dedicated mom. Peace.

Lu-Ann
 
Re: Jeddie's Independence was a day early

:cry: :cry: :cry:
I am sorry it happened so fast. The emptiness is so painful. I pray he finds a way to reach you from the Bridge to comfort you.

MJ & Donovan's & Butthead's spirits
 
Re: Jeddie's Independence was a day early

I'm so sorry Sheila. He was such a beautiful boy & I love the pics, especially the ones of him & Beau. You gave him 3 wonderful years & he loved you for it. We just never have enough time with them. Fly free Jeddie & land softly at the bridge.

wings_cat
 
Re: Jeddie's Independence was a day early

I'm so very sorry, Sheila.

While it's happening, the "busyness" of trying to save your beloved cat keeps your mind from spending too much time wandering in the painful thickets of sadness and hopelessness and desperation. You have all these things to do for him, things that are supposed to make everything better and restore life for you and him to normal. And when you first realize and admit to yourself that it's not going to work, that he isn't going to get better, waves of pain and sorrow come again and again to batter you. Somewhere along the way, you understand that you have the power to save him - not to prolong his life, but to spare him any further pain. And if you're very fortunate, you find some comfort, a sense of peace, in knowing that you can give him that gift, even though your heart is smashed into a million sad little pieces.

I want to think that that's true, that there's some deeper purpose to justify our losing the cats that we love so enormously, to make their absence from our lives somehow bearable. I want to think of Jeddie's spirit, still in your house, still snuggling with Beau, still sleeping beside you in memory and in dreams. Your beautiful orange and white boy, so loved and loving, and always with you.
 
Re: Jeddie's Independence was a day early

((((((((((((((((((((SHEILA))))))))))))))))))))))))

Sending many many cyber hugs. I am so very sorry that Jeddie had to leave so soon. Many tears are being shed here. Jeddie is flying free now, whole and healthy over the Rainbow Bridge. rb_icon
wings_cat
 
Re: Jeddie's Independence was a day early

I am so sorry Shelia. Jeddie was a beautiful kitty, beautiful in his looks and beautiful in his love for you. Your words about him are so touching and my heart aches for you. I understand this deep pain you feel knowing he is gone- except for the memories in your heart, where he will forever remain.

I wish for peace for you and for Beau, I'm sure he will feel the loss too. Many hugs to you. ((((((Shelia))))))
 
Re: Jeddie's Independence was a day early

(((((Sheila))))) Godspeed and Angelwings, dearest Jeddie. wings_cat
 
Re: Jeddie's Independence was a day early

what a beautiful tribute to Jeddie,
what a lovely and fantastic mum you ve made, you offered him 3 years of cuddles, care and love.
bye bye little Jeddie, fly free xxx
 
Re: Jeddie's Independence was a day early

((((((Sheila)))))) You made us feel like we were all on this journey with you. We feel your pain and share in your loss. Jeddie was special and beautiful and will be greatly missed. He is pain-free and the cancer is gone now.

Fly free sweet boy.
 
Re: Jeddie's Independence was a day early

(((Sheila))) I am sorry to hear about Jeddie. What a wonderful and caring mom you are. My prayers are with you. Fly free beautiful Jeddie.

Pattie
 
Re: Jeddie's Independence was a day early

Sheila...I am so very sorry to hear about Jeddie. (((hugs)))

Fly free dear one. Send whisker kisses in the night.

Kimmee
 
Re: Jeddie's Independence was a day early

Fly free sweet Jeddie.
May you soar high and wide and land softly.
You are so much loved and will be sorely missed.
 
Re: Jeddie's Independence was a day early

((((((Sheila))))))

Many tears here too. The love and affection you gave to each other will remain in your heart forever.

Fly free Jeddie wings_cat land ever so softly at the bridge.

Visit Beau and your mama soon and often.

Robin
 
Re: Jeddie's Independence was a day early

I am so sorry for your loss what a beautiful boy Jeddie was - every time I read of the passing of a cat here that I didn't "know" in anyway I always think "wish I'd known about them before they were gone" don't know why - but now as I sit with tears streaming down MY face thinking how painful this must be for you and I am sure contemplating the day I will feel that pain I am also thinking how lucky we all are to have these wonderful creatures in our lives - the love and joy the bring us is certainly worth the pain we will feel at losing them but it's hard to truly believe that at times like this. I read these farewell posts and cry and my husbands says "why do you do this to yourself?" and I tell him because some day I want to be able to let everyone know how sad I am to have lost Robbie - and hear kind words back - it's why this community is so special and why it helps save lives. Because we all CARE. Thinking of you and your memories of Jeddie and hoping they hold you thru this hard time.
 
Re: Jeddie's Independence was a day early

((((Sheila)))) I am so so sorry you had to let Jeddie go. I know your heart is breaking, but you released him from his suffering and he is free of pain now. Jeddie will always be in your heart. Thank you for sharing so many beautiful photos of him.

Fly Free Jeddie! wings_cat
 
Re: Jeddie's Independence was a day early

Oh my goodness. Too soon, he was a fighter. I am so very sorry for your loss.
Fly free dear sweet Jeddie!!
Love the pictures of the handsome fella

((hugs)) wings_cat
 
Re: Jeddie's Independence was a day early

Dear Sheila,

I always wish I knew the right words to make this time easier and take away that awful pain of losing someone so special. You and Jeddie will always be such a special mom and boy. What a team! So many wonderful memories and so many priceless photos.

I am sending you the very warmest of thoughts and hugs and am holding you very close to my heart!

Patti
 
Re: Jeddie's Independence was a day early

I am reading all of your posts - and appreciate them very, very much. I am too numb to comment right now, but I will!

Except - Yes, Hope, that is one of my favorites too and it would have been this year's FDMB calendar pic if it wasn't vertical.
 
Re: Jeddie's Independence was a day early

I'm so sorry about your beautiful boy. My heart goes out to you.
 
Re: Jeddie's Independence was a day early

I'm so sorry for you and Beau's loss. I'm glad you were able to give Jeddie such a wonderful and loving home like every kitty deserves.
 
Re: Jeddie's Independence was a day early

(((((Sheila)))))

No matter how much time we are given with our precious fur babies it is never enough and they leave us too soon. What we do with the time we are given is the most important thing and nobody could have made Jeddie's last few years on Earth better than you and his cuddle-buddy Beau. He crossed too soon but he crossed having known pure and unconditional love and your love for each other still live on until you meet again. I'm sure that's no comfort right now, but I hope in time it may be.

Fly free beautiful orinch Jeddie

wings_cat

While you wait for your mamabean to join you, may the catnip be tall, the mice slow and the kibble endless.
 
Re: Jeddie's Independence was a day early

I am so sorry to hear this news. It was obvious how much you and Beau both loved Jeddie. It's just so unfair and heartbreaking. Peace to you as you grieve for your beautiful boy.
 
Re: Jeddie's Independence was a day early

I'm so sorry for your loss of Jeddie...what a handsome and loving boy. You gave him many precious gifts and he, you. Thank you for sharing the beautiful pictures. Peace and prayers to you and Beau. And peace and prayers to Jeddie on his journey over the rainbow bridge.
:YMHUG: :YMHUG: wings_cat
 
Re: Jeddie's Independence was a day early

wings_cat rb_icon wings_cat

He was such a handsome boy. I am so very sorry for your loss.
 
Re: Jeddie's Independence was a day early

Sheila, I am sooooooooo very sorry to hear about Jeddie. You gave him the gift of life back in October of 2009, and did everything humanly possible to extend his life even further, but it sure sounds like he let you know recently he was ready to move on. Fill that hole in your heart with the beautiful memories you shared with us above. Jeddie will always be alive in your memories and in your heart. (((HUGS)))

Suze
 
Re: Jeddie's Independence was a day early

{{hugs}}

May your good memories help lessen grief.
 
Re: Jeddie's Independence was a day early

Sincerest sympathies to you and all who loved Jeddie.
 
Re: Jeddie's Independence was a day early

((((Sheila))))
I just saw your commemoration. What a beautiful tribute to a beautiful boy. I am so sorry for your loss. There is not question that Jeddie was well loved and you made the last gesture reflecting how much you cared.

Fly free and land softly, Jeddie.
 
Re: Jeddie's Independence was a day early

Oh, Sheila, I am so sorry for the loss of your handsome boy.

Hugs and Prayers -

Libby (& Hershey, too!)
 
Re: Jeddie's Independence was a day early

I have been reading, each day, your replies. Thank you - all of you for - your kind words and cyber hugs. This has been the hardest time for me. I still can't believe he is gone and not just "away" somewhere and will be back soon. Sigh. A thousands times, sigh....

Hope, thank you for the picture "card" with the kitty that looks just like Jeddie. I was so grief stricken that I only noticed that the second time I read your post. He probably looked just like that as a kitten.

I hope that Jeddie was met by the kitties I "knew" that had gone ahead of him: Charlotte (my civie), Gandalf, Scruffy, Musette, Mickey - and that they are cuddling and showing him where the catnip is. And that he, in turn, will welcome others, but none too soon though, please.

I plan to put together a memorial photo book of his photos - but I can't look at his photos without crying yet, so I am working on ones for my last two GAs. And I will write about him and all of his special, unique Jeddieness, but I can't do that yet either. I do want to get to the celebration of his life stage rather than the grief over his illness and loss.

If there is one piece of advice I would give each of you, it would be to make every day count by showing them love, giving them a kiss or chin scratches. But we all know that and somehow other things make us forget. So, please, if there is a special thing your cat(s) does or a special expression they get on their face or sleeping position, write it down, video it, photograph it.

I always thought I would have plenty of time to capture one special look he had. It was his excited expectation for treats, a sort of "for me!?" look. Now it only resides in my memory and I am afraid I will forget it over time as if fades. Just like the last scratch from him on my arm is fading now. You would not think I would want to associate that with him, but it is the last visible evidence of his touch.

Love your babies.
 
Re: Jeddie's Independence was a day early

(((((((((( Sheila ))))))))))
I'm so sorry to see this. It's just heartbreaking.

wings_cat Fly free, sweet Jeddie...
 
Re: Jeddie's Independence was a day early

It's probably exactly one week ago -now (5:00)

I wish I could say things are "better". My chiropractic office send a sympathy card last week and I just came from there where I thanked them for the card - and the tears came.

The horrible last few weeks are fading, but I feel like all the rest of the time he was here is also. Like I imagined his whole existence. Usually I look through photos and remember all the times we shared when one of my cats dies, but I can't do that (yet) without just completely falling apart.

As fast as those last 6 weeks sped by (faster and faster, it seemed) toward the inevitable end, the last week has crawled. The other cats still seem at loose ends, somewhat subdued, but the thing I focus on is that for the first time in his life, Beau is letting me rub his belly. He never let me before - although he was a big tease about it showing me his belly and then biting me (not too hard) when I touched it. Jeddie, on the other hand was a big belly rubbing kind of guy. He loved it. Makes you wonder doesn't it?
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top