12/5 China PMPS 171,+4 101

last night's late, sad condo

Well today we woke to rain, and fog..and rain..and more fog, so other than getting out to get brunch and then taking DM to get her hair done, we're going to have a lazy afternoon in the hotel I think.

I reduced China last night...the whole time we were at the show last night, I kept thinking about how low she'd been at PMPS and history of running low under stress...and wondering if I could find an emergency vet if I came back to the hotel and she was in crisis. I don't usually worry like that but I guess the unexpected death of my drooler has me on edge.

I'm having a real hard time with Peaches's death yesterday. Peaches came to me as an abused yellow lab mix puppy of about 6 months. Just bringing my hand down to pet her sent her into a cower. She never did get over her terrible fear of men, so it's not hard to figure out who abused her. She gradually figured out that I would never hurt her and learned to trust me. I feel like I've violated that trust now, although at a logical level, I understand I couldn't have known (nobody could) but all I can picture is that poor terrified dog and how horrible her last few minutes on earth had to be. Knowing the last 10 or so years of her life were good ones somehow isn't helping with the guilt I feel of leaving her behind

The lady who owns/runs the kennel offered to have her cremated (which tells me she probably died of smoke inhalation) and wanted to send her back to me in a nice urn. At the time (since we were in the theater with the show about to start) I said that would be fine, but the idea of dropping off a live dog and having only her ashes returned to me is VERY hard to take

More tears :cry: :cry:

Re: 12/5 China AMPS 151,+4 141,+6 104

{{{Chris}}}

There really are no words to comfort you. I knew you would be thinking about Peaches' last minutes, and I think that's natural, but try not to blame yourself. It doesn't help her, or you. Try hard to focus on the wonderful life she had with you. You are an incredible mamabean and that doggie was very blessed to have been yours.

It looks like China and Cinco are both surfing blue. Nice, safe numbers are good.

Sending lots of comfort vines and hugs. :YMHUG: :YMHUG: :YMHUG:

Re: 12/5 China AMPS 151,+4 141,+6 104,+10 167

I'm glad China is surfing safely for you. I agreen with Tricia. Focus on the great life you gave Peaches. You could have never known what would happen. Sending prayers and hugs. :YMHUG: :YMHUG:

Re: 12/5 China AMPS 151,+4 141,+6 104,+10 167

You've got that exactly right Tricia...I do understand it won't bring her back, but it's really hard not to think about considering the circumstances

I'm also trying not to let DM see me upset. Thank God we have separate rooms because it lets me get away and be by myself. I don't want her to take any of the blame on herself either, and I know she would try.

I think she knows I can take or leave Branson. It's never been one of my favorite places, but it sure is one of hers, and she knows I'd never have come if it weren't for her.

Tonight's our last show (I think) and then we're going to go through a special Christmas Lights "drive through" (for $15 a car, it better be good!) I just hope the fog isn't so bad we can't see anything

We'll be coming home sometime tomorrow...at least I'll have a better internet connection then. The internet at this hotel is really awful

I'm liking China's numbers much better today considering we're going to be gone several hours tonight right after PMPS...I'll give her the .75 tonight and probably tomorrow morning (I'll see where she's at then) and then return her to the 1 unit dose tomorrow night

Re: 12/5 China AMPS 151,+4 141,+6 104,+10 167

More :YMHUG: :YMHUG: :YMHUG: ...I can't even begin to imagine the grief you are experience, Chris, but please do remember that Peaches knows how much you love her, and she knows you gave her THE best life. I am sure her love is shining down on you right now.

Continued prayers...and safe travels to you.

Re: 12/5 China AMPS 151,+4 141,+6 104,+10 167

Chris, my heart breaks for what you're going through. All the unknowns. But one thing is certain. You saved Peaches and gave her ten years of the best life she could have had. Nothing changes that. Somewhere, just out of sight but certainly not out of mind, I'm sure she's doing that lab wag and sending hug lab love energy. Feel her. She's with you. Always will be. With you, loving you.

For a traveling girl, China's looking good. Wishes for safe travels home.

Marilyn and Polly

Re: 12/5 China AMPS 151,+4 141,+6 104,+10 167

Chris,
I know its hard, but please try not to blame yourself. You gave Peaches the best years of her life.
She will send you sign to let you know she is o.k. and that she loves you very very much.
I wish I had more words of comfort. My heart breaks for you. I write this as tears are running down my cheeks.
Paula :YMHUG:

Re: 12/5 China AMPS 151,+4 141,+6 104,+10 167

(((((Christ))))) My heart is breaking for you as well, but please know this, nobody could have predicted what would happen here- there are no crystal balls! And as Marilyn pointed out so eloquently, you absolutely saved Peaches and gave her a life full of love and comfort! Sending continuing prayers to you and a safe trip home!

Re: 12/5 China AMPS 151,+4 141,+6 104,+10 167

(((Chris))), you've been on my mind today ~ still stunned from the sad news. I can't even imagine...
Sending you lots of hugs.
:YMHUG: :YMHUG: :YMHUG:
I'm glad China is having another great day.

Thank you everybody for your words of support and caring.

They have all been much appreciated.

China's doing great (considering she's on a reduced dose) and tomorrow we head home.

Here's hoping she has a good trip and we don't get run over by any more 18 wheelers!

(((((((Chris)))))))

I'm just catching up and read your condo from yesterday and I am so, so very sorry. Mike and I send our very deepest condoences in the very tragic loss of your sweet doggy, Peaches. You must not blame yourself. You took her to a place that you felt would be safe and she would be protected. You had no way of knowing. It is sad and unfortunate that fires can happen.....even in our homes (anti-jinx). Even if you had left her at home and found someone to take care of her there, a tragic accident could happen.

I wish there was someting we could all do for you to ease your pain and grief. :YMHUG: :YMHUG: :YMHUG:

Oh Chris... I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't say anything new that hasn't been said in prior posts. I agree with what everyone else has said. I wish I could give you a real hug right now but all I can offer is a virtual hug.

I know there are no words to comfort but know that we all are giving you cyber hugs and trying to support you in any way that we can. :YMHUG: :YMHUG: :YMHUG: :YMHUG: :YMHUG: :YMHUG: :YMHUG:

Surf safely dear China.