5/30 Donovan / Butthead :'( update

previous condo: http://www.felinediabetes.com/FDMB/viewtopic.php?f=9&t=43750

It was a week ago on Saturday that Butthead left. I had planned to post then, but just couldn’t do it. The exact time of his passing was exceptionally difficult. I don’t want to remember those last moments. I want to think of him happy and healthy, riding in the car, shaking his tail and making happy feet, eating grass, and purring that beautiful purr. I hate seeing his empty car seat. I hate this beautiful weather because I know Butthead would love to be outside, and I still automatically think "Oh, I need to take Butthead out today", but I can't. I hate 10 pm at night since that's when he got his meds. More often than not, he’d come looking for me shortly beforehand. If it was 9:45, I’d say “15 more minutes, Butthead”, and he’d wander off. I hate looking at the place where he usually slept at night for the past few months. I would always find him before I went to bed and kiss his sweet head goodnight. I hate catching a glimpse of a cat out of the corner of my eye, and it’s not him. I want it to be him…

Butthead will be the first cat I ever “brought home” after the fact. The place where he is now is backlogged, so he won’t be coming home for several weeks. I have been shopping for an urn. I don’t want to be shopping for an urn. But I think I want one that I can put photos on. I also found someone who makes custom ceramic urns and paints them, and in looking at her other work, I believe she can capture the essence of Butthead. I have heard that once they are home again, it gets better ("better" being relative). I hope so. Yesterday I pulled out the very first photos I received of Butthead from his breeder. This was back when digital cameras and scanners were not commonplace, so you had to wait for film to be processed and printed and sent in the regular mail. Here he is at 4 weeks old:



and his two littermate brothers:


I have more photos, and I hope you'll indulge me if I post them later. Butthead was a true treasure.

Donovan: his dental surgery is on Thursday. I'm praying so hard that it goes well. I cannot imagine losing him too :cry:. I just can't. It is still very difficult for me to read the comments in Butthead's last condo, but I hope to reply to each of you soon. I do try to remember the wonderful times I had with Butthead, but it also makes me miss him more.

MJ&Donovan

oh mj, i have been thinking of you so much. there is simply no easy way through this, it just takes time for the pain to ease. i love the picture of Butthead as a baby! you come here and share as much as you can. it's a-ok. we understand.

we'll all be thinking of donnie on Thursday and cheering for him!

I can understand your continued grief over losing Butthead. I never once held him or saw him in person and I still tear up when I think of him. He was so special, you didn't need to know him "in person," his personality was so strong it radiated out from his videos and pictures. He truly was a special cat, but he'll never be gone completely because he will be forever in your heart, in a lot of our hearts. He was lucky to have you as you were to have him.

I'm going to be praying faithfully for Donovan that he gets through his dental with no problems. He'll be fine. You'll be fine, really!!!

MJ: I have been thinking so much of you and thought perhaps you would have a lot of pms so wanted to wait a bit when I knew things would get quieter but you would still need support. Butthead was so beautiful.....as a kitten and as an adult and thank you so much for sharing him with us all. It is so evident what a wonderful soulmate he is to you and he will always be. I know there is no healing or comfort for this pain and loss you have. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us and trusting us with your pain and sorrow. We all wish we could do something but .......the one thing that would make you feel better can't be done. Just know that he IS there with you. If you think you see him, it is because you do...because he IS there. If you think you feel him on your pillow, he IS there.

Keeping you all in our prayers and sending extra special prayers to Donny for Thursday.

mj... i think of you daily, wonder how you are. though i think i know. it is so tough, you look everywhere for them, then you remember. you feel their presence, but you can't touch. everything you see is a reminder. In time the grief you feel will lessen, will be replaced by the warmth of memories. it just takes time.... he will be forever in your heart, watching over you.

The photos were wonderful. thanks for sharing them.

I will be thinking of Donny when he has his dental surgery. I hope for a successful one, I am sure that it will be. We all will be there with you on that day.

I have kept you in my prayers each and every day....I know what you mean about looking at places and being reminded of Butthead....when Rocket goes...the entire place is 'custom' to fit his needs....

I know you miss him but know he is in a good place....he was in a good place when you cared for him...now that care has been handed over to someone else...so all is good...i think...

I think it is good to look at urns that will capture who Butthead is/was....and yes....i've been told it will be 'better' once you have Butthead back with you....sorry it is taking a long time....

Will add Donovan to my list of prayers for a good outcome on Thursday's dental....I know you are worried...rightfully so....

((((MJ))))

the pictures are beautiful......and as always even as a kitten he had this grace about him....

not sure if you know what happened to his littermate brothers....

(((MJ)))
I am so sorry. He is so beautiful. Although never meeting him in person I feel as though I have. You have taken us on your journey and made us feel as if we were riding in the car with Butthead or running in the grass with him......I fell in love with that little guy through his pictures and videos.

I smile everytime I think of his name. I would love to see more pictures of him.

I will be thinking of Donovan and you on Thursday.

Butthead is so gorgeous, I am so sorry for your pain. I pray you find some peace and comfort when he comes home to you.

MJ, lots of caring thoughts and hugs. I know it is so painful right now. Butthead looks like a little dollbaby in those kitten photos. I so enjoyed the videos and your sharing him with us. I'll be thinking good thoughts and prayers for Donovan's dental day. Hugs.

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. :sad: I've been ther and it's so tough. I had no other pets when Midora died, but I am so glad you have Donovan to snuggle with.
I don't get how the crematory can be so backlogged it will take you weeks to get him back. I had a private cremation for midora and had her in a week. in the meantime I looked for urns, but a close friend had insisted on making a box for her; while beautiful & a sweet gesture, it's made of fabric, so Midora is still in her tin, in a bag, in the box Rita made....the bax is currently on top of my stereo, next to a frame I found at Target that has the Rainbow Bridge poem the crematory gave me, and 3 photos of her throughout her life. There is also a little tea light candle holder that my friend also gave me, and I light a candle for my baby every once & awile.

Cedric sends his hugs and I send best wishes/good luck for Donovan later this week.

When my George (GA) passed, my dearest friends came to visit. One of them is an amateur photographer and as a housewarming gift, they brought a framed photo of George. (Like Butthead, George was very special.) That photo hangs in a place where I'm the only one who really notices it but I see it often. At first, it brought tears. Now, it brings a bittersweet smile.

(((((MJ))))) ((((((Donovan))))))) The dental will go just fine and your boy will be home with you this afternoon. He will be so happy to be home. I would have anxiety too. Hang in there.

I wrote you a big post about Butthead but I don't want to make you sad. I just want to let you know I understand. And having Maverick home healed my worst pain. I had to reorganize the living room because everywhere I looked I expected him to be there and my heart kept breaking when he wasn't. Someone posted this to Maverick's angel post and it meant so much to me. And I received it in a card afterwards also.

Look not where I was
For I am not there
My spirit is free
I am everywhere

In the air that you breathe
In the sounds that you hear
Don't cry for me Mom
My spirit is near

I'll watch for you
From the other side
I'll be the one running
New friends by my side

Smile at my memory
Remember in your heart
This isn't the end
It's a brand new start

((((((((((((((MJ))))))))))))))

"Baby Butthead" made me laugh and smile. He is bouncing hearts in his baby picture and so do his litter mates. He is absolutely adorable!!!! Your heart must have absolutely melted when you met him the first time. Big hugs to you.

(((MJ))) What a precious kitten Butthead was. I love seeing his pictures. I am nearing the two week mark with Emily's loss, and I am waiting for her to come home. There is a special space next to Bear Man for her, with photos, flowers, and her beloved nanner lemon. I have found that it becomes, if not better, then different with time. It helps to have a community like this to share photos and memories, and I hope that it gives you solace to do that here. From Butthead's photos and movies, I can see that he was a very special kitty, and I know that his passing has left a huge hole in your life. My thoughts are with you.

{{{{{{{{{{MJ & DONOVAN & BUTTHEAD'S SPIRIT}}}}}}}}}} Butthead will always be beside you, no matter what. They say that time heals everything, but who's to really know. He'll always stay alive in your memories, and in your heart.

((((((((MJ)))))))) I am going through this with you and feel the same way as you do..I do remember the day he passed & I found him here in the house. But now he is home with us and it does feel right-We got a nice urn for him and he is nearby us all the time.-We have had many visits from him, which makes us feel better..I feel the emptiness in my heart as you do, after 15 years, how could that not be?

I watch over Moonie like a hawk, and shower her with all the love I have...It also helps.
I have no words to tell you how to help what you feel, but we both Must grieve, it is the natural thing to do when we lose someone we love..I will never forget him, I cherish the 15 yrs. we had together, he taught me so much..But Moonie is here, and she deserves all I can give her too..I still cry, hurt & miss him, but my friend, sadly Life does go on as we must....I hope the pain lessens with time. You will feel better when he is there with you--Sending comfort Hugs....

First, I will keep Donovan in my thoughts on his dental day. I hope it will be an easy, no issues type of day for him and you.

Now imagine my arms are wrapping you in understanding and comfort about Butthead. From the minute I heard about him, he touched my heart and made me smile. His name was the very first thing that caused big grins and then his adorable photographs. The sweet nature of this kitty was a joy to witness as we watched his adventures in videos. I felt honored that you shared a little bit of him with us. He was such a love. I truly hope it will help ease your pain a tiny bit if you continue to share him with us. I know I love hearing about him and seeing his photographs, even if they cause tears for many of us.
It is because we understand and we care about him, about Donovan, and mostly we care about you.

((((((((MJ))))))))

You all are incredible. Your support means more to me than you could possibly know.
I shouldn't have started to read your replies since I'm at work and now crying, but most people are at lunch now. Eh, who cares.

I thought I remembered Butthead's brother "Bear" going to someone in Canada, but I googled and found this:
http://home.earthlink.net/~linancifolds/ff.html. The owner is listed as Dr. Julia Solomon, and google indicates she might be in AZ. I did email Butthead's breeder after he passed, but have not received a reply. She's retired and not very active on the internetz :?

OK, gotta dry my eyes and get through the day. More later.

Just to clarify, Donny's had his dental already, and Thursday is surgery with a specialist to remove whatever needs to come out. Won't know how extensive that is until he's under and they do x-rays/explore more...

{{{{{{{{{{MJ, Donovan & Butthead's Spirit}}}}}}}}}}

((MJ))
Your posts always bring tears to my eyes.
I love the pictures of Butthead and I can still see playing in my mind the video
of him licking up the baby food from the jar as you held it in the car.
Watching him sitting in his little harness, watching the cars go by....
What a very special, special man he is and you are truly blessed to have been
owned by him.
My heart hurts knowing the pain you are in.
My Sasha crossed the bridge 8 years ago and she will always and forever
be my special girl. It is what it is. Love that nothing else can be compared to.

Many many hugs for you and prayers for your Donny's surgery.

Oh MJ I'm so sorry .. I've been stopping by when I could to check on how things are going with your family and am heart broken to hear the news.

It's obvious from the pictures and videos I've seen that Butthead was a pretty special guy.. but I already knew it anyways.. I'm pretty sure the kitties line up for a chance to get to be one of the lucky ones who gets you for a human.

*hugs*

MJ, I know how hard it is to wait for your Butthead to be home, but he will be there very soon. Of course that sweet guy is home already, just a blink away, watching over you and Donny and sending love to his family. He was such a special kitty and he touched all our hearts. Thank you for all the pictures and videos. He had so much charm and personality. It is clear how much he was loved. Cherish your wonderful memories and take comfort that Butthead is now free of pain and is in a happy place surrounded by friends. He has Gone Ahead, but he is always with you.

Many hugs to you and Donny, and we wish Donny a good dental surgery on Thursday. We will be thinking good thoughts.

Ella & Rusty

(((((Tears)))))

as promised...

Absolutely beautiful photos!, with a face that will capture your heart. Thank you again for sharing!

I hope you are doing OK MJ, we all think of you daily.

So sweet! Look at that pink nose and those pink toes! (((MJ))).

Baby Butthead pictures is what my heart needed. What an adorable sweet precious kitten he was. Do you know where abouts in Canada his brother is?
Keeping you in my thoughts and close to my heart MJ.

What beautiful pictures of Butthead MJ! He was so precious even as a kitten. Think about you often and hope you are doing ok.

MJ-

I am so terribly late in seeing this....

and can't begin to tell you how deeply sorrowful I am to see that we've lost our little hero Butthead.

holding you and donny very close in my heart...

celi