GA 10/9 Alice AMPS HI.... goodbye day

https://www.felinediabetes.com/FDMB/threads/10-8-alice-amps-hi-pm-162-the-end-tomorrow.236563/

I didn’t shoot last night.
Over the night she decided she would eat friskies beef with extra gravy. First time I haven’t had to syringe. This morning she was HI again so I shot 0.75 which is higher than her normal dose was but I just want her to be comfy today and she’s getting higher carb food today anyway.

Last night was day 4 with this new antibiotic. And though she looks weak and worn out and her body is so dehydrated that it sucked up 300mL fluids like it was nothing....

it’s still really hard not to wonder if there is a shred of hope for some degree of recovery.

we cuddled all night. I dozed off a couple times, out her down on the floor (blankets and mats) a couple times, out her in the little box, changed her towels she peed on in bed next to me. When she’s on the floor she hangs in the water fountain for awhile.


She looks for sure as tired as anyone with all these things happening would be. She can’t pass this stool she has been working on since yesterday, she is starving and needs calories. I wish that I had upped her insulin and tried feeding her higher r wen before I was worried about her IBD.

She looks weak but she doesn’t seem quite as weak today. I’m just so confused. It’s back and forth and my heart is back and forth. I finally stopped crying and kind of accept it but I don’t want to kill her if she is going to be a little better, if she has some more decent time left that I could give her (if I nursed her back to a better state, obviously she still needs help).

Haven’t been giving any phosphorous binder with her gravy food. Wonder if I should.

got about 50mL in this morning, she was wiggly. I can try again later today. I’ll eventually hear from the vet about their schedule. If I don’t euthanize today then I’ll need a plan over the weekend in case she needs it done then.

 

Maybe wait???

 

Cassandra,

My heart is with you during this very difficult time.

It sounds like you are at a painful and very common place when we reach the end of life—for ourselves or for our loved ones. It is perfectly normal to feel confused when we reach a place in this process where we are holding on yet letting go at the same time. It is instinctive and natural for us to want to live and to want our loved ones to live even when faced with an illness that robs us or them of the quality of life we want so badly to restore. It is normal, even at this point, to feel a sense of hope....hope for a peaceful day, hope that answers regarding the right thing to do come to you.

I will pray for you as you go through this process. Like grief itself it is hard and emotions are all over the place. Know that you have done everything possible there is you could do given the illnesses involved. I am hoping that your vets are able to be very clear & confirm what is and isn’t possible at this point in the disease process in order for you to feel some sense of peace in knowing that this loss is because of the disease and not because of your actions or decision to grant peace & dignity.

Thoughts, prayers, much love & peace to you and your prescious Alice. Everyone is here for you ❤️

 

Phosphorus binder (aluminum hydrox.) can cause constipation if the dose is too high. If she is not eating, no phos binder.

It is not going to be an easy day. Hold her close.

 

You and Alice are in my thoughts. Sending you strength and love as you wrestle with this difficult decision.

 

The vet will be here in three hours or less

 

Big hug from across the way and love to both of you

 

Big hugs Cassandra

 

You’ve got endless people here....we are with you in spirit ❤️❤️

Sweet, sweet baby......please give her some soft pets from me!

 

Thinking of you and your beloved girl today and wishing you comfort.

You're a very good kitty, Alice Meowliss.

 

Sending prayers.

 

Snuggle and love her. Tell her soon she will be at peace and free from the ailing body but her spirit will always be with you.

 

You are NOT "killing her". Killing is done out of malice, hate and ignorance.

You are setting her free from a body that has failed. You are setting her free from pain and disability. You are setting her free out of your profound love for her.

There is a huge difference.

 

I'm glad you are able to have the vet come to you so you can be with her. I know it's not easy, but you are doing the loving thing in letting her go so she won't suffer. Sending prayers.

 

Cassandra ur putting her at peace xoxoxoxo

 

Hugs, Cassandra Fly sweet Alice

 

It is an utterly painful, gut wrenching but loving decision. The ultimate act of love toward her. Sending you comfort and strength. My thoughts are with you both.

 

Lots of love and comfort being sent

 

Thinking of you and Alice tonight.

 

You're saving her from having a bad, painful death. You're not killing her. You're freeing her from suffering.

I'm sorry she couldn't get better. You tried so hard for her and loved her so much. I know she loved you too.

 

I’m so sorry you are going through this, I can’t even imagine. Thinking of you and your baby tonight. Fly free, sweet Alice.

 

You have given her every chance possible, Cassandra. I've been thinking about you two all day, even tried posting a few times but couldn't. Finally had to cry it out for a while, we love Alice so.
You are being very merciful to her. Hugs and thinking of you. You are the best cat mom.

 

I set up a video chat so some friends could say goodbye. We spent a couple hours outside, something we never do. It’s a beautiful day.


(that was her bio mama and the kitten she had before Alice and Oz)


I love you Alice. Always. ∞

 

I thought I posted that earlier, right before the vet got here.

Alice is gone now.

I love you baby.

 

You deserve a beautiful, peaceful rest Alice. Be free little one.

 

Oh sweet thing...I'm so sorry for your pain as you release Alice from this life. I know how tough this is...but I support your decision to allow her to fly free and rest now. She's given all she can and now it's time to let her go and chase those butterflies...as we all must at some point in our lives, let that precious soul fly free and be at peace, no pain, only peaceful slumber.

Please try to rest now, you've had a very difficult time of it as well...

Sending you my thoughts, support and prayers at this time.

 

Fly free sweet Alice. Sending prayers.

 

((((Cassandra)))) I am so sorry it was Alice’s time. She had a lovely last day with you. That memory will help you in the days to come.
There is a reason it is called setting them free. It is the hardest gift of all we have to give. Fly free Alice.

Take care of yourself Cassandra. You have dealing with a lot lately, with intensive caregiving of all Alice’s issues. I hope your body lets you sleep now.

 

I'm so sorry Cassandra. No matter how long we have them, it's never long enough. If I thought there was anything else you could have done to save her, I would have been right there fighting along with you to give her that chance, but it was pretty clear that her little body had fought it's last fight.

The pain you feel now is something nobody else can know. Most of us have had to release a beloved pet but each person's pain is their own. I can tell you that as much as it hurts right now, it will get better but there will be times when it all seems like it's too much to bear.

Lean on the people here. We may not understand exactly what you're going through, but we'll be here to listen, cry along with you, scream in anger at the unfairness of it all and gradually, slowly, move into acceptance and peace.

Fly free sweet Alice and land softly. There are lots of friends at the Bridge to welcome you tonight.

 

I'm so sorry for your loss.

 

I am so sorry Cassandra for your loss, you went above and beyond for her and what a beautiful day you gave her. We are here for you and know in your heart u did the right thing for her. Fly free sweet Alice and land gently

 

Cassandra – you've gone above and beyond in your care for Alice and she knew. Never forget that. Do remember to look after yourself in the coming days.

 

Cassandra
You gave precious Alice such a beautiful last day. Even in her final moments, you made sure she knew she was so loved. I'm so sorry she has gone to the bridge. I am crying with you over here.
Be kind to yourself and take care of yourself. You are her amazing mama and she will always be watching over you.
Fly free baby girl. Send your mama a sign soon please.

 

What a wonderful gift you gave to sweet, sweet Alice. Her outside day, and setting her little kitty soul free to fly pain free & with so, so much love. My heart goes out to you. Take extra care of yourself in the coming days.

 

Such love for Alice—she is free ❤️ and all I could picture when I saw the kitten on that iPod was Alice young again, no illness, no pain and her beautiful spirit very much alive. My prayers are with you and I hope Alice’s spirit and love, that will always be with you, will help provide some peace during this very painful time.

 

From one Alice to the other Alice, peace be with you.
Cassandra you did everything possible. I am in awe at your commitment to dear Alice Meowliss and she had a lovely goodbye.
I'm sure they take the love with them Your fun memories will help as time passes.

 

2006-07-16 — 2020-10-09
Alice “Meowliss” Æon Cat



Sleep well.

 

So sorry Cassandra Alice was blessed to have you as her Mama Bean Fly Free Pretty Little Girl

 

Thank you from the bottom of my heart to
@Chris & China (GA) and @THH
And Diabetic Cats in Need

for all the love and care and hard work, and extra time you gave us together

and thank you to everyone who donates to DCIN, past, present, future.

We wouldn’t have today without your love and kindness.


“May I give freely and wisely, all that I have been given.”

 

Oh, Cassandra, I'm so so sorry.

 

I am so sorry Cassandra. It is so heartbreaking saying goodbye. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Fly free sweet Alice. it is so apparent you were well loved & will be missed so much

 

I'm so sorry for the loss of your beautiful furbaby. I've been thinking of the two of you all day. Alice crossed Rainbow Bridge knowing she was loved and deeply cared for. You gave her a loving gift, setting her free from pain and suffering. No matter how much it hurts us, and it always does immensely, you did right by her.

Take care of yourself in the coming days and weeks. Take comfort in your fond memories of your years together.

Rest easy, beautiful girl

 

I am deeply saddened that you had to say goodbye to your sweet, beautiful little Alice. The two of you fought so hard to stay together.

Your care and devotion gave her a long life, filled with warmth and joy. Today you gave her the gift of passing in the gentle embrace of your love, a final act of great kindness.

Even as you grieve, I hope you find peace and renewal.

 

I am so sorry for your loss Please know I am thinking about you and Alice today. Your mutual love and devotion for each other is so beautiful and special. I’m sure she knew fully how loved she was and I hope you know how much love Alice has for you too

I am so sorry that it was her time to go...spread your little angel wings Alice

 

Oh Cassandra I’m so very sorry
Fly Free Sweet Alice, you are loved

 

I’m so sorry for your loss

 

I feel so sorry for you Cassandra!

You gave your little girl the most wonderful life full of love and care; it could not have been better!
Now, no more pain for sweet Alice who will always be with you!

 

(((((Cassandra))))
So many of us have been in your shoes. Helping our kitties to cross the Bridge was the hardest decision I ever had to make. Ultimately, Gabby was failing. The insulin wasn't really helping an her numbers were all over the place. She was on all sorts of meds, she was in heart and kidney failure. It was time. Not asking the vet to help her cross would have been for me, not for her. What you chose was a final act of love and compassion. Alice will have a place in your heart forever and never be truly gone.

We honor all of our kitties who have made the trip across the Bridge at Halloween.

 

Oh Cassandra, I am so so sorry for your loss, Alice was so lucky to have you, the two of you fought so hard to have another year together, and now she has earned her rest. I am so proud of you for helping her Cross the rainbow bridge where she will no longer be suffering.

Warm thoughts to you, you made a difficult but very caring decision.

Alice, you will be so missed, fly free and land softly little baby

 

Love by another name is Cassandra and Alice. I am so sorry this part of the journey has come to its end but in another life you two will start a new journey of love and complete understanding.
May Alice in her spirit self stay nestled in your heart forever and ever.
My heart breaks for you as it is clear you shared a love never to be divided.
jeanne

 

My heart is so sad for you. However, you had very smart people guiding you every step of the way so I know you did the right thing for Alice. You gave her one last loving gift by setting her free. I know that she is bragging about you now in kitty heaven.

 

It's so hard. We're so sorry Cassandra.

 

Cassandra my heart aches for you.
You did everything you could for that precious baby.
I let my kitty Perry go this past Tuesday, I didn't want to
but I didn't want him to suffer anymore.
Looking at those pics had me balling my eyes out.
She is now free from all the pain and is flying high
You were the best momma Alice could ever have and I'm sure she knew you loved
her like crazy and that she loved you to bits.
I'm so very sorry,
Fly high sweet Alice you will always be remembered

Gentle hugs for you Cassandra ♥♥