Friday Five: Swimming/water sports

1. Can you swim? When did you learn?
2. Preferred venue: river, lake, ocean, swimming pool?
3. Do you enjoy water skiing/jet skiing, etc?
4. Do you get freaked out about things that live in the water while you're swimming?
5. Do you always wear a life jacket while out on the water (and not swimming)?

 

1. Can you swim? When did you learn? Yes, no memory of it, but pretty sure like all the other kids in my family. Got thrown in the lake with the advice of "Good Luck"
2. Preferred venue: river, lake, ocean, swimming pool? River or Lake - not in FL
3. Do you enjoy water skiing/jet skiing, etc? Yes - all water sports are good water sports
4. Do you get freaked out about things that live in the water while you're swimming? Heck yeah!! I live in FL and there are MANY critters in the water/banks of any water area.
5. Do you always wear a life jacket while out on the water (and not swimming)? Nope. Probably not so smart, but when you've been around water/boats you tend to get comfy.

 

1. Can you swim? When did you learn? Yep - was terrified as a kid of the deep end of the pool, and oddly ended up learning to swim at a lake over the summer. Not sure why that didn't terrify me, but somehow it clicked for me. Can't swim underwater though, I think it's a claustrophobia thing or something, and I don't do any of the strokes correctly, but I love swimming.

2. Preferred venue: river, lake, ocean, swimming pool? Lake! River I did once right in front of the DON'T SWIM HERE signs (we were desperately hot & tired after a 17 mile hike) til we started speculating on the reasons for the sign and then were fighting each other for who could get out of the water first. :lol: Ocean is a little scary, and took a lot of beatings as a kid coming in past the waves crashing, so not too big on that anymore. Plus the Pacific out here at least is anything but pacific, and darned cold too! Ocean would be awesome though in the right location - I love the shallow water & ripply sand under foot... ahhh, now I want to go on vacation!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

3. Do you enjoy water skiing/jet skiing, etc? No. Tried water skiing several times and never got the hang of it, and swallowed a heck of a lot of gnarly water. No interest in trying again. Love things like canoeing & sailing. Sailboarded once which was pretty cool, but a LOT of work for wimp like me. :lol: My dream would be to live near a not-too-scary lake and have a little sailboat of my own - not anything big, just a tiny one with easy setup, etc.

4. Do you get freaked out about things that live in the water while you're swimming? Oh yeah! There's sharks in those swimming pools, I KNOW it!!!

5. Do you always wear a life jacket while out on the water (and not swimming)? Haven't been out in years, but if it's required, yeah.

 

Sarah, how are you doing? I've been thinking of you a lot this week. Hope you're taking it easy.

 

1. Can you swim? When did you learn?

not properly but i can hold my own. i taught myself basically. flipped over on my back one day and started floating and went from there.

2. Preferred venue: river, lake, ocean, swimming pool?

swimming pool definitely. i grew up swimming in creeks and ponds and the occasional lake and to be honest, it's much nicer not having to worry about crawdads getting you or staying on guard for snakes to come up, etc....

3. Do you enjoy water skiing/jet skiing, etc?

absolutely not! can't stand uncontrolled water in my face. thus the "not properly" comment above in regards to being able to swim. i do NOT put my face under the water when swimming breast stroke or butterfly or any of those. i can swim under water no problem as long as i'm holding my nose or have some damn tight nose plugs but for some reason i suck water right up my nose if it's not plugged. can't stand it.

4. Do you get freaked out about things that live in the water while you're swimming?

like i said, i grew up with that stuff so as long as it doesn't take me by too much surprise i would say i don't get freaked out by it but when i'm swimming i want to relax, not be on guard for creatures.

i'll never forget the time we were swimming in a neighbor's pond. we were standing about chest high in water and my older sister started moving off to the side. one of us said something to her about where was she going and she didn't realize she was even moving. turned out she had stood on a turtle and it decided to take off, with her on top of it!! UGH!!!! thank goodness they're slow. LOL!!

5. Do you always wear a life jacket while out on the water (and not swimming)?

nope. occasionally when we're some place like Lake Havasu or something and decide to take a swim i'll put one on but i don't wear one when we just take our boat out, never have actually. stupid probably and something i should probably work on mind you, when we pull someone (fiance or friends), they do of course wear one.

 

1. Yes. I learned to swim as a very young child and I took lessons year-round (indoor pool in the winter, obviously, I'm not that hard-core!). You couldn't get me out of the water. I lived right across the street from a park that had a really nice pool, and my friends and I would spend all day and evening over there. OT: It's stuff like that which really makes me think how different today's kids are. I'd NEVER even consider letting my kids (if I had any) spend all day, every day, at a public pool with no adult accompaniment, especially as young as I was (elementary school). I walked to school with my friends from 1st grade on, too; 8 blocks. You'd never see a small group of 6 year olds walking alone today. Anyway.
2. Lake. The ocean in Hawaii was pretty magnificent, though.
3. I have only water skiied twice in my life, but holy cow was it fun! I got up on the first try and after that, I was hooked. I've never been on a Jet Ski nor tried any other water sports like that. I'd like to, though. Snorkeling is awesome.
4. I don't really want any of them to touch me, but I don't spend time thinking about them, either.
5. I actually do. I also can't sit in a moving car without putting on my seatbelt, though, so that should come as no surprise. ;-)

Jen, I'm doing okay. It's hard, really really hard. Nights are the worst, when we would hang out together on the couch or she'd follow me outside or come poke me with her nose to get petted. Yesterday was a really bad day, today was a little better. I just heard this John Mayer song on the way home, and the first verse made me cry because it's so fitting:
When you're dreaming with a broken heart
The waking up is the hardest part
You roll outta bed and down on your knees
And for a moment you can hardly breathe
Wondering was she really here?
Is she standing in my room?
No she's not, 'cause she's gone, gone, gone, gone, gone....

Thank you for asking. It really means a lot that you all care and share my feelings of how important pets are to us. They're members of the family, and some people just don't understand that.

 

...

 

You crack me up! :lol:

I see you found the post which explained the situation. It was obviously quite sudden, which has been both a blessing and a curse. I know I don't have to tell you how lonely it is without that vibrant, loving personality. I'm making it one day at a time now, which is certainly better than not.

I am so glad that I am able to do something to help you, Justin, especially after how much you help everyone here. You are sorely missed, but we completely understand why you are away. We all think of you often, though.

You said you wished you had something to offer me similar to what the Fives have done for you. You have. My fortune cookie today said it best: "The entire sum of existence is the magic of being needed by just one other person."

Thank you for your kind words, even in the midst of your own grieving. You are a truly special man.

 

...

 

(((((Sarah))))) (((((Gator))))) feelin' for you both ... :YMHUG:

 

Hi Sarah-

I'm really sorry about Cassie. I've never had a dog of my own before. It seems like dogs have feelings...not that cats don't, it's just different. I know it's a huge loss. Like you said - her leaving you suddenly in some ways is a blessing. I've gone through 4 cat losses. I think the quick ones are much more merciful to the pet, but it's so shocking and hard for the bean- Boomer was a sudden loss, but it helps me to know it really was his time as insane as that seems. I recently read a book by Penolope Smith an animal communicator about pet death. It really helped me see there is more to death (and life) than I realized. Some of it was a little out there (for me) but most of it was very helpful. Time helps too. It's been about a month since Boomer left me and coming home with no Boomer here to greet me isn't as hard. You're lucky to have other animals. I've usually had a "back-up" pet but I don't now.

Is your fiance in the military? I read on a different post that he's leaving for a couple months. Dave is an officer in the air force and he left once for 2 months to go to Iraq.

 

Thank you, Gator and Joanna. This weekend was rough but I feel like I've made the first step towards healing. I stayed home and away from the board and just remembered Cassie and our good times. It's still really hard but I feel like I can see a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel.

Traci, thank you for your kind words. I was thinking of Dave and Princess when I was writing about how the suddenness is in some ways easier. Not having had a pet with a long terminal illness, I can't say for sure. One of the things that's really hard about it being so sudden is that you (I) feel like there wasn't enough time to say goodbye. It was 10 days from the time Cassie first threw up until she was put to sleep, and then she never got to come home from the vet's. I wish in some ways that she could have just come home for one night so I could have spent time with her in her home where she wasn't stressed out. But that's not how this played out, and I'm just dealing with it as best I can, as we all have to do.

My Dave is not in the military. He took a second job in the DC area (for the US Patent and Trade Office) and is there for a few months to see if he can make both jobs work before I join him there. I am so sad for him that he didn't get to say goodbye to Cassie, but he also doesn't have to deal with coming home to an empty house or putting away her toys, bowls, etc. There's always a good and a bad side to nearly everything, I guess.

 

Hi Sarah-

I told Dave about what happened with Cassie; funny that you thought of him and Princess too.

I do know what you mean about not having time to say goodbye. Not sure if hearing other people's pet sob stories help you feel like you're "not the only one" but here's my story...and it was my first pet death. I had a cat Louie, very sweet and sensitive tux boy. He seemed to be in fine health and was 12 or 13. On New Years Eve weekend (vet closed) I noticed he had some blood coming out of his mouth - first time he'd ever been sick. I rushed him to the ER. They examined him, felt a lump on the side of his throat, told me it probably wasn't a good sign but that I could take him home and bring him to my vet Monday. I took him home and in the middle of the night I noticed he was lying in weird places and not looking very good. Although he looked sick I didn't get concerned because he was just examined and I knew I'd bring him to the vet on Monday. In the morning my other cat Calvin woke me up to tell me Louie needed me. Louie was in distress and was having trouble breathing. I went hysterical crying and freaking out and not knowing what to do. He died right there in my bedroom while I was trying to call the ER vet. I think my hysteria made him go faster because it upset him. Then I drove him back to the vet because I was in shock and "not sure" he was gone. They told me he was indeed gone. I think I may have called the ER vet that sent me home and yelled at her. The poor lady. It was so sudden and totally unexpected. I was also alone when it happened which triple-sucked. I'm sorry that your Dave didn't get to say goodbye at all. OMG. Cleaning up the toys and "stuff" of theirs is really brutal. Both scenarios suck.

Princess is still chugging along but Dave's quality of life sucks. We really can't do anything or go anywhere too far, he's not working - he was laid off but won't get a new job until after P passes away. Everything is on hold. She's really not "suffering" but man, he is. She isn't in pain. I'm not sure how long it can go on like this but other than having some bathroom accidents and some weakness in her back legs, she seems fine.

I thought of Buzz this weekend because of the new Toy Story movie. I chuckled that she's named after him - she doesn't look anything like him! :lol:

Remember that people here know what it's like and they care. The book I was talking about is "Animals in Spirit" by Penelope Smith. It was very helpful.

 

That is funny, although not completely unexpected, I suppose. We're family here, and he's your family, so we all share news with each other. I tell my Dave about people and their babies on here all the time. :smile:

I do find it helpful to hear other people's stories. It's sad to know that other people have had to go through this pain, too, but it's also comforting to know that I'm not crazy for feeling so upset.
I am so sorry about Louie. That must have been terrible, and you were alone on top of it. (((Traci))) I can't imagine doing all that; you're a strong person, that's for sure.

I can completely understand why your Dave feels like he needs/wants to spend as much time with Princess as possible. I certainly would have felt the same way had Cassie's dx been long-term (a few months) rather than one day. Please tell him to remember to take care of himself, too. He needs to be rested and have his emotional battery fully charged in order to be the best bean he can be for Princess, and that means sometimes taking a break. Also, something that we talk about here might be helpful for him to keep in mind if he can: look at the whole dog. Yes, she's terminal, yes, she has a limited amount of time left. But while she is still (relatively) healthy, I hope he takes advantage of that. I hope he can still find time to enjoy her, like we have to do with our sugarbabies, and not only think about her condition and what's ahead for her. He may already be doing all that, and I hope he is. I don't mean to intrude, I just would hate to see him get to the end of Princess' life and wish he'd done things differently. My heart goes out to you both; I can only imagine how it is to deal with something like that.

I can only conclude her former beans were morons. ;-)

I have drawn so much strength and support from everyone here, it's been amazing. And to think Cassie wasn't even a kitty, nor my reason for being on this board. The collective generosity of spirit here is amazing, and I know that there's no way I could have done this last week without the understanding and concern I've gotten here.
Thank you for the book title. I am quite interested in reading it, as I think ACs are fascinating and you made it sound worth reading. I'll look for it. :smile:

 

Hi Sarah-

Dave is definitely taking this opportunity to spend time with Princess; we have no idea how long this will go on. nailbite_smile It could be another 6 months, but who knows. I was there when the vet told him she couldn't believe Princess was up and walking around because this adrenal tumor was large and invading other organs. I twas horrible news, but she seems fine! He takes her for long walks (as long as it's not too hot) and swimming every day. I've told him to take videos of her too. I wish someone had told me to do that too. While I'm glad he's getting time with her, I fear for his sanity at times, he also is running low on money. But he is a good father and his pets are his top priority. He's got about 4 cats coming to his porch to eat every night; we don't know if they are stray or just mooching the food. He's also got a raccoon mom. He takes pictures and sends them to me. He's such an animal freak. When he was in Iraq there were stray cats there and he'd sneak food out for them even though it was STRICTLY forbidden. Sorry, I'm rambling!

So if it works out for Dave in DC does that mean you will move to DC? Do you want to do that? It may be a cool place to live, right?

 

(((((Traci))))) (((((Sarah))))) :YMHUG:

Traci something similar happened with my TIki who died last September (she had cancer though so it was expected). Her breathing got really bad all of a sudden & she died while I was getting the carrier out to take her to the ER. I know I made it worse for her by being hysterical myself, but she would have died anyway, so it was probably a blessing if it went faster for her because of that. But still pretty horrific. I drove to the ER too, just in case she wasn't gone and was still suffering (which in hindsight seems ridiculous, but I thought if I was wrong and she was just barely alive and holding on that would be even worse). I did get to say goodbye though thankfully, as I had already been thinking for several days about whether or not it was euthanasia time.

Sarah I'm so sorry you didn't get some time at home with Cassie. I hadn't realized she had been at the vets that whole last week. That must be tough for you. :sad: Hopefully it helps to know she was in good hands with your vet, and getting the best chance for a recovery had that been a possibility.

Not at all Sarah - I have found it can take months to really heal. I have never had a dog, but I know losing my orange tabby cat (he was the most dog-like of the cats I've had - he used to follow me around, greeted me when I got home, etc.) was the hardest thing I have ever gone through - it still is like a knife in the heart 4 years later if I let myself think about him. (Not to say losing all my other kitties hasn't been tough as well!)

Be easy on yourself - although it gets easier as the days go by, it is still (and always will be) a big loss that you need to do what you need to to honor, to remember Cassie, and to treasure the life you shared. It can be really frustrating when other people don't realize that, and seem to expect you to just keep going on with life as if nothing big has changed. You have lots of friends here though and many who have been through tough losses as well.

I also found the Pet Loss Message Board really helpful - I think there is a link over on Grief if you are interested and not already familiar with it. They have a nice candle ceremony every Monday night that you can join in with that I have found really nice a number of times, to feel connected to others going through the same thing. A lot of times I have found that stuff that bugs me starts to crop up after a few weeks - once the immediate shock & pain are over, and then it sinks in more, and times like that I have found that site can really help, when your friends and family stop asking how you are doing b/c their lives are already moving forward onto other things.

p.s. I used to be a contractor at the PTO for computer stuff - I still know a couple people who work there, but it's a BIG place! Is Dave a lawyer?

 

Traci-
I am glad Dave is getting to spend so much time with Princess, too. I know it will make him feel better (relative term, of course) after she passes to know that he had all that time to share with her. It sounds like he has a very big heart, which I'm sure is part of what drew you two together, because you do too.

If it works out, I will be moving there as well. I have lived in the DC area once already, for just over a year. It's a WAY cool place to live, but the cost of living is astronomical and the traffic is the worst I have ever lived in (and I grew up in Chicago). Plus my friends are here, and they are my family. It's a great opportunity for him, and by extension, us, but it is not something I am particularly (or at all) looking forward to doing.

Joanna-
Thank you for all those thoughts. They address exactly what I am feeling and thinking; very comforting to read. :YMHUG: I remember the sad story of Tiki. That is really awful to have to go through; I really can't imagine.

Cassie wasn't at the vet that whole last week. She went in on Monday for x-rays and the vet wanted to admit her to give her fluids overnight because she was dehydrated. She didn't come home after that. I did have those few days between the (mis)dx of pancreatitis and her getting sick again where she got better and was more like her old self. I am glad she had those for me to remember and share.

I believe her ashes will be coming back this week, and I'm not sure how that will be. I wasn't even sure that I wanted them, but I felt guilty for not wanting them, so I went ahead and got them. I know it's the right thing for a lot of people, and that's totally cool. To me, that's not her. I don't need an urn with her actual ashes in it to remember. I can't imagine how I'd feel if I ever knocked that urn over and they came out!

Dave is not a lawyer; he works in IT. He's in their NOC watching the security systems, etc. He's a Network Security Engineer at his one job, and his title at the PTO is SME (Subject Matter Expert), which I think is the dumbest title ever, but I guess it's so he can testify in court if the need ever arises. How strange that you know people there; any of them work in the NOC?

 

Wow Sarah - this post has been so interesting and helpful. I feel the same way about ashes. I don't like having urns all over my house but I felt guilty about not getting them too. Much to my total horror, when Louie died I ordered a box urn with a photo holder and it came to me unassembled (so I could put the photo in) and the ashes were in a bag with his name on them. It made me think "my cat has been reduced to this" and I never wanted to see or handle the ashes. I ended up combining his ashes with my next cat Calvin's. They were best friends so I put the ashes together and put a photo of both of them on the box. Calvins ashes came in a baggie too. Horrifying. After that I learned to send them the photo and have them put it together for me-that's what I did for Biscuit and for Boomer I just got the free container and I'll probably add his ashes to Biscuit's who just passed a year and half ago. Anyway...rambling again. Maybe I can get Dave to combine the ashes for me into Biscuit's box so I won't have to handle them. Yuck.

Boomer's ashes are ready but I've not picked them up because it's like going through the death all over again. Not sure when I'm going to pick them up.

Another thing still lingering is talking to my vet. All of this happened to Boomer at the ER hospital so I wrote a detailed letter to my vet to tell her what happened. It's easier to write than to talk about it. She called me a couple nights ago and left a message saying it took her a while to get up the courage to call me because it was so said and Boomer was such a good boy. She said I could call her but I haven't because I really don't want to break down again.

 

Hi - it's me again. I ran out of space in the last post.

<<If it works out, I will be moving there as well. I have lived in the DC area once already, for just over a year. It's a WAY cool place to live, but the cost of living is astronomical and the traffic is the worst I have ever lived in (and I grew up in Chicago). Plus my friends are here, and they are my family. It's a great opportunity for him, and by extension, us, but it is not something I am particularly (or at all) looking forward to doing. >>

I know what you mean. Same with me. When Dave finally does go to work again he may need to move too. DC would be one of the potential places. I don't want to move either because I generally like my job and I have friends here too. My wish is that he could get a job here in Massachusetts like he had before and we could FINALLY live together and have a life. his family and most of mine are here. I really don't want to leave. Just thinking about it makes me anxious.

 

I got the ashes back for my first kitty who died, and several months later I buried them in the garden, and planted a nice plant over them and put some pretty shells around them. I found it really comforting actually, although the technical part of it (they were in a really pretty box, but they sealed the box shut :shock: so I ended up having to destroy the box with a screwdriver to get to the ashes to bury them, so that kind of dampened the solemnity of my memorial ceremony, when I discovered I couldn't get the darn box open!!!). Since then I haven't gotten the ashes for cost reasons, but I found I miss that extra bit of closure. It gives you some focus for your grief I found, and helped me let go more in stages - Inca's box was on the shelf for months before I felt ready to bury the ashes, and I found it comforting to have some part of her still there until I was ready to let go. That's just me though.

Traci, I know how you feel about the vets. It took me six months one time to write a thank you to the specialist vet for the card she had sent when one of my cats died. I was embarrassed at that point to even send the card, it had taken me so long to be able to face doing it, but I felt like I wanted to do it, and better late than never. I am SURE your vet understands how tough it is for you, and knows that you will contact her when you are ready. I think it's good not to avoid that stuff too much, sometimes I have found that avoiding those things creates more anxiety than just facing them, but at the same time, sometimes it just isn't time yet, you have to do it when you are ready. That's nice that she called you though, I feel bad for vets with that 1/2 of the job when they have to deal with all that side of things, you gotta love the job to be able to handle that I think.

Sarah, I did know people in the computer center actually at PTO, but it's been close to 15 years now I'd be surprised if they are still there. I'll have to dredge my memory and see if I can come up with any names. I'll PM you if I do.

 

That sounds like a really nice memorial, Joanna. I like your point about letting go in stages, and it's helped me think about things differently. I picked up Cassie's ashes today and it was sadder than I thought it would be. Like...I remember her in life and now this is all I have left, no more smiling yellow face, no more happy wagging tail and bouncing. But at the same time, it's sort of nice to have a part of her here. I set the urn up on these built-in bookshelves we have. I put it beside a photo of her. The urn is pretty: white with gold writing listing her name and dates.

Traci, I agree with Joanna about your vet. I think that she knows about these things, and I'm sure that she understands why it's tough. You need to do things on your own schedule, when you can handle them. No one else can tell you when that is, and don't ever feel guilty about putting things off. The people who know you and your situation will understand, and the ones who don't, well, that's just tough for them.

I feel badly for vets, too. I was thinking about that a few days after Cassie's passing, about how hard it must be for the vet to make that call. I mean, just a couple of hours earlier, it was like, "It might be a cat toy in her stomach" and then she has to call and tell me that in fact, Cassie will be put to sleep in a matter of hours. Their hearts must break on a daily basis, and that makes what they do even more special.

What a small world, Joanna! I mean, seriously. How crazy is it that Dave is now working at the same place you used to work at?! And I live in St. Louis and you live in California. It's not even like we both still live in the DC area. Weird.