Help Me. J.D. passed on - it's been 8 days

Re: Help Me. J.D. passed on



I hope the vet techs could get the impressions for you, it si so hard to be on your own for this, but we are all here for you.

 

Re: Help Me. J.D. passed on

We are all sending you strength and comfort. All of us are holding you up as JD accompanies you on his last grand tour.


We will miss him terribly and we know your heart will always miss him so. Safe landing to our beloved Gentleman Cat.

Anne

 

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(((Dyana))), I've been sending up lots of prayers, that God will give you the strength, to get through this terrible grieving.
I can't tell you, how I'm hurting for you.
Barb :YMHUG:

 

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{{{Dyana}}}

I hope you feel all the love and support coming at your from your LL family. I know you feel alone, but you aren't. We are all there with you.

I love that you hear him purr. I'm sure that's his sign to you that he is comfortable and safe.

Sending many more hugs.... :YMHUG: :YMHUG: :YMHUG:

 

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Dyana,
I am so sorry for your loss. I will keep you both in my prayers so that you may find peace in the days to come.

Will

Poem For Cats
And God asked the feline spirit
Are you ready to come home?
Oh, yes, quite so, replied the precious soul
And, as a cat, you know I am most able
To decide anything for myself.

Are you coming then? asked God.
Soon, replied the whiskered angel
But I must come slowly
For my human friends are troubled
For you see, they need me, quite certainly.

But don't they understand? asked God
That you'll never leave them?
That your souls are intertwined. For all eternity?
That nothing is created or destroyed?
It just is....forever and ever and ever.

Eventually they will understand,
Replied the glorious cat
For I will whisper into their hearts
That I am always with them
I just am....forever and ever and ever.
Author Unknown

 

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((((Dyana & Ginger)))))Sending ton and tons more healing and comfort vines! Please know you are going to be in our thoughts and prayers every waking minute! :YMHUG: :YMHUG: I am glad your vet clinic will be able to do the paw imprinting for you, and that you did not have to go there alone. With my two older kitties, I had their blankets cremated, but looking back I wish I had saved 1/2 of the blankets to wrap their urns. That bothers me to this day.

 

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I am so so so sorry, Dyana. You have been a godsend to so many. J.D. was so lucky to have you. We all mourn with you. Hugs.

 

Re: Help Me. J.D. passed on

continuing to think of you today, dyana.

I have been thinking what a gift it was that JD slipped away without making you make the decision to take him in. He was bright and happy yesterday morning and that is how you can remember him.

fly free little one.

 

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I have long hair, and I cut a big swath out of it, in the underneath part that is soft and not yet gray, and I tied it around J.D.'s front paw in a bow. I took his collar off to keep, and I put his bow tie on. He was cremated in his bow tie and his blanket with a mouse toy that I hope he will play fetch with me, again, one day, like he used to, so long ago.
I thought about bringing a frozen shrimp, but did not think they would allow it for some reason. Now, I regret that.

The place was really nice. They let us wait for the cremation and we went to a diner. They did not pressure me to buy an urn and told me to take my time and not rush into it. He came home in a nice wooden box with a metal plate on top with his name engraved in it.

The certificate I got with him says the following words:
This is to certify that the beloved J.D. cherished by The Keen Family has been individually cremated with dignity and respect. And it says the paw prints on your heart will never be forgotten.

This a picture I cherish of his paw prints in the snow, I took one year. I don't know why they are yellow.

"Farewell Master, yet not farewell. Where I go, you too, shall dwell. I am gone before your face, a moment's time, a little space. When ye come where I have stepped, ye will wonder why ye wept."
Along with The Rainbow Bridge.

Ginger has not come out of the bedroom.

I am going to my elderly neighbor's house for a beer. I had her drive me to the liquor store, and go inside and buy me a six pack like a common teenager. I could use something more than a beer

Um, I never took the three days off when my sister passed away and boss said I could still use them, so I think I am going to use them while I grieve for J.D. I hope you understand, and if you don't okay.

 

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I understand completely. I think you are wise to take the time off right now, dyana.

 

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(((Dyana)))
I've been thinking about you today and I'm glad you're taking time off work. That's a very good way to take care of yourself.
Sending you and Ginger love and comfort.
:YMHUG:

 

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I agree...
You need to take care of yourself...

and if you weren't so far away, I'd gladly sit with you and drink whatever.
I think many of us would.

Sending scritches to Ginger. Sounds like she's grieving too.


and you should be able to photoshop those snow pictures back to white.... ;-)

 

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(((Dyana))) - It sounds like you have done wonderful things for J.D. and also wonderful things for yourself. It is good that you had time with him - in a way, to spend that time saying goodbye. It is too sudden otherwise, at least for me. The paw prints in the snow is beautiful. Most people probably wouldn't do something like this, but I had my kitty's paw prints (that were taken when she passed) tattooed on my shoulder where she used to rest her paws. I see them in the morning in the mirror and I have the warmth of her loving me. There are so many little ways you can keep him in your heart.

I am so saddened and teary - you were one of the people who helped me sooo much when I first arrived here with Leo a couple years ago, and even though I don't check in much, I still have such strong feelings for you and J.D. and the wonderful condos and descriptions of his and Ginger's daily activities. You have some good and funny stuff written about him in condos going back years - a diary of memories both wonderful and challenging.

You are such a good bean through and through. I am sending hugs and prayers that you find peace growing in you each day. It is so terribly hard in the beginning and will always be a hole, but it fills with love and sweet memories. I hope that comes soon for you and Ginger.

My very best,
Lisa & Leo

 

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Thought about you all day and I am very glad to hear you are taking care of yourself by taking some time off. I lost my mom and my cat of 20 years in the same year. I would be hard pressed to tell you which one was harder. Our cats aren't just like family, they are family. Just with fuzzier feet. Take care of yourself and Ginger will be ok too. I know a Photoshop wiz if you would like someone to work on J.D.'s foot print pictures. Just let me know.

 

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((((Dyana)))

I am so sorry. My lack of words doesn't mean that I don't care. It just means that I feel your hurt and I just don't know what to say other than that I am so so very sorry. I am in shock actually and I don't know why but my deepest and most heartfelt sympathies go out to you. You are in my thoughts and prayers.



Fly Free Dearest J.D.

Much Love to you,
Caryl

 

Re: Help Me. J.D. passed on

Yellow removed. Right-click and Save Image As.






(((hugs)))

 

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Dyana,

Those are beautiful pictures of J.D.`s footprints. I was a mess when my first cat Alex passed away. I took three days off of work and was a crying mess. I had a very understanding supervisor at the time.
My mom(GA) also had to come to my house because I was such a mess. You and J.D were here on the board when I first came some years ago.
Sending blessings and prayers for you and Ginger.

Terri

 

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I'm so glad your boss is being understanding and letting you take the days off. You need to have time to grieve. It is hard losing a furbaby any time, but especially one so close to our hearts as an FD kitty and an older kitty we've loved so long. J.D. will always be with you. Sending more prayers and hugs. :YMHUG: :YMHUG:

 

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I had to re-register, I guess if you aren't on board for a while it forgets you. I had to come back because I am heart broken. J.D was a sweetheart and he will be missed so much! Dyana, I am so sorry I could not help today. I feel so bad. Me and my stupid Drs., I wanted to be there for you. I'm glad you found someone. I hope J.D. finds Daphne at the rainbow bridge. I know she will be waiting there for him. She was always looking at the board to see how J.D. was doing and I always told her he said hi, and was doing ok.

I will be thinking of you Dyana. Don't forget to ask for a sign that J.D made it to the bridge. You would not believe the sign I got from Daphne. Someday I hope we can meet up and talk about our little babies. Till then have a beer for me!!

Oh, p.s. I just love the footprints!

Barb

 

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((((Dyana)))),
Your farewell to J.D. is a beautiful tribute to a beautiful boy.

Wishing you peace of heart and mind tonight. J.D. is watching over you and sending love and gratitude.

:YMHUG: :YMHUG: :YMHUG: , and for Ginger, cat_pet_icon

Ella & Rusty

 

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((((Dyana)))). I've been thinking of you all day and knowing how very difficult it is to deal with the cremation and getting JD back. I think it is lovely you had his bow tie on and tied your hair to his paw. When I lost my first kitty, I could not function for days and days and so I think you taking the time off is exactly what you should do. He is your child and you are grieving his loss as a member of your family. You must do whatever you need to nourish your soul at this very hard time.

How lovely that Lisa could fix the snow pawprint photo for you. His clay pawprint will always be a very special part of him that you will have. But I know he is right there with you and if you listen to the quiet, you will feel him.

I know I've posted this before in other condos but it makes my soul happy to know our babies are truly waiting for us....for their one and only mommy to meet up with them again. It might not comfort you now, but maybe in the future.

The Ridge by Carol Notermann

It’s been such a lovely summer, I’ve been napping in the sun.
This morning, other cats and I enjoyed a long long run.
We chased butterflies together. I climbed high into a tree.
And now I think what woke me up was that small bumble bee.

I’ve yawned and stretched, and still I feel that something has begun.
He’s standing there in robes of white, and telling me to come.
I always run to Him you know, when He comes across the bridge
To see if we’re all having fun and if we’ve checked the ridge.

He gives tummy rubs to all of us and pets and cuddles too
I’m glad to see Him every day, when He comes into view.
Each day He takes a different cat, and chats with them a while
Then off that kitty starts to run. I swear they seem to smile.

But now He’s stopped in front of me. He’s said a name I know.
He said to look out towards the ridge. The sun is setting low.
I start to walk out toward the ridge, and then what’s that I see.
IT’S YOU! IT’S YOU! It’s really you. You’ve come to be with me!

My goodness you are running and I am running too!
You stop to bend, but I can jump and now I am with you.
I feel your kisses on my head, as I did in long off days
You’re holding me and hugging me, and into your eyes I gaze.

And now He’s walking with us, as you carry me once more
We’ve crossed Rainbow Bridge together. We’re here at Heaven’s door.
And He has held it open, and told us to walk through
That from now on and forever, I can always be with you.

 

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J.D.'s snowy pawprints are just beautiful. I have no doubt he is playing with his mouse until you can play together again! Continued hugs and prayers....

 

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I hope you can feel all the love and admiration being sent your way. I hope you can feel all of our arms around you at this the most difficult time.

 

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Thank you. It's hard for me to attach the hugs icon smiley thingy because it is smiling...and I am not..not in my heart.. but you guys so deserve it for being here for me. The Love I have found, and the caring and support are remarkable. You guys are so much like a/my family and such loving and supportive friends, when I need you most. Thank YOU! And I know you guys know that. I have been Blessed to have you. My boss called me this evening. I told him that I just couldn't fake it, right now, and go back to work, and pretend that everything was okay. I think I might have a good boss, as he said to take it one day at a time and to take the time I need, and called J.D. a Family Member, which of course, he is.

Okay, I have to try to sleep. I hope to have some dreams of him. What a thought to have no alarms to wake up to. What a missing part of my life.

 

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i am so very sorry. we all know that terrible pain that you have right now. you just cry Dyana, as much as you need to and for as long as you need to. i will be sure to send all of my babies who are already at the bridge to meet your
J D and show him all the best playgrounds and sunny napping places. i promise they will take good care of him.

 

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{{{Dyana}}}

You are blessed. You had a long, loving relationship with an amazing being, and you have another furry creature to give you love and comfort, and you have a caring, considerate, understanding boss! I'm so glad you are able to take some days to regroup and reflect. I know it will help you to deal with your new normal. We are all here for you through it all. Lean on us and know we are thinking of you and wishing you peace.

 

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This is no way the same thing, and maybe you might identify. I can have multiple alarms on my iPhone. One was always to wake up for work and one was always in the middle of the night for Leo's PM+5. So it was set at 1:15 am near the end. I didn't delete that alarm, and I still see it every day. True, Leo is still with me so it's really not the same. But that alarm represented some close bonding time between us - and even thought he didn't feel like it, he somehow knew I was taking care of him and it was making him better. Somehow he just knew there was a reason mommy did this (I'd like to think it wasn't just for the little treat!). But, when I see that alarm, it reminds of our closeness and personal relationship and that he cared for me caring for him.

Dammit, I'm starting to cry again. So many hugs, dear.

 

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It's been almost 2 years since Mario crossed The Bridge, and I still miss all the parts of taking care of him. They just become part of who we are - they make us better people, and that is something we can carry with us for the rest of our lives, even though we aren't together at the moment.

More hugs to you, Dyana....

 

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Thank you, ladies. I really appreciate the caring and kind words and someone to talk to.

Ginger has been wearing J.D.'s jacket when she goes outside, which is very little in this cold.

 

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Dyana, what a tender and beautiful send off for J.D. on this, his next big adventure. I got all weepy again when I read about the lock of hair tied with such love around his paw.

You and your amazing gentleman cat are in my thoughts. And, of course, as always, vines.

Marilyn and Polly

 

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Thank you, Marilyn. You've always been there sending us vines. I really appreciate it. :YMHUG:

I hope the other kitties don't laugh because J.D. is wearing my hair and a bow tie, and I hope he keeps that mouse I sent him with and will play with it with me, when I go to be with him again, someday.

 

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Good Morning, Dyana,

I'm very sure that J.D. will take good care of that mouse until that wonderful day when you meet again.

Thinking of you!

Ella & Rusty

 

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It made me smile to think of J.D. arriving at the Bridge in his bow tie. I think the other kitties will be impressed and wish they had a lock of their mamabean's hair to sniff and remember her.

 

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Zener said all the kitties are a tiny bit jealous of J.D.'s bowtie because he is so very handsome in it. Hugs to you, Dyana. These first few days are so hard. We are thinking of you and holding you close.
Liz

 

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(((hugs)))

So sad to hear of JD's passing. I'm so glad you were able to bring him back home so quickly.

Those snow paw prints are adorable. <3

(((DYANA)))

 

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Oh (((Dyana))) I'm just seeing this now. I'm so very very sorry for your loss of sweet handsome J.D. You were always so dedicated to his care. I don't post much here, but I do lurk, and your condo is one I always read. I love the send-off you gave him. What a great idea to tie your hair to him. I'm sure he'll be forever grateful to have that reminder of you so close to him. Tears are streaming down my face for you both. My deepest and sincerest condolences to you. I'm sure Muffin was there to meet him at the Bridge, as were so many others. I just don't know what to say. Know that I am thinking of you. Fly free dear J.D. Such a legend here.

 

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Thank you Anne. I didn't think of this at the time, but he did always sleep on top of my head, so maybe my hair means something to him. BIG tears here :cry:

 

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This is my vision of what it must be like at the rainbow bridge for all of our GA kitties. Now, I will imagine a bow tie on one of these beloved kitties.

Thinking of you today Dyana and sending love.

Anne

 

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Thank you, Anne :|

I'm off to pick up his paw prints from the vet, in a little bit. I miss him so. My neighbor just came by to say he was sorry (I don't know how he heard) and gave me a bottle of wine. That will help me sleep tonight, but it normally makes me cry more, too :roll: but I guess that is okay.

I told Amy that if that little kitten she found was still available that I might think about it. Is it too soon?

 

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Tears are okay. In fact necessary in my opinion. No, it is not too soon. Janna from the FPS is so glad that you got the kittens after she lost MA. It doesn't mean that she loved MA any less. She also sees signs of them in the new kitties. To rescue a kitty is a testament to your love for JD and vice versa. That being said I got Max and Tiffany a month after losing Mandie and it was really hard at first. I was back in the ER the night after I got them with Max. I saved him. Hugs.

 

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The heart wants what the heart wants when the heart wants it.
Sometimes it is clear, sometimes it is not.
But I agree that J.D. would want you to welcome another cat at some point.

MJ

 

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Dyana,

When my cat Alex passed away I went to get another cat at the rescue. I ended up with not one but two kittens, one was my avatar my Siamese mix Lilly who was my diabetic cat and her sister Ally. They were 8 weeks old, I was blessed every day that I had them on this earth.
That kitten Amy had was SO cute. Let us know what happens.

Terri

 

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(((Dyana)))

It is never too soon to find love and comfort. It is never too soon to open your home and your heart to a creature in need.

 

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When I lost my first cat (almost 25 years ago), I became obsessed with the idea of saving another cat in his memory. I thought I wanted a kitten, but, on my way to the kitten cage at the Humane Society, I passed a cage that I didn't even look at. This little calico paw reached out from that cage and snagged my sleeve. I turned and looked -- and fell in love with a little calico and her orange tabby brother.. They were 10 months old. Hobie had a heart attack when he was only 5 years old and I was heart-broken. But my little calico, Katie, lived to be 20 years old and she was a joy every single day.

 

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It's never too soon, if you're ready. I love what Sienne wrote. Best get 2 (especially if you get kittens) otherwise poor Ginger will have no peace.
Liz

 

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I think it is the perfect time, when you decide that it is time. There is no such thing as too soon or too long....it is too perfect, because you know when it is right. I would also say two if getting kittens....

My friend Rebecca lost her beloved Sunshine at age 21 and she said she wouldn't be able to get another cat for quiet some time. She had just had food surgery. The following weekend we drove about 2 hours into WI and she found a kitten that she just had to take home with her....


I have kept you and Ginger in my prayers and cry everytime I read new comments...You are a fantastic cat mom and if/when you decide to bring new furbabies into your home, they will be truly blessed and lucky to have such a wonderful mommabean.

 

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I don't think it's too soon. You have lots of love to share. It doesn't mean you love J.D. any less. You just love the other kitties in a different way. I have a multi-cat house. It has always helped me to have other kitties to share my love with when I lose one of my furbabies. But you don't have to rush to get another kitty or kitties. You'll know when the time is right. :YMHUG: :YMHUG: Scritches to Ginger. I hope she's doing okay.

 

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I hope Ginger's doing okay, too.

I was beginning to prepare my dinner, and she followed me into the kitchen and meowed, and acted friendly. She was hungry and I fed her.
I may be delusional, but I got this slight message from J.D. at that time, to be nice to Ginger. How do you be nice to a cat that pretty much just ignores you?

Maybe, I'll go to my elderly neighbor's house again and bring Ginger with me. When we are there together, Ginger is really nice to my neighbor and lets her pet her and scratch her and then she either sits next to me or my neighbor, like a nice kitty. Maybe, somewhere inside her, there is this nice kitty, if only I could bring it out when we're home alone.

I guess I need to try extra hard. For J.D.

You know, I have still been known to cry crocodile tears for the passing of my beloved horse 20 years ago, and I can still feel exactly how Zak's neck and shoulder felt on my hand. I think I will remember J.D.'s soft mink like fur forever, too.




Soon, I'm afraid, they're going to kick me off of this thread, and tell me to go someone else to post, as it's getting long. I hope not.

 

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{{{Dyana}}}

I seriously doubt anyone would kick you off the thread, but you can always start a new one! Perhaps Ginger ignored you before because she knew how special J.D. was to you and felt she couldn't compete. Maybe this is your chance to develop a relationship with her. Might be a good idea to explore that before you add another kitty to the mix.

 

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Hi, Dyana!
You can open another condo in memory of JD and just chit-chat!
(((((((hugs))))))

 

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I think Ginger is reaching out to you...she knows you're sad, and she's probably sad, too. Maybe she was just "stepping aside" because she knew J.D. needed more attention than she did.

 

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Hi Dyana. Just stopping by to let you know I have been keeping you and Ginger in my thoughts and sending lots of comfort vines your way. :YMHUG: :YMHUG: :YMHUG:

 

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Hi Dyana. I've been reading through this post and I have to say that my keyboard is wet with my tears. J.D. is family and we all lost a family member and there is no way that any one would let you get kicked off the board with this post! We will always be here for you and you just take as long as you need to grieve.

Love that you have the paw prints in the snow..they are a wonderful reminder of the fun times J.D. and you and Ginger had in your little walks around the complex. Glad that Lisa could take the yellow out and now it looks like fresh snow and purrfect paw prints. I also think that the other kitties will not laugh at J.D. for having a bow of fur and a mousie when he gets across the bridge. I think they will be very impressed and jealous that he got to take a part of his bean with him. I am sure he is cherishing that part of you and your love.

I am glad that your neighbor could be with you for comfort and support since we could not be there, and to get your beer for you. I have a bottle of scotch you left here a few years ago....if you come up for Thanksgiving we can toast to J.D. with that.....and we can cry again...just thinking of it is making me cry again.

Ginger will come around...I am sure that she is lost herself and doesn't know what to do. J.D. and you had that special bond and I know you miss that. I know that you love Ginger and you gave her love and spent time with her and loved her and loved her. But with J.D. and his diabetes and other health issues, he got just a little more....understandably, so there is nothing wrong with that. Now you will be able to devote a little more time to Ginger and that may help you guys bond more and more. Ginger may realize that she likes the extra attention and then oh, goodness, you may have a very clingy girl!! I found that Ali, Spot, and GeeCee have picked up some of Ralph's mannerisms since he passed. Ali is now sitting on the arm of my chair where Ralphie used to lay...there are times when I wake up and Spot is laying on my pillow above my head, like Ralphie used to do, and he also took over Ralphie's yowling at night, lol. Gee has taken over the window seat and I have been waking up in the morning to find all kinds of toys laying all around.....Ralphie used to grab them from the basket and walk around with them...sometimes leaving them on my bed at night. Give it time, Ginger may take over the love giving part that J.D. left behind.

Dyana, remember, that everyone grieves in their own way. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. You do what ever YOU need to do to help you through this. No one here is going to judge you and if any one else does, well, that is THEIR problem. You have a huge hole in your heart now and although the hole will never go away, it will get less painful. Is it to early to get another kitty? Only you can answer that question. A new kitty will never replace J.D., it isn't supposed to. But a new kitty just may fill up that hole in your heart a little and make the pain a little more bearable. When you are ready to open up your heart and home to another kitty, you will know when the time is right.

Love you, Dyana and wish I could take some of that heart ache away for I know all to well how it feels. But I can't. I am just here if you need me...call or text or drop me a pm. Whatever you need to do. Sending cyber hugs to you and cyber pets to Ginger.

Fly Free sweet sweet J.D. You are a legend and will live on in our hearts and minds forever.

 

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(((((((Dyana))))))))

I'm so very sorry for your loss. . .
To say you went above and beyond does not even approach all you did for JD. .
I'm so glad I was able to meet him in person and pet him...

He is now free from his ailing body
He has been restored. . .I'm sure of it.

I share in your grief and mourn his loss along with you. . .

::tears::

 

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When it is the right time, the right kitty will come along. That will be some lucky kitty!

I'm glad that Ginger is paying more attention to you (and maybe to what J.D. is telling her).

Have a good night, Dyana.

Thinking of you :YMHUG: :YMHUG: :YMHUG: , scritches for Ginger,

Ella & Rusty

 

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Thinking of you.
Anne

 

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I can't think of a better thing to say than this poem

 

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Thank you ladies.
I am going to work today to catch up on some stuff. My boss has been so kind. I'm not sure about the other co-workers.
Ginger came to visit me a little more last night for loves, or maybe it was because I had treats. But, maybe I can train her love loves with treats. Right now she is sitting next to my feet where J.D. used to.

 

Re: Help Me. J.D. passed on

Glad to see you are venturing out to work today (well, sort of...any day you don't have to go to work is a good day in my book, lol) and I am so happy that your boss is so understanding. Your boss must know the pain of loosing a fur kid....and like I said last night...J.D. was probably like an employee to him since he came to work with you so often :lol:

Now Ginger......she will come around, even if it is for treats! But I think it is more than the treats. I think in her own way she needs to have you near to her also. She is missing J.D. just as much as you. She may be one of those kitties that doesn't wear their hearts on their paws. You will see a change in her and I bet it will be a good change.

Hugs this morning and hope you have a good day. Remember to eat, even if it is some good yummy home made soup! Maybe get a pot of spaghetti sauce cooking and have a nice meal with that bottle of wine your neighbor gave you.

 

Re: Help Me. J.D. passed on

I am so very, very, very sorry to hear about your loss, Dyana. You were, and still are, a very wonderful Mama Bean to him, and to Ginger. I hope, and pray that the good Lord will help heal your broken heart quickly. There are no words that can truly express how I, and the others on here, feel. :YMHUG:

 

Re: Help Me. J.D. passed on

Dyana

I know how much we all try very hard to give equal time to our civvies but I'm sure it's not quite equal. How can it be with all the extra stuff our FDs need? Give Ginger time. She's not used to being the center of attention or to getting all the love and devotion.

Insofar as when is it too soon to open your heart? It's never too soon. You probably don't remember how Gussie came to us. We had picked him out as a very young kitten but the breeder had a strict policy (as most really good breeders do) that he couldn't go until he was 13 weeks old. In the interim, one of our cats was dx with advanced liver cancer. He crossed the Bridge the day we were to pick up Gus. I called the breeder and asked her if we could delay it but she was getting ready to go to a show and there is always a chance of show cats bringing home URIs so she wanted to be sure we had Gussie before the show. I told our vet that I did not want a new kitten even though it had been planned for a long time. How could I pick up a new kitten when my heart was devastated. But the vet basically told me to get my butt in gear and get the kitten. I did......he cried ALL the way from the breeder's house to ours (one hour) and I was sobbing my head off. But that was Gus....OMG...I can't imagine a life without that wonderful creature. I am so thankful to the vet. Did Gus replace Nik? Absolutely not. But Gus had his own special ways and he truly helped us find peace.

Many hugs and much love.

 

Re: Help Me. J.D. passed on

Who would "they" be? ;-) I think everyone here understands grieving, Dyana. No one is going to pull rules out on you.

We got our two 5 month old kittens, Frodo & McGee, about 2.5 months after punkin died. I thought they would keep Anya company, but she's always been afraid of them. I thought they would lighten my heart, and they do. They certainly don't replace Punkin. On the one hand, they're amusing, on the other, I've wondered if I should've gotten an older cat. I thought Anya would accept kittens better, but that didn't happen. She's a bit of a prissy diva type and she's also afraid of so much. I also wonder if she would've handled it better if I'd only gotten one kitten instead of two.

Honestly, I don't think waiting longer would've made any difference. When some kitty grabs your heart, then you'll know that's the time.

 

Re: Help Me. J.D. passed on

Hi Dyana, just wated to check in with you and see how you ang Ginger are doing. I know this week has been a long, devastating time for you. I'm glad you have a boss that has been kind and understanding. Glad to hear Ginger is being more affectionate ....she is grieving too for sweet J.D.

You will know when it is the right time to add another Kitty . I do not think J.D . would want you to wait too long. .. he knows how much love you have to offer another Kitty . He would not want that kitty to miss out on having you and Ginger as a family.

Sending you and Ginger my continued thoughts and prayers and lots of hugs !

Risé

 

Re: Help Me. J.D. passed on

(((Dyana)))

My deepest condolences. I just found your condo. I had been thinking about JD all week because of the wonderful birthday you gave him. I loved your description of the treats you got him and it made me feel less embarrassed about asking friends to celebrate Angie's birthday with me today. I'm glad that I had been thinking of you both, even though I didn't know that my thoughts and wishes for you were needed. You and J.D. were one of the first to help and support us when we arrived in LL and I've been following your condo as often as I can.

It's lovely that Ginger is seeking you out a bit more and I love that you received the message from J.D. about her. My friend had a stand-offish cat that really bonded with her after his sister, the cuddly one, passed away. Nursing a kitty brings you so much closer to them. Perhaps you could simulate that with frequent-but-short scheduled Ginger time? You could give attention or treats like the way we schedule testing time. Maybe that frequent contact might be part of why nursing brings you closer together?

If you choose to get a new cat thisis a great article on introducing them. I've followed it with Angie and Jetzin four times now over the last few years when we moved into share houses with other cats. It worked 3 out of 4 times. The 4th time an adult male cat kept picking on Jetzin (who was also a boy), in a house that was a bit too small. Angie didn't ever make snuggling friends but each time they worked out how to live happily together.

Big hugs. I don't know what to say. It's such a difficult time and there is no real comfort. Stay open to messages from J.D. Your bond dose not change with death.

Grace

 

Help Me. J.D. passed on - it's been 6 days

It has been hard. Although there are minutes when I don't feel sad. Last night I finally got a full night's sleep.

Yesterday, I got Ginger out for some walks all dressed in her jacket and harness. And later in the day, I took her out to return J.D.'s never worn Birthday Jacket :sad: and some food that was for J.D. that Ginger will not eat. I have a case of Iams Renal Food and a case of Iams Maximum Calorie that I will eventually take to Tabby's Place, unless one of you want them.

I took Ginger out for one walk so far this morning. I put her jacket and harness on and we walk slowly, and sometimes the squirrels come out and I feed them. This morning, I threw a peanut 4 inches from Ginger's face accidently and the squirrel actually grabbed that peanut from under Ginger's mouth and ran off. Ginger just stood there. Right now, she is sleeping in J.D.'s bed. I'm sure she misses him.

Eventually, I will write a tribute, and get his urn engraved, and order a print out of one of my many photos of J.D. to hang on the wall.

 

Re: Help Me. J.D. passed on - it has been 6 days

I'm glad you were able to get some good sleep last night. I know how hard it is to be able to sleep. I'm sure Ginger is missing J.D. too. I'm glad you and Ginger were able to get out for a walk this morning. Keeping you and Ginger in my prayers. :YMHUG: :YMHUG:

 

Re: Help Me. J.D. passed on - it has been 6 days

I went through all this when I lost Tiffany who demanded all of the attention all of the time. Max was always more reserved and she ran the house. He was really grieving as much as I was and that is when he got pancreatitis from the stress. Your bond with Ginger will grow with time as she comes out of the shadows. :YMHUG:

 

Re: Help Me. J.D. passed on - it has been 6 days

:YMHUG: :YMHUG: :YMHUG: I love that picture of J.D. and Ginger...so sweet. I know, it is so hard, but you are not alone....we're here with you.

That is one bold squirrel :shock: ! I'm sure Ginger was shocked that he would walk right up to her like that!

 

Re: Help Me. J.D. passed on - it has been 6 days

(((Dyana))), been thinking about you. :YMHUG:
This is definitely a time of adjustment for you and Ginger.
I'm glad you're taking her out for walks (sounds like the squirrels are happy about that too ;-) ), and how wonderful that you slept well last night. Amy is right: we are right by your side. ♥

 

Re: Help Me. J.D. passed on - it has been 6 days

(((Dyana)))

I am so very sorry to read that it was JD's time to cross. What a terrible shock that was for you and it brings tears to my eyes toimagine how your heart must have felt. You and JD have been so very special to me for all you have done to help us on our early morning panic attacks. you were always there for me when I needed you and my heart breaks that I wasnt here for you sooner.
It's good to hear you had taken some time for yourself and that Ginger is getting some interesting walks in. Love the pic of JD and Ginger together
My heart is with you. You will be very missed JD
Kim

 

Re: Help Me. J.D. passed on - it has been 6 days

(((((Dyana & Ginger))))) I have been thinking about you two a lot as well! Glad to hear you got some sleep last night- I'm sure it has been difficult to establish any feeling of normalcy, my heart goes out to the both of you. I agree with Elise, that Ginger is experiencing loss and mourning as well. The tribute, the urn, that can wait until you are ready, when the time is right. Right now, just take it one day at a time, one breath at a time if necessary, we're here if you need us! :YMHUG: :YMHUG:

 

Re: Help Me. J.D. passed on - it has been 6 days

((((Dyana & Ginger))))

The picture of J.D. and Ginger is wonderful. I think that Ginger is communicating with him when she sleeps in his bed.

6 days can seem like a lifetime when time is suspended. It is good to take time to grieve. We are all right by your side.

Hugs, scritches, and love,

Ella & Rusty

 

Re: Help Me. J.D. passed on - it has been 6 days

(((Dyana)))
Sleep is so important in order to be able to put one foot in front of the other when grief is overwhelming. Thank you for sharing J.D. and Ginger's picture. I'm glad Ginger is sleeping in his bed. She feels him close.

Thank you for being here for me today. Hugs.

 

Re: Help Me. J.D. passed on - it has been 6 days

{{{Dyana}}}

I'm so glad you finally got some real sleep. It sounds like Ginger is grieving, too. It's something you can share with her. I'm glad your boss is so considerate. Who cares what anyone else thinks?

Sending lots of hugs. :YMHUG:

 

Re: Help Me. J.D. passed on - it has been 6 days

Dyana,
There is no such time as "the right time". When Bob crossed last year, I was crushed. Without a kitty in the house for the first time in 30 years. I thought I needed a break. That was on November 8th.
On November 27th, Polly moved in to stay. I didn't see it coming, especially that soon. What the hell did I know?

It sounds like Ginger is trying to help you fill the void that JD left behind. JD might know best and there might be a new miracle in your immediate future. You'll know when and if it happens.


The important thing to remember is that you are a special soul. You give your heart away to these incredible beings, knowing fully well that one day you will have to say goodbye and suffer a broken heart all over again. Yet you do it. We all do, and we always will.

Peace to you dear friend.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mnuVZd_e794&feature=youtube_gdata&noredirect=1

Carl and Pollygirl

 

Re: Help Me. J.D. passed on - it has been 6 days

Dyana,

There is something I've been meaning to say to you for a long time. I probably should have said it years ago, so I'm sorry I didn't. I wanted to say that you are probably the person I admire most on this whole board. There was nothing about J.D.'s feline diabetes journey that was easy, but you kept plugging along, day after day for YEARS. You knew OTJ wasn't in the cards, but you didn't complain, you just kept doing everything you could for J.D. I've never seen anyone work harder for her cat. At the same time, you never stopped supporting everyone else. If you have ever lost your temper with anyone, you did not do it in public.

I'm not sure how you have managed to avoid complete burnout, but I hope you'll give yourself time and permission to recover, physically and emotionally. You deserve it.

J.D was the luckiest kitty, and so is Ginger and whatever new kitty finds you, whenever that happens.

I personally don't think there is anything wrong with adopting immediately if that's what feels right, nor do I think there is anything wrong with waiting. I've done both. I actually tried to talk myself out of adopting Lucy because it was "too soon" - I met her just a week after another cat had died. Can you imagine if I hadn't adopted Lucy? I can't. Just go with your heart.

 

Re: Help Me. J.D. passed on - it has been 6 days

((((Dyana)))) I want to reach through the computer and give you such a big old hug right now!
BUT I also wanted you to know that you gave me a nice morning chuckle with the squirrel, peanut and Ginger story! I hope that made you chuckle also.
I am glad you are getting some sleep...I know it's been a LONG time since you really had a good nite sleep. Hope you woke up refreshed and ready to go. Must have been really hard to return J.D.'s birthday gift. I am sorry for that.

Hopefully the weather will be on our side and you can venture out to Pittsburgh on Wednesday. I have the family room all cleaned up and ready to go for you and Ginger. I didn't make the bed tho, since you usually sleep on your air mattress. Let me know if you want to sleep on the bed and I'll get it ready for you!

And....before I go.....I really have to echo what Libby said. You are an inspiration to many folks on FDMB. You put your heart in soul into taking care of J.D., not matter what it took. He was a very very lucky kitty to have had you for his bean.

 

Re: Help Me. J.D. passed on - it has been 6 days

Thank you.

I am starting to clean up the house a little bit. But, I still have the curtains drawn although it is a beautiful day outside.

Right now, Ginger is pressing her head against my hands as I type this

I would like to talk to an animal communicator, but I don't have the questions to ask yet. I just have feelings.

 

Re: Help Me. J.D. passed on - it has been 6 days

I found it helpful to burn a candle for Ozy's spirit. Whenever I felt horribly lonely, I lit the candle.

 

Re: Help Me. J.D. passed on - it has been 6 days

Deb, my neighbor just came home and said he was buying batteries and candles and said there is a possible Nor Easter on Wednesday. I hope not.

Here are a couple of my first pictures with my digital camera. They were about the time he was first diagnosed.

 

Re: Help Me. J.D. passed on - it has been 6 days

What Libby said.....
:mrgreen:
You are an inspiration to us all!!! All that you did for J.D. and Ginger.....really an inspiration!!!
Hope your day went okay and that the weather will be kind to you all...

 

Re: Help Me. J.D. passed on - it has been 6 days

Just want you to know that I'm thinking of you and Ginger today. Sending hugs. (and maybe some peanuts for that gutsy little squirrel.)

As always, vines.

Marilyn and Polly

 

It was so hard.. to come home to (what I consider, now, to be) an empty house.

I went to the grocery store on the way home, because I NEED 1/2 and 1/2 for my coffee. I looked at the tuna, and thought to get the expensive kind (the kind in only water with ultra low sodium) and knew it didn't matter any more. So many things don't matter anymore. After picking up the 1/2 and 1/2 and milk (which I'm surprised they still had) and some ice cream and frozen chicken patties (in case I am here for The Holidays), I went to the pet aisle and then I came to the cat treats. They have a new flavor Scallop, Shrimp, & Tuna flavor (that I'm sure J.D. would have loved) - big tears ...do they eat in heaven? And, it was just so hard. I can buy anything I want. And that Celine Dion Sinead OConnor song "It's been Seven Hours and Fifteen Days" song has been repeating itself in my head all day.

Sorry to lay all this on you. So many days, I was feeling negative, about how I thought J.D. was feeling, but I kept trying to post positive, so as not to get negative vibes going for him. Most days I only saw him before work and after work, and had to get all these pills and food into him, was lacking sleep. Somewhere inside me, I knew, he didn't have much quality of life left, except for sitting next to me after feedings (he looked good), and following me everywhere I went, and purring when he slept with me.

I was putting some stuff together to take with us to Pittsburgh (and J.D.'s ashes are coming with us of course), and I was putting J.D.'s collars into his box, and I let Ginger smell them, and I know she heard the rings of his bells

I'll just shut up, now.

The weather report was changing every couple of hours, today. It seems if it keeps being a "Heavy Snow" forecast for tomorrow, that I will then just (hopefully) sleep tomorrow, and enjoy (sorry Amy) the snow storm, and then leave for Pittsburgh on Thanksgiving morning.

ETA: Ginger got a vet appointment yesterday, and her itching is not fleas. I couldn't just show up at Deb's and bring a scratching cat, and say "I don't think it's fleas". The vet says it's probably some allergic reaction to food maybe. She said we can try a short course of steroids (and cause diabetes?), or try a novel protein like Duck (but cat's like variety), or do expensive allergy tests, or just let it go and see what happens. Since she started the scratching at the beginning of summer, I choose to see if the itching doesn't subside now that we are coming into winter weather.

Sorry to be emotional. I just kept waking up every 2 hours last night, and just didn't sleep well.

Please hug and kiss all your fur babies for me, tonight, and give them a bit of extra love, like I tried to give to J.D.

 

dyana, i think every one of us that's lost our diabetic cat knows what you're feeling. the routine that was a burden is one that you'd willingly take back on for the rest of your life if you could just have your sweet little one back. all the time spent taking care of them is now available, and it's downright weird and empty to have the freedom.

it takes time, but you will heal and you will begin to remember with more smiles than tears at some point.

I hope you can enjoy your time with Deb!

lots of love to you.

 

Dyana, don't ever feel like you have to shut up. You can post here anything you need to. We know how much you loved J.D. and did everything you could for him and made the most of the time you had with him. We know how hard this is. Sending prayers and hugs to you and scritches to Ginger. :YMHUG: :YMHUG:

My mom's cat just recently went through a period where she was scratching and having an allergic reaction to something. She wiped her down with vinegar for a couple of days and it seemed to help.

 

sending hugs.

I"ve so-o-o-o been where you are now. They are our everything. And the emptiness seems so vast. Their absence is deafening.

I've got a counselor reminding me to focus on the full glass instead of the empty one. ( because of my dd)
It's hard to be thankful right after big losses....really hard....... but it does make a difference if you can manage to find the blessings....

wow. The two of you made it 20 years.... there's one.


From what you've said, it sounds like Ginger is trying to step up and become your number one.
She's waited in the shadow ( really, Rhiannon?) because J.D. needed you so.
But it sounds like she's trying to help you get thru this. And she needs you too.

All you can do is get thru this one day at a time....


my dgm used to tell a story of siblings.... and the baby is getting praised by strangers.....
finally, the oldest says, " I have blue eyes too...."
it sounds like Ginger might have a whole new relationship for you to discover and blossom.

Many hugs and prayers for your grieving heart....

 

Oh Dyana, please don't ever feel like you have to apologize or shut up about the feeling going on inside of your head- I bet there isn't one of who hasn't felt the dread of facing losing one of our sweet kittys, you faced what is my greatest fear with so much courage and strength!! :YMHUG: :YMHUG: I thought you meant The Prayer by Celine Dion, but now I see you meant Nothing Compares 2U, which I had not heard in years- how appropriate!

Please keep posting here, we all care and want to hear how you are doing. Sending hugs and love to you and Ginger.

 

Your thoughts make me think back to when Tiffany left us. It gets way harder before it gets easier. At least that is the way it was for me. I wish I could do something more than just listen. I hope the weather cooperates so that you can get away for Thanksgiving. You didn't try to give JD love you did give unconditional love and still are. You can't have any regrets. You did it all and gave 10,000% and he knew it too.

 

(((Dyana)))
Thinking of you.....
I know what you mean by "so many things don't matter anymore".
I know everything in sight is making you sad right now, but you will be ok and knowing you did everything for him will help you heal.
It was so hard for me not suddenly having all the things I did for Lucy, feeding, testing, etc., and I didn't know what to do with my time.
I didn't want to do anything if it doesn't involve Lucy, so I started painting Lucy.
I am no good at it, but it is comforting, and is a good healing process for me.
I just wanted to mention this as I thought you might find it calming too.

 

((((Dyana)))),

I hope that the weather cooperates and that you and Ginger will be able to spend Thanksgiving at Deb's.

How hard it is to suddenly be without a routine that was such an important part of your life for so many years. But your happy memories of J.D. will bring you so much joy in the years ahead and they will eclipse this time of grief and pain.
Let Ginger help you. She wants to comfort you and she needs your help too so that she can grieve. Perhaps she might enjoy that new cat treat. The trip to Pittsburgh will be good for both of you. Drive carefully and have a safe trip. Keep your mind on the road! If the weather is too bad today, I hope you'll be able to get there tomorrow morning.

Thinking of you. Sending :YMHUG: :YMHUG: :YMHUG: s. and scritches for Ginger,

Ella & Rusty

 

(((Dyana)))

I'm still thinking of you and sending vines your way. Your last post resonated with me from when I lost my GA dog Taffy 3 years ago, also right before Thanksgiving. I know the empty feeling :sad: I wish there was something I could say to make it better.

I hope you and Ginger enjoy your Thanksgiving trip together - that sounds like a lot of fun. Billie had really bad itching/hives that turned out to be food allergies. She used to eat Merrick chicken, turkey, and duck, although the allergen could have been an added ingredient like egg. Now she is eating Instinct rabbit and pork since our novel protein options are pretty limited. But, the change of food cleared things up within about 3 weeks, fwiw.

Sending hugs to you and scritches to Ginger!

 

{{{Dyana}}}

As the others have said, you can come here and vent any time you want. We all understand, better than just about anyone. We are all thinking of you and Ginger and praying for you.

I know GInger can't take J.D.'s place in your heart, but open it up and let her in a little more. She's letting you know she wants to be closer to you. It really will help you deal with J.D.'s absence.

If Ginger likes variety, there are a number of novel proteins out there - duck, rabbit, venison, pork, lamb, buffalo, even kangaroo! Look around and experiment. Hopefully it is just seasonal allergies, but just in case....

Sending lots of good weather and safe travel vines. I hope you are able to relax and enjoy Thanksgiving. :YMHUG:

 

Okay :-| we're almost ready to go. Wish us luck on the roads and travel, please.

Wishing you a Good Thanksgiving.

:YMHUG:

 

We are having a similar experience with Tillie. She was a bit neglected because Zener required so much attention and she didn't get things that she likes like bags and boxes because Zener started peeing on them. :roll: :lol: Zener had such a big personality that he kind of sucked all the air out of the room and didn't leave much for Tillie. The first week after he died, Tillie would go into her little heated hut and didn't interact with us. I think she was grieving and was just as sad as we were. Gradually, we are all coming to a new normal, where she gets on my lap in the evening for a little petting (she didn't before because Zener was always there) and she comes to bed with me for some more petting, specifically her butt :lol: (she didn't before because Zener came to bed with me). I'm sure you and Ginger will work things out.

I remember when Mariko explained to her mother that she was doing everything she could for Lucy so that she wouldn't have any regrets when she was gone. That resonated with me, we did do everything we could have for Zener and have no regrets now. I always thought you were amazing, Dyana, taking care of J.D. the way you did. And then I learned he had diabetes for 9 years, along with his other issues. And he wasn't easy either, with crazy numbers up and down. I often thought of how good you were with J.D., when I was feeling upset about Zener's BGs.

We all miss J.D. and continue to send comfort vines to his wonderful bean. Safe travels to you and Ginger.
Liz