Kitty 5/18-- Not good

Discussion in 'Prozinc / PZI' started by kse, May 18, 2012.

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  1. kse

    kse Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 10, 2011
    Morning,

    Kitty is no better today and still doesn't want to eat. I gave her the appetite stimulant this morning. I must admit that I am weighing my options this morning. I feel like we have fought a good fight, but that maybe the inevitable is here. I have no regrets, but it is so hard to make the final decision. I could take her back to the vet hospital, but I really don't want any more pokes, prodes and tests on her. They have been treating her for almost 2 months, if she is no better now, then what can they offer? I am inclined to give the appetite stimulant a chance to work, but I am not certain that is even a good decision. I have cried, prayed and asked for guidance from my vet----but, I am still undecided.

    I know you all care-- and I thank you. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers.

    Kim and Kitty
     
  2. Sue and Oliver (GA)

    Sue and Oliver (GA) Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2009
    Thinking of you, Kim, and sending hugs your way.

    The only thing I can do is tell you my story. Oliver loved to eat ; it was the main focus of his life. He woke up asking for breakfast and went to bed asking if we were sure that was all there was. :D When he developed the heart condition and we could only keep him alive by taking him in weekly for a drain of the fluids, I started to worry about his quality of life. But when he stopped eating, I knew it was his way of telling me he was too tired.

    It was hard. I held him in my arms, sobbing that he was such a good kitty and that I loved him (my eyes are filling now, 6 years later). I was so sad for a long time. But I don't regret it. It is a big responsibility making such a decision, but if made out of love, it has to be the right one.

    You will know when she is just too tired. It might be now, it may be later. Whenever, we are all here holding your hand and crying with you.
     
  3. Rob & Harley (GA)

    Rob & Harley (GA) Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2009
    ((((((Kim & Kitty)))))) Gentle hugs holding you both. The tears are flowing and my heart is breaking knowing the agony you must be feeling right now.

    Like Sue I can only tell you about my journey with My Harley. I know I said that it was his kidneys but we both know that his numbers wern't THAT bad, but bad enough to make him feel terrible but it was being treated with meds and fluids. His diabetes was being managed and he had a URI to complicate things. The truth is that he was slowing down, getting tired, having a hard time keeping up with grooming himself. I would carry him to his food dish and he would eat. He wasn't playing with his favorite toys or galloping up and down the hallway. He stopped eating and walking and he cried. Maybe I waited too long, maybe not.

    We all love Kitty, but you are the one who loves her the most and she loves you back, whatever your decision is it will be the right one and we will all be standing with you, surrounding you both with love and support.

    Know that we are sending you peace and strength.

    Robin
     
  4. Angela&Henry

    Angela&Henry Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 8, 2010
    (((hugs))) and prayers.
    You will know in your heart when its the right time; she will let you know.
    Don't give up yet, she may rally again.
    You and Kitty are always in my thoughts. cat_pet_icon
     
  5. Doug N Libby

    Doug N Libby Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2012
    Kim - I wish I could help ease this burden. When a decision needed to made for My Smokey, I couldn't make it. I just could NOT find peace about it. I prayed and cried and repeated the process, but no peace came. I made the decision, but the morning of the appt, we found he was already gone. So, I can understand some of what you're feeling. I continue to pray for strength and comfort for you, that you will know if/when Kitty is finished fighting.

    Hugs and Prayers -

    Libby (and Hershey, too!)
     
  6. owlgal

    owlgal Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 15, 2011
    Oh kim. So sorry to hear about Kitty! Such a hard decision to make and be in. You have done such a great job with kitty and extended her life with such love and quality. I know she thanks you for that. You will know the right time in your heart and kitty will tell you too in her own way. Sometimes the only control our animals have to tell us something if not vocal is by their feeding habits.

    Love ya and you will be in my thoughts and prayers. Leaving for a vacation on sun for a week and will be out of touch. So know that you and kitty will be in my heart the whole time.

    lori
     
  7. Dearest Kim,
    I can share my stories like the others have done. I can recall four times I had to "make the call". Three of them were relatively easy, as cancer was the diagnosis. All inoperable and quick acting and I could tell that all three were miserable so I did what was best for them. It hurt short term, and I still have fond and wonderful memories of my Tar Baby, Niblet and especially my special boy Winkie. The fourth case was the hardest. Boots was 19 years old, and she was the only reason that I met my wife 29 years ago. If not for Bootie Gal, I wouldn't have a beautiful and perfect 25 year-old Daughter. Nothing in my life would be the same, I wouldn't be here in fact, if it wasn't for Boots coming to my front door and mooching food, then deciding to have a litter of kittens under my house the day before her Mom was going to come pick her up and take her to her new home. Paula was just some chick who lived a couple houses over, was moving, and had asked me to watch her for a few days until she could get her new home settled. I'd never even spoken to her until I saw her one day, packing up her stuff. Boots had been coming over every day begging for food and I used to feed my two cats out on the front porch. My very first words to the lady who would become my wife of 28 years was "Hey lady, when you gonna feed your damn cat?" Turned out to be the world's best pick-up line I think. :lol:
    Anyway, we always considered Boots to be the hand of fate that got us together. Flash forward 18 years or so, and Boots was nearing her end. She had a few bumps in the road. She was prone to crystals and at one time had surgery to remove them from her bladder (ate lots and lots of dry food over the years....who knew????). She started not wanting to eat much, but she was still okay, then she lost a lot of weight, and generally was in decline. We brought her to the vet several times, but all they would tell us is "she's old, it's getting near her time". But neither of us wanted to deal with that. Neither of us was willing to be the one to say "It's time". She was our good luck charm, our baby, and we couldn't imagine her not being there any more. She'd raised 3 litters of kittens, and even after she was spayed, any time we'd bring a new kitten into the fold that we had to bottle feed, she'd still be the "mother". She'd let the little brats try to nurse off her and clean them and all that junk. During the last couple of weeks of her long life, it was obvious that it was her time, but we still didn't want to make the call. I still can remember the last night like it was yesterday, and it still makes me cry as I type this. I remember laying on the floor with her for a couple of hours, just petting her and telling her how much I loved her and how grateful I was for the years she blessed our house. I realize now that the look she was giving me said "Dad, it's time, let me go". But when I got up and went to bed, I still didn't see it, or I guess, didn't want to see it. The next morning I got up and found her laying in pretty much the same place, and I went and petted her but she didn't respond. She was still breathing but she wasn't "there" anymore. So she basically forced my hand? I rushed her to the vet and the vet said that she'd had some sort of stroke and there was nothing anyone could do. It was still nearly impossible to say "okay". I wish now, and will always wish, that I had done the best thing for her just one day earlier, so I could have held her and told her I loved her while she could still know it was me with her at the end.
    Now I am not saying that this is where you and Kitty are at, hon. But at some point, it will be, and I am so praying for you that you are able to do this and have a clear mind about it. You love her so, so much, that is so obvious to me and to everyone else who has read any of the things you've said here for, well, for as long as I've been reading your posts. You know what is best for her and for all your furries. I would trust you with MY furries to always to the best for them!

    I wanted to share the story of Boots, I guess mostly because I want you to know that I know where you are right now, hon. I'll be thinking of you and Kitty, and praying for you to be strong. Most of all, I want you to know that you are "right" with any decision you make whether that is today, tomorrow, next week or next year.

    Huge hugs, Kim
    Carl

    Just so you can see what I meant about Bootie's Foster Mom Instinct....
    (Not a great pic because it's a picture of a photograph)


    P.S. The real irony? When we lost Boots, and decided it was time to add a new kitty to the household.... we got Lillian and Bob, as bottle-fed kittens. So, when I say that I wouldn't be here were it not for Boots? I mean that literally. There would have never been a Bob in my life.
     

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  8. Jenn & Baxter

    Jenn & Baxter Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2011
    Kim first off a big hug to you & a soft pat for Kitty. :YMHUG: cat_pet_icon

    You have done such a wonderful job with Kitty. Hang in there! The answers you pray for will come with time.
    I can't imagine how frustrated you must feel & tired you are of fighting the battle. Please get some rest or rent a movie to take your mind off of things even if it's 2 hrs. It will help. You need to keep strong!

    Prayers for you & Kitty. :YMHUG:
     
  9. Barbara

    Barbara Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 10, 2011
    Kim, I have no stories....it's just always hard. Just know you & Kitty are in my thoughts & prayers. :YMHUG:
     
  10. calliecat an marty

    calliecat an marty Member

    Joined:
    Jun 24, 2011
    Kim, my heart is breaking and I am crying right with you :YMHUG: I wish there was something to say or do to ease the pain but I know there is not , Just know all of us love you and everyone in the alley and we all have our arms around you now !!
     
  11. RobbiesMom

    RobbiesMom Member

    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2010
    Kim
    I am so sorry you are going thru this - I know it's torture.
    I think I told a portion of my story of my boy Jerry who was only 4 with HCM - A red tabby Maine Coon maniac - with a 19 inch long Tail and the longest body I've ever seen - sadly he never grew into it because the heart condition stunted his growth but he was still a big boy who played with my girl Roxie, purred while she bathed him and would lick the side of my face for hours if I let him while he perched on my shoulder and neck. He had the silliest face and looked like a cartoon person in a cat suit. For months I thought increasing the lasix so he could breath a bit easier and giving him aspirin so he seemed a bit perkier was the "right" thing - and maybe it was - it gave me lots of time just holding him in my arms and telling him over and over what a special boy he was, how there was really a human in there and I just knew it - how I thought maybe he could rally - even when I could hear the odd sound of his "squishy" heart beat as the blood flowed thru the defective valve. I ran home from work at lunch to just hold him until that one day that I realized he was just sitting there waiting for me to hold him so the liquid didnt fill up in his lungs so much and so he'd feel comforted. That was not the life this young boy had enjoyed, this wasn't a life and he was stressed out and uncomfortable (at least) and while he ate it was less and less and he was drinking water like one of our sugar cats and peeing millions of times a day small amounts walking so slowly to the litter box over and over. It was the hardest decision I'd ever made - my other cat was 21 and had stopped eating, pooping and peeing when I made the call and said goodbye to her and even than I cried for 2 days straight day before and the day of and held her for a long time after she was gone just rocking in a chair- so saying goodbye to a 4 year old baby was unthinkable but he needed me to ease him out of his tortured body. I don't know what made me realize it was time but it was like a BIG click - I remember I was standing at the door saying goodbye to him after my lunch break - and he was looking at me and I just KNEW. Leave your heart open to what your mind is saying and vice versa - you will do the best thing, are doing the best thing. Maybe the stimulent needs a chance, maybe you just need to read all these stories and know that it's NEVER easy and that we ALL know how painful this process is and are behind you 100% in whatever you need to do. Hang in there.
     
  12. kse

    kse Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 10, 2011
    Thanks to all of you for sharing your stories and for being here. Thank you for allowing me to share Kitty and our journey with you. It is because we love them so much, that the parting is so hard. We all walk this path at some time......but, it is never easy.
     
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