Thank you to everyone for your thoughts and kind words. It is so very painful right now but it helps to know that there are so many like minded carers of fur babies across the globe. For us thepassing of Lila means that we are now withoutany fur babies (the first time in over 30 years). In the past 18 months we have lost our beloved Oliver (Blue Burmese Cat 13y) on the road. Maisie our very special 11y old BoxerDog in November this year. And yesterday our beautiful Brown Burmese Lila at 17.5y whoamongst many other things has given us the priveledge of caring for a sugar baby. For the past 15 months we have prioritised her needs as much as humanly possible. We the help and support from this forum we have learntmuch about the complexities of feline diabetes and shared other people'sexperiences and compassion and for that we and Lila will be forever appreciative of. Overthe years we have seen many veterinaryspecialists and vets and used veterinaryhomeopathy and complimentary therapies with our fur babies as we always seek tomake sure we go to the same lengths as we would do for our human family. We have at times been disillusioned with the veterinary profession and of course how the subject of diabetes is not dealt with as fully as it should be by vets. We have seen big changes wherewe live on the Isle of Wight as regards an exceptional old style vet practice that started with the standard 2 partners be taken overand run as part of a bigger chain of practices and standards and continuity of care to drop in the name of progress as vets come and go with alarming regularity. Thankfully yesterday we had the support of vet who we trusted and whose compassion was palpable. Heather took the time to explain as much as possible about where Lila was on her journey and it was this along with how we have witnessed Lila to be slowly declining over the past months that enabled us to make what we believe to be the right decision at the right time for Lila as an individual. We now are left with all the "what ifs" and "did we do enough" and piecing together of events that you try to do at a time like this and to begin coping with life without Lila and indeedwithout any other fur babies to care for right now. We don't know what will happen next in life, but at present for however many weeks or months that follow we need some recovery time for healing. It seemsimpossible to live without a single fur baby but equally impossible to generate what is needed to begin again, no doubt we will but only when the time is right and fate decrees. Sorry for long post. Had to get up at the same time as usual as the alarm has been set for Lilas diabetic routine and there is a degree of comfort in being up early if that makes sense to anyone out there. The hole Lila has left is huge but we were so lucky to have her for17.5 years and trying to focus on that. We have a wonderful Pet Crematorium on the island which is owned by Sue who equally prioritises the fur babies in her life and work. Over the years we have made many too many visits to her. We will make that call and journey again today. The sun is rising right now and it's incredibly hard to start the first day without our beautiful Lila. We have so many memories of her as she was one very special little girl, especially the time in October this year when we took Lila & Maisie on a short break locally and had quality time with both knowing that we may not ever have that opportunity again, so glad we managed that. All this certainly reaffirms the need to live every moment to the full and to focus on the here and now as much as possible.