Tribute to Karre the Emperor --- And: Thank You

Discussion in 'Lantus / Levemir / Biosimilars' started by Jane & Jack & Karre the Emperor, Jun 1, 2013.

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  1. Jane & Jack & Karre the Emperor

    Jane & Jack & Karre the Emperor Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 30, 2009
    Dear Friends

    As the incomparable Terry Pratchett once reminded us, “In ancient times, cats were worshipped as gods. They have not forgotten this.” Our angel cat, His Majesty Karre the Emperor of Basically Everything, remembered it every day of his life, and he made certain none of his minions forgot it either. Karre was born on the 28th of May 1996 in Pretoria, South Africa, with his two brothers Lucci and Beni. They all shared Jack’s birthday – just one of the many miracles of their lives. When they were ten days old, my husband Jack found them under the roof of his house and knew, instantly, that his life had not only been saved, but blessed. He had been in great need of friends who would never, ever fail him. He found three of them, that day.

    He raised the three tiny brothers with an immense, unadulterated love. Beni, a beautiful gray tabby, went missing one day. We choose to believe that someone thought him lost and in need of a loving home. So the two remaining brothers, Lucci and Karre (“Kah-Ri”), went with Jack and his family on the long journey down to Cape Town, where they were given their very own kingdom. They lived happily together until the 4th of July 2009, when Lucci earned his wings on his very own Independence Day. He died at home with the help of our vet, having fought against lymphoma for months before letting us know that he was ready to leave. He came to both Jack and myself individually the day he died, sat next to us purring, and said goodbye as clearly as if he had spoken words aloud. He is buried in the garden under the pink camellia tree he loved.

    I had not known him long yet, then. I first met him and Karre in 2006, when I was between my MA and my PhD universities, and spending a four-month hiatus here in Cape Town to get my bearings. As it turned out, I got a whole lot more. I fell in love with Jack, whom I married four years to the day after we went on a weekend away together as friends and came back as partners for life – we had been friends since Jack and his family moved down to Cape Town. I also fell in love with cats, and especially these two cats, and learned about the sheer miracle of their existence through Lucci and Karre that summer.

    Karre decided that I needed to be taught rather a large number of lessons about my place in the world, especially in relation to *his* place in it, and in Jack’s world in particular. The first night I ever slept over at Jack’s house, Karre jumped up onto the bed and stood directly over my face, his front paws on one side of it, his back paws on the other, and his fuzzy black tummy fur tickling up my nose. He wouldn’t move for several minutes. I was still severely allergic to cats at this point – but even a dim-witted minion such as myself realised in that moment that to move would be madness. When he felt he had demonstrated with sufficient clarity that this bed, and the man in it, were *his * first and would always remain so, he graciously stepped over my face and curled up, purring. He had never before insisted on sleeping in Jack’s bed, and he never did again. I learned my first lesson as a minion to the Emperor.

    In mid-2008, when it became clear that the PhD programme I had chosen was the wrong fit for me, and more importantly, when my father was growing weaker from his own battle with cancer, I moved back to Cape Town. Karre went on educating me about cats – as did Lucci, but in his very own, very gentle way. When my father died, Karre comforted me in ways I would never be able to describe no matter how many dictionaries I learned by rote. In October 2008, Karre himself fell very ill. He was diagnosed with diabetes-induced acute DKA and hepatic lipidosis, and he nearly died. We learned about feline diabetes, joined the marvellous FDMB, forged priceless friendships and connections, and managed to bring Karre back to perfect health. He was insulin-free for three and a half years.

    Last winter, when he was sixteen, his health began to decline. He developed pancreatitis. Then cholangiohepatitis. He had bouts of anorexia, and we went through some times together when we were very frightened that he was readying himself to make his journey away from us. Still, every time, he found his way back.

    This time, he really was ready. Those of you who have experienced animal communication situations, and probably many of you who have not tried out any “official” animal communicators or communication, won’t struggle to imagine it – he told us he was ready to leave. Jack took a course in animal communication. I have always had my own ways when it comes to that. But he told us both. He was tired. He was weary of fighting. He felt his body failing. He wanted release.

    A few weeks ago, he developed an extremely high fever out of the blue. At the vet, he was diagnosed with unexplained enterotoxaemia. He was bleeding internally. Again, he nearly died. The vet told us that when we took him home, he was amazed that he had survived and fought his way back.

    We think he stayed for our sake. To give us time to be ready – as ready as anyone can ever be to break their own heart in releasing another’s. To give us time to go and talk and cry and struggle through the endless cycles of doubt, fear, sadness and knowing, with that immense pain, that none of those changed anything about the fact that here was a cat ready to leave. When was discharged from hospital after three days, he seemed to rally a little. He ate on his own for a couple of days, if tentatively. He accepted his meds and the syringe-feedings with few objections. But once the antibiotic course was completed, the fever returned instantly and with equal force. We took him back to the vet. He went back on antibiotics. We learned how to give subQ fluids. We syringe-fed.

    And then he stopped eating. He simply refused. When previously he had accepted a little food when we offered it by hand and sat for a long time encouraging him, he now simply turned his face away quietly. Jack and I spent tearful days and nights thinking and talking about what to do. And then, a few days ago, we tried to ask him. Both in our own ways. Karre’s answer was clear. He wanted to go on his journey. He was weary and tired of being ill. He would never again accept syringe-feeding. We tried to make him understand, in whatever ways we could, that if he did not eat, he would die. We feel that he replied, in his own way, that he knew that, and he was alright with that. He was ready.

    That day, a few days ago, we told him that we will respect his wishes, and we would stop syringe-feeding him. We would continue the fluids and the antibiotics, but it was his choice whether or not to eat. By now, he had grown so weak – having lost over a kilo of his bodyweight in a mere matter of weeks – that he could not make it into or out of his bed in one go. He’d have to stop and rest in between. He would shake and tremble with weakness and effort. Before, he had begun to fight the syringe-feeding so hard that afterwards what little strength he had left was utterly used up, and he would lie, unmoving, for hours, exhausted. We considered a feeding tube. But we rejected it because of what we feel Karre told us, and because of some of the things we ourselves have experienced with humans who were dying. A human being can speak out and refuse food, medication, or other help. For Karre, forcing food into him when he had chosen not to eat any felt wrong in every possible way. Feeding tubes save lives and have their absolutely unquestionable place in treating anorexia – but not for our Emperor. He did not want it.

    So, on Thursday, Jack and sat discussing the options as tears came and went and Karre lay beside us with his eyes open. I wonder if he was listening. He decided we would have another conversation with our vet about the options, which we did, on Friday. When we had described Karre’s condition, the vet simply said that a worsening downward spiral could be a terrible thing both to watch and to have to live through, and that he agrees that it is an act of decency and love to offer a beloved animal an ending when they do still have their dignity. Karre changed, after the conversation we had beside him. He got up and ate four times. Since then, he has again refused food resolutely. It was as if he was relieved to know that he would no longer be stopped from walking the path he chose.

    On Friday (yesterday), the sun came out again. On Thursday, it had been raining all day – but while we drove up from the vet’s practice, and Jack and I were talking about how we thought this was the right choice for Karre, a rainbow appeared. A vast double rainbow that lit up the sky for a few seconds. In under a minute, it vanished again. But we both hoped it was a sign of peace for all of us and the choice that was made. And on Friday, Karre had a beautiful little quarter of an hour in the sunshine on the lawn in the garden, being brushed, purring, smelling the breeze. I told him over and over again that I love him so much and always will. I asked him to forgive me for crying in front of him, and for not being able to make him well again the way we had hoped. I told him what beautiful friendships he has given me, by being diabetic and bringing me to FDMB. I said how grateful I am to know him, and to have loved him – and served him as a faithful minion, of course, because this Emperor insists on laughter and courage even in darkness – and that I was so very sorry that we would have to say goodbye for now. All I got from him was a feeling of immeasurable, impenetrable peace. He was looking inward. Not into my eyes. But inward, to where he was going.

    Jack is losing a soulmate and friend of almost two decades. I am losing a great teacher, and one of the great loves of my life. We are heartbroken. But at the same time, we feel it was the time Karre himself chose, and there is a little comfort in that.

    The vet is coming this afternoon. Karre’s grave will be beside Lucci’s, filled with one of every flower in our garden – there are hundreds. The African Pride is saying goodbye to their fearless, stoic, beautiful leader, and none of us will ever forget what a great, great blessing it was to have Karre in our lives. We will think of him and love him every day, until maybe, one morning, we will happen upon a fiercely royal little black kitten and recognise in him a soul we have longed for since he left us. They do have nine lives. They were worshipped as gods.

    Karre was worshipped as the Emperor he was. He was loved every single day of his life. He felt safe and happy. We say goodbye to him in deepest sorrow, but also in the deepest gratitude to have known and loved him, and to have been, in every way, in the presence of greatness.

    Thank each and every one of you who took part in Karre’s journey. Thank you all for the kind words you have already posted in the condo Linda opened for us – and thank you so much, Linda, for your wonderful kindness in doing this. I have posted this condo now, a few hours before the vet arrives, because I am not certain I will manage to post later on. Thank you all for thinking of our Emperor today as he makes his way to the bridge. We know that thanks to all of you, and the love we all feel for him, Karre the Emperor’s journey will not be a lonely one, and that he will be greeted by his kind – by angel cats.

    Jane, Jack, Maggie, Luca and Henry.

    Here is a photo of Karre on the blanket I knitted him for his 17th Birthday a few days ago. We love you Karre. We always will. Safe journey, dear friend. Fly free.

    [​IMG]
    Condo posted by Linda and Bear Man
     
  2. Dyana

    Dyana Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2009
    Re: Tribute to Karre the Emperor

    Love you, Beautiful Karre
     
  3. EllenandRover

    EllenandRover Member

    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2011
    Re: Tribute to Karre the Emperor

    What a beautiful tribute. Bless you and Jack for being such a loving companion to this noble beast and his kin.
     
  4. Re: Tribute to Karre the Emperor

    Jack and Jane,
    Peace to you, my friends.
    C
     
  5. carfurby (GA)

    carfurby (GA) Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2012
    Re: Tribute to Karre the Emperor

    That's a fitting tribute to the Emporer. Fly free sweet Karre. Hugs and prayers to Jane and Jack and the rest of the African Pride.
     
  6. Michelle and Mannie (GA)

    Michelle and Mannie (GA) Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2009
    Re: Tribute to Karre the Emperor

    Fly Free Karre. I know I will never forget you. None of us will.

    Hugs to all Jane. I know the choice for Karre is the right one. I hope the day can be filled with wonderful memories. The tribute is wonderful. Thinking of you today.
     
  7. Ann & Maggie11 (GA)

    Ann & Maggie11 (GA) Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2010
    Re: Tribute to Karre the Emperor

    (((Jane))) What a love story and beautiful tribute to Karre.
     
  8. Sienne and Gabby (GA)

    Sienne and Gabby (GA) Senior Member Moderator

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2009
    Re: Tribute to Karre the Emperor

    (((((Jane & Jack)))))

    Thank you for eloquently sharing Karre's journey with us. It is a tale befitting the Emperor of Basically Everything. You have captured not only how Karre holds a piece of your heart but how all of our kitties nestle themselves into our hearts and become quietly central to our lives. It is a profound loss to no longer have the physical presence of such small beings who become such an immense part of our world. Karre will always be in your hearts -- much like he will be remembered here in Lantus Land -- and he will rest in his beloved garden. He will never be far from you. While today brings tears, the days ahead will bring bittersweet smiles. After all, how else but in smiles can you honor the Emperor of Basically Everything.

    Fly free Karre and land softly. Candles will guide your way to the Bridge. Many from Lantus Land will be there to keep you safe and content until you are reunited with the ones you love best.

    [​IMG]
     
  9. Caryl & Sebastian & Alex (GA)

    Caryl & Sebastian & Alex (GA) Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2009
    Re: Tribute to Karre the Emperor

    I am very sorry for your loss :'(
     
  10. Melissa & Tarragon

    Melissa & Tarragon Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2011
    Re: Tribute to Karre the Emperor

    So very sorry. ((((Hugs)))). Fly free little one and land softly.
     
  11. Linda and Bear Man

    Linda and Bear Man Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2009
    Re: Tribute to Karre the Emperor

    (((((Jack))))) (((((Jane)))))

    This is so very sad. Your tribute was lovely. Thank you for telling the story of his life. What a magnificent life Karre lived. It is certain that no cat was ever more loved. I know how sadly you both will miss him. He has been such a special cat to me as well, ever since I came to know him here on the board, and I will always be grateful to him for bringing you into my life. I will miss him as I would one of my own. I am haunted by the photo of him resting so peacefully in his blanket. It is so beautiful, and fitting, that he will be laid to rest with all the flowers from the garden that he loved so much. He takes his rightful place now to lead the angel cats at the Bridge. I hope that he is able to send you rainbows to let you know that he has arrived safely. The world is a sadder place today, but one more star shine brightly in the heavens.

    With my very deepest condolences,

    For now,

    Linda
     
  12. Anne & Zener GA

    Anne & Zener GA Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 26, 2011
    Re: Tribute to Karre the Emperor

    What a beautiful story and a wonderful life. Words cannot express our sorrow at your imminent loss. Farewell Karre the Emperor of Everything. You are beloved by many. We will watch over your beans while they grieve your passage.
     

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  13. Lisa & Leo

    Lisa & Leo Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 2, 2012
    Re: Tribute to Karre the Emperor

    What a wonderful tribute. I have tears in my eyes of sadness, but also of hope and happiness in some way that you were all able to have your collective and individual conversations among yourselves and with Karre that he made his decision, his minions have come to support him and that he will lay in the fields with all the beautiful flowers. I think about all the pictures you've posted and can't think of a more wonderful place to be. Peace be with all of you, and light wings for Karre the Emperor, who helped Leo way back when get his bean all straightened out in the steps of the sugar dance and to master mind control of beans. ((((hugs))))
     
  14. Hillary & Maui (GA)

    Hillary & Maui (GA) Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2009
    Re: Tribute to Karre the Emperor

    What a lovely tribute to one so loved. Fly free Karre, feel the love guiding you on your journey.
     
  15. jt and trouble (GA)

    jt and trouble (GA) Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2009
    Re: Tribute to Karre the Emperor

    Karre has been here since I can remember...Thank you so much for sharing this beautiful tribute and life story.
    Please accept my sincere condolences in this heartbreaking loss.. but if anything Karre taught us all how to live.
    Good night sweet Emporer. Land ever so softly in the land of Kings,
    jeanne

    http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/mes ... d=18651595
     
  16. Frosty

    Frosty Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 27, 2012
    Re: Tribute to Karre the Emperor

    Jane, I'm so sorry to hear of your loss of Karre. What a wonderful tribute.
     
  17. Deborah & Shasta

    Deborah & Shasta Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 12, 2012
    Re: Tribute to Karre the Emperor

    ((Jack & Jane)) Peace and blessings to you both. Karre, Emperor of Everything will always be worshiped and adored by all.

    Fly free, sweet Karre. Your kingdom awaits, but I know you will continue to watch over your family from beyond the Rainbow Bridge because that is what Emperors do.

    [​IMG]
     
  18. MJ+Donovan

    MJ+Donovan Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2009
    Re: Tribute to Karre the Emperor

    Thank you for sharing your beautiful journey with Karre with all of us here...

    [​IMG]

    MJ
     
  19. Cleo & Jane (GA)

    Cleo & Jane (GA) Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 6, 2013
    Re: Tribute to Karre the Emperor

    Our deepest condolences - Sounds like he had a wonderful life and was very loved.
     
  20. Jennifer&Cain(GA)

    Jennifer&Cain(GA) Member

    Joined:
    Apr 1, 2013
    Re: Tribute to Karre the Emperor

    That was a beautiful tribute. My condolences on your loss. :(
     
  21. Marje and Gracie

    Marje and Gracie Senior Member Moderator

    Joined:
    May 30, 2010
    Re: Tribute to Karre the Emperor

    Karre could not have ever hoped for a more poignant tribute from the ones he loves the most. ((((Jane and Jack)))) Words do not convey the sorrow felt.

    I recently saw this poem. "The Ridge" written by Carol Notermann and thought it was so beautiful and so full of hope and promise.

    It’s been such a lovely summer, I’ve been napping in the sun.
    This morning, other cats and I enjoyed a long long run.
    We chased butterflies together. I climbed high into a tree.
    And now I think what woke me up was that small bumble bee.

    I’ve yawned and stretched, and still I feel that something has begun.
    He’s standing there in robes of white, and telling me to come.
    I always run to Him you know, when He comes across the bridge
    To see if we’re all having fun and if we’ve checked the ridge.

    He gives tummy rubs to all of us and pets and cuddles too
    I’m glad to see Him every day, when He comes into view.
    Each day He takes a different cat, and chats with them a while
    Then off that kitty starts to run. I swear they seem to smile.

    But now He’s stopped in front of me. He’s said a name I know.
    He said to look out towards the ridge. The sun is setting low.
    I start to walk out toward the ridge, and then what’s that I see.
    IT’S YOU! IT’S YOU! It’s really you. You’ve come to be with me!

    My goodness you are running and I am running too!
    You stop to bend, but I can jump and now I am with you.
    I feel your kisses on my head, as I did in long off days
    You’re holding me and hugging me, and into your eyes I gaze.

    And now He’s walking with us, as you carry me once more
    We’ve crossed Rainbow Bridge together. We’re here at Heaven’s door.
    And He has held it open, and told us to walk through
    That from now on and forever, I can always be with you.
     
  22. RichNW & Rex

    RichNW & Rex Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 30, 2012
    Re: Tribute to Karre the Emperor

    Jane & Jack,

    Thanks you for sharing your tribute and your love for Karre!

    I will keep you in my prayer!!!!!
     
  23. Wendy&Neko

    Wendy&Neko Senior Member Moderator

    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2012
    Re: Tribute to Karre the Emperor

    (((((Jane))))) ((((Jack))))
    What a beautiful tribute to a very special and well loved cat. Jane, you have a wonderful way with words, and the love of Karre's minions is very evident in how you write. There is much sorrow here, both at my place and in LL today. You contributed so much to LL, especially the company in the wee hours overnight for us. My condolences in the loss of the Emperor.

    More BIG HUGS. :YMHUG: :YMHUG:
     
  24. Doug N Libby

    Doug N Libby Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2012
    Re: Tribute to Karre the Emperor

    BIG HUG!!
     
  25. katlady1974

    katlady1974 Member

    Joined:
    Apr 29, 2013
    Re: Tribute to Karre the Emperor

    that was a beautiful tribute to Karre. i'm truly so sorry for your loss :YMHUG: :YMHUG: :YMHUG:
     
  26. rhiannon and shadow (GA)

    rhiannon and shadow (GA) Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 9, 2012
    Re: Tribute to Karre the Emperor

    (((((((((((Jane)))))))))))
    I'm so sorry. You gave him your all....
    I thought about you all day wishing I had something worthwhile to say and there never are adequate words....
    Praying for your broken heart and wishing your memories of Karre will fill your heart.
    I also pray for some good things to come in your life.... you've had such a hard year....
    HUGS.....
    Fly Free Karre....
    [​IMG]
     
  27. Wendy&Tiggy(GA)

    Wendy&Tiggy(GA) Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 15, 2011
    Re: Tribute to Karre the Emperor

    What a nice tribute to your beautiful boy. ((Hugs))
     
  28. Ella & Rusty & Stu(GA)

    Ella & Rusty & Stu(GA) Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2010
    Re: Tribute to Karre the Emperor

    Farewell, Emperor Karre. Watch over your beloved family and send them a rainbow from the Bridge.

    Dear (((((Jack and Jane))))), May your memories of Karre always bring smiles to your hearts. Thank you, Jane, for this beautiful, loving tribute to a remarkable kitty.

    In deepest sympathy,

    Ella & Edward, Rusty, and Stu (GA)
     
  29. Jane & Jack & Karre the Emperor

    Jane & Jack & Karre the Emperor Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 30, 2009
    Re: Tribute to Karre the Emperor

    Thank all of you for your wonderful posts, thoughts and words. I will try to reply properly tomorrow. Today is still a lost day. But please know how grateful I am, and we all are, for all this kindness, love and support.
    Jane
     
  30. Pat+Raja+Shadow (GA)

    Pat+Raja+Shadow (GA) Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2009
    Re: Tribute to Karre the Emperor

    That was a beautiful tribute to Karre....he will be missed.....
    Thank you so very much for sharing his story with us....may your memories of him bring you peace....
    (((Jane & Jack)))
    Fly Free Beautiful Karre..... until we meet again... wings_cat
     
  31. GraceAndAngie

    GraceAndAngie Member

    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2013
    Re: Tribute to Karre the Emperor

    (((Jane and Jack)))

    Thank you for sharing that beautiful tribute.

    Fly free Karre. You will always reside in the hearts of those who love you.
     
  32. Var-ee and Rory

    Var-ee and Rory Member

    Joined:
    Apr 13, 2013
    Re: Tribute to Karre the Emperor

    what a beautiful tribute.. this was such a moving story I am so sorry for your loss :(
    Karre sounded like an amazing companion
    /\,,/\
    (='•'=)♪♫
    (,,(")(") ♥ℓღ√є♥
     
  33. Sweeties-Mom

    Sweeties-Mom Member

    Joined:
    Feb 21, 2013
    Re: Tribute to Karre the Emperor

    Wow - what a wonderful tribute to an incredible sugarcat! I'm so sorry for your loss.
    rb_icon Karre is happy and free now playing at the rainbow bridge with his brothers rb_icon
    wings_cat
     
  34. Jamie & Jupiter

    Jamie & Jupiter Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 14, 2013
    Re: Tribute to Karre the Emperor

    I am so sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you and your family. A very beautiful tribute to your wonderful Karre. Fly free Karre
     
  35. CD and BigMac

    CD and BigMac Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2009
    Re: Tribute to Karre the Emperor

    Beautiful tribute. He sure was a fortunate kitty to have been loved by you and Jack.

    Hugs to you both (((Jane and Jack)))
     
  36. Jane & Jack & Karre the Emperor

    Jane & Jack & Karre the Emperor Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 30, 2009
    Re: Tribute to Karre the Emperor

    Greetings, Lantus Land. It's me, Jane.

    As I just wrote in the condo Linda (of Linda & Bear Man) was so kind to post for Jack and myself when Karre was about to cross the bridge - here is the link to Linda's posted condo - I really did mean to reply earlier to all of your wonderful messages of love and comfort and shared sorrow.

    Even as I sit here typing, I feel the tears gathering, as they have been for days - although, as is typical for me, I have not cried for Karre since he died. It takes me a while, when Ihave lost someone. Maybe it is because there are so often others grieving too, and I feel a stronger urge to be there for them, to offer them a lttle comfort, than I do to give in to my own grief. This time, it is Jack for whom I want to be strong. I have never witnessed this kind of pain and sadness, and I find myself holding my breath when I remember last Saturday, and the unfathomable loss my darling Jack faced so bravely.

    I know I will cry, soon. I can feel the day waiting in the wings, when I will wake up sobbing, having dreamed of our Emperor, and I know I will not notice the hours passing me, that day. I will be at sea. But not today.

    Today, it is time to thank you all.

    I suspect that Jack and I are among the furthest removed Lantus Landers, living as we do at the southern tip of Africa. Still, your words of support, your condolences, your messages of sadness and love, and - fittingly, as ever - admiration or the astounding, glorious cat our Karre was, made me (and us both) feel as though you all had stood with us at his grave. It rained and rained, that morning. As Jack and I set out to collect flowers from all around our garden, it poured down as though the very sky were mourning with us. I remember that, at one point, I stopped and looked up, raindrops beating at my face, and shouted that we wouldn't stop until we had one of every flower, no matter how much it rained. After that, it rained even harder.

    Our vet clinic has three vets at the moment. The one who was always wonderful with Karre, Dr. Mauch, came to our home at noon. Karre lay sleeping in his nest. Sally, the vet tech, gently held Karre's head as the vet shaved Karre's front leg in order to find a vein. Karre did not move. The vet placed the needle, and Jack lifted Karre up onto his knees, so that he could cradle him in his arms. Karre did not fight. The injection went in. Karre's eyes emptied. It was the worst moment of all, to me.

    When Dr. Mauch had made certain that Karre's body had let go of life, he quietly packed his things, and I brought him and his assistant to the door and thanked them. When they had left, I went back inside to Jack. I have know this man for what feels for all the world like centuries. I know the darkness he has faced in his life. But I have never, ever, seen him cry this way.

    We had chosen one of Jack's favourite shirts to wrap Karre in. It still smelled of Jack. Isn't it silly of me, to find comfort in that - that Karre had Jack's smell around him when he had already left... I chose a red silk scarf to give to Karre, to line his grave with. He loved red. His favourite tub chair was a deep royal red, the colour of my scarf. I felt it was what the Emperor should have.

    In the rain - gentler now, but never subsiding - we carried our Emperor through th garden to his grave, next to Lucci's, his litter mate's, and lined it with the scarf and many, many flowers. When we had laid him down, we covered him with flowers. When we had filled it up again with the earth and what was left of our hearts, we covered the grave with flowers.

    * * * * * * *

    The next few days, I found myself looking for him. Seeing him not being there, everywhere. On my facebook page, which to me is much like a diary (which explain why I have so few people on my "list" there), I wrote - "Emptied of tears, the space within fills with the details of absence, and the darkening echoes of a great going. This absence is palpable, as a foreigner who has trespassed upon your very heart. I see him missing, everywhere. When I look down at my hand, I see my fingers nestled in his glorious night-coloured coat, the silk of which, once a gentle comfort, is suddenly wrapped invisibly around my throat. How can something be real that goes against all that, against all I would have fought for even harder than I did, if I had only found another way? It is not doubt, not regret - these do not touch me, knowing as I do that it was our Emperor who chose, and we who obeyed. It is loss, oh, loss and grief and sorrow. Would it cripple me less cruelly, were the parallels to my father's death less straight ahead for me to see? What justice is there in lamenting that one cannot bear more loss, when one knows, in the merciless clarity of the small hours in the night, that one can, oh, one always, always can... I cannot yet seem to bring myself to reply to all the kind messages of love. I shall try again tomorrow. Thank you all. I thank you all. Please forgive me - I want to thank you the way you deserve. But words, my beloved words...even they are hiding from my furious darkness."

    I know you all understand.

    I want to apologise for not replying sooner - although I know you understand that, too. Please know how very, very much itmeans to both Jack and myself, that you all gathered together and thought of Karre as he went on his journey. The kindness and love and comfort you all sent to us is an incredible gift, and a blessing I count every day.

    Thank you all, once again, for being a part of our journey here on FDMB, and for being a part of Karre's journey too. Thank you, also, to those of you - I saw Anne&Liz&Zener, and Michelle&Mannie; please forgive me if I have missed others - who spoke so lovingly of us and so sadly of Karre's impending journey in your own condos. And thank you, simply, for being there all of you. My heart goes out to each of you - and especially to those who have, in the past days, also said farewell to their darlings. Nothing can lessen the pain - but the comfort of this place can give one hope again that there will always be, as there always has been, the great love that we all feel for our companions. Furry or less so.

    I will give myself a little time. And then, I will send a few PMs - you guys know who your are - and see about coming back and helping out, the way I always want to keep doing to the best of my ability.

    In the meantime, please know that regardless of never having met most of you, you have my love and my prayers with you each day. And my deep gratitude for everything you have done for us, and the African Pride.

    I leave you with two photographs. The first is of Karre's grave, next to Lucci's. We are still waiting for his gravestone. I will post a photograoh when we have placed it. The second is of the great loves in my life - Beni( although I was not lucky enough to meet him), Lucci (GA 4th of July 2009), and Karre the Emperor of Basically Everything (GA 1st of June 2013). And my darling Jack, behind them, protecting and loving them the way he always did, and the way he, miraculously, does me.

    We love you Karre. Come back to us one day.

    All my love, and many many grateful regards from Jack.
    Jane

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]
     
  37. mtncat58

    mtncat58 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2013
    That was such a great Tribute you wrote,the love you felt will never leave and will stay forever in your hearts.

    Lucky and Linda :smile:
     
  38. Jane & Jack & Karre the Emperor

    Jane & Jack & Karre the Emperor Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 30, 2009
    Thank you, Linda and Lucky.
     
  39. Jane & Jack & Karre the Emperor

    Jane & Jack & Karre the Emperor Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 30, 2009
    Thank you, Linda and Lucky.
     
  40. Ann & Tess GA

    Ann & Tess GA Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 7, 2010
    We can only join in your sorrow on the periphery, but know that our hearts weep with you and Jack.

    Fly Free Great Emperor and find joy in your reunion with Lucci. Send a sign to ease the grieving hearts you have left behind.

    [​IMG]
     
  41. Jane & Jack & Karre the Emperor

    Jane & Jack & Karre the Emperor Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 30, 2009
    Thank you ((Ann and Tess))
     
  42. donnahc

    donnahc Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2011
    So sorry to see this news Jane. May all the happy memories of Karre get you thru this. Peace to you and your family.
    wings_cat
     
  43. Simon'sMommy

    Simon'sMommy Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 10, 2013
    I am new to this community, but I wanted to send my condolences on the loss of your dear Emperor Karre. Your words show how very loved he was. A most beautiful tribute for a most beautiful soul. Land softly sweet Karre wings_cat
     
  44. Jane & Jack & Karre the Emperor

    Jane & Jack & Karre the Emperor Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 30, 2009
    Thank you, Donna and Joyce. Joyce, welcome to FDMB and to Lantus Land.
    Hugs,
    Jane
     
  45. Lisa & Leo

    Lisa & Leo Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 2, 2012
    Jane - the picture of Jack and the kitties is a spectacular one. Wow. (((many more hugs)))
     
  46. GregFurBall

    GregFurBall Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 20, 2012
    Jane and Jack-
    My heart is saddened to hear of the passing of Karre. I've been away from the board a lot in May due to traveling and crazy busyness. Just today I wanted to check in and say this post. Karre and Jane spent many hours with Fur Ball and me, late night posts helping us steer those low numbers. And Karre looks so much like my Baxter (GA). Hugs and much love being sent to you as you grieve, that some day the sweet memories will be the ones that stay rather than the deep loss and ache to be with Karre.

    :YMHUG: Karen
     
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