Re: 1/16 Sami - AMPS 396 - +3 361; +6 284; +9 230
msarobix said:
I try to show respect to everyone who is trying to help, but when someone comes off as being authorative a know-it all it turns me off. I understand that there are some people who have been here for years, and they have a lot of experience with this, but for me that doesn't make them more knowledgeable then the next person, only having more experience. As I have seen from so many spreadsheets that almost every cat is different and reacts differently to the insulin, so all I can to is listen to the opinions that everyone gives, and do what I feel is best. And hope that if I make the wrong decision I don't get yelled at. Understand that this is all very new to me and with all the information overload it is very difficult to decide what to do.
It is hard to decide what to do. Even with my background, it's hard to decide what to do. There is so much to understand. I've been new...still am, frankly, and I totally "get it".
Believe it or not, I'm a lot like you. I have the absolute worst time learning something by reading it. I am left with "kay, fine. Erm, what??" But if I do it on the floor, with a real live, sick patient, then it all makes sense to me. Once I've done it 20 times, and then go read the book, it makes complete sense. So yeah, we're a lot alike. The difference is that I'm 44, and have learned that there are a whole lot of people who've already done this, and are willing to help me...if I can shut up and listen, and take direction. I've learned, at 44, that I don't need to invent the wheel yet again...just take what I've been taught, and go with it. It's a lot easier that way, believe me.
And I will also say that experience does indeed make someone far more knowledgable. It's one thing to learn it from a book, and a far different thing to do it in practice...time and again, over and over. Experience makes people far more educated than just a book...which is why neurosurgeons don't start out that way...they can read a book, sure, but they're not cutting into my brain unless they've done it on others - and the others have survived. LOL. They have years of experience behind them before they're neurosurgeons...that experience is what counts, not the book knowledge.
I see now that perhaps I should have stuck with the protocol and not increased under the advice of my vet. But like many people sometimes I need to make a mistake to see my error and now that I do I will do my best to stick with the protocol. I should have learned this when I first arrived on this board, because after two weeks of numbers all over the place (even with a meter that was reading low) Sami's numbers were stabilizing once I started to follow the advice given on this board, but I didn't and now I am learning yet another lesson.
Let me see if I can recap what's happened in your head. You got the dx, and got very scared. You read everything you could find. You talked to your vet, who you see as an experienced, knowledgable person. The vet said "X", and that became the rules to live by. Then...you came here, where we say 'well, X isn't exactly right. We need A, B, C...and btw, we also need 1, 2, 3. And after that's done, we want you to do X1,B3,C2, A1.'. And that's scary now, too, because there are things happening which you weren't told about, and which show you that maybe your vet is not the end-all of what's right. And you feel like you're spinning around, and have no idea what you're supposed to do...and all you want is someone to tell you "if you do this, all will be well" so you can just do that and get back to lovin' on Sami instead of being scared all the time.
How close am I? LOL, I say all that because that's exactly what I went through. Truth is, no one can say 'do X and all will be well'. That is the issue with chronic illness. We do this one day, that the next, and are still left scratching our heads when yet another variable shows up and says "BOO".
I totally get it, Tina. I really do. What you need to do now is get very open, and willing to listen to those who can get you through this and into some sort of regularity and control over this. You really need to just take a big breath, put the ego aside, and say 'yeah, I'm scared. These folks can help, but it may be a day by day thing for a while, and until I know what I'm doing, I need to just trust them.' It's all right to be scared, and to feel out of control. It's where we all started. And not one of us have forgotten it.
I am sorry if any one felt like I was being rude or unappreciative, but when you get yelled at sometime you can come off defensive even if you don't mean to be.
I hope everyone can understand where I am coming from; everyone of use has been a newbie and trying to understand everything and do everything possible to make their kitty feel better.
Tell you what. Do me a huge favor, and go grab Sami. Shove your face in her belly, and breathe in her love. Rub your face along hers. Scritch her chin. Rub her happy spot, and tell her you love her, and that things will come right. Take 5 minutes and do this with her, all right? Just take 5 minutes and reconnect with your cat...and then relax and know you're in some of the best hands around and they can get you through this if you let them.
Best-
Michele
