@MrWorfMen's Mom I'm know what you are saying and I agree. The tough thing about my situation is that during the day its actually impossible for me to leave Ashley at home alone because I never know who is going to do what around my block , if a plumber will come here to due work in one of the other apartments, any possible senerio. She hurts so bad that she can't even pick up a gallon of milk herself, cook because the heat makes her eyes swell, can't open a window, I'm not even exaggerating.
I know it's hard to believe, but it's true. Example had to food shop and the store is only 3 blocks away, went in the day and she called me, electrician was in the basement putting all new meters in, 5 of them. Had to drill for some reason, I had to leave my cart and get home ASAP to get her out of their, same thing in the summer with people mowing lawns, snow blowers, every thing. So I asked the town today, why does the tree have to come down, said their is a broken water pipe that needs to be fixed and the tree was in the way, I said are you kidding me, so next week the town will be back to jack hammer the street to get to the pipe, so will have to leave again. Probably beginning early this coming to start.
So I have to do everything at night, laundry mat, close to my house, once I had to leave there to go and get here out of the house.
When I have a doctors appointment I have to take her to my sisters and hope nothing happens there, if something is going on by there I have to take her with me and cage waits in the car because waiting rooms are noisy and TV is blasting. Not good when she hurting or got no sleep.
Just so many things we have to think about ahead off time. She has had it and doesn't know why she can't get the courage to end it. She is tired of living like this especially since there is no future for her. You can't escape sound.
Maybe at night I can manage to go to my girlfriends for a cup of coffee for an hour.
Other than that I can't leave her alone. She just wishes she could take a pill and go to sleep and never wake up,. Like the two drugs they give you for terminal people , Dying With Dignity, You don't have to plan out your death days in advance like taking Zofran a day before every 6-8 he's , stop eating a day before , then take call the drugs you have and hope it works. So you have a day or two to think about it.
I know this sounds so awful but that's the way it is.
Her girlfriend who I told you about was lucky enough she had the right combination of meds and it worked
I hope I am not freaking you out, but she has no quality of life.
I don't know what I would do without her, so now I just watch her suffer, she can't even cry because that brings on pain, I just don't know anymore. The loneliness and depression is killing her.
All she does is sleep all day and is up all night until about 9 am, then back to sleep
I am so very sorry I talk to you about this, I hope you don't mind, if so I truly understand my friend,
Nothing is easy. Will talk later
@MrWorfMen's Mom
@Beth 73