1/6, Bell, AMPS 252 +2 260 +4 253 PMPS 379

[bluesunshine]

Yesterday

Hard day. Long story short, I'm probably going to have to leave my job of 12+ years. My supervisor (and me) need to take some time to see if we can figure something out, but the powers that be are being extremely strict about the "return to office" policy. I think not being able to give guarantees on how long Bell's condition will last or how consistent I can be day-to-day makes it hard to sell this as a temporary exemption. There's no hurry for me to be out the door, the official policy doesn't start until Feb, so I have some time to gameplan things. My supervisor was very very kind to me about it and really tried to go to bat for me today. I think we both were a bit emotional by the end of today.

Coming home to discover all the little piles of Bell vomit around my apartment did give me the reassurance that I can't do a full in office schedule at this point. She has to eat every couple hours but isn't food motivated enough to do it without encouragement. She waits too long and then scarfs and barfs. Sigh.

She did realize I was upset when I came home and made me lay down so she could get on my chest and cuddle. She is a very in tune to things like that.

Weird cycle today. I hope I didn't miss a dive this afternoon while I was at work. She has dove that fast 12/19, 12/22, and 12/30, though. All around the 3rd cycle of a dose increase. But for all those cycles she managed to stick the greens out for a long period. I hope I didn't put her in danger by not being here to feed the curve. Most likely she just didn't dip that low. Ugh, we shall never know.

 

[bluesunshine]

 

[bluesunshine]

Hello Seth! I love Bell's pictures and Blair is beautiful as well.
It is such a frustrating disease. you are doing everything you can and there is no guarantee that her numbers will show it. It takes so much patience!
About her eye: in the winter, Bella often has watery eyes, sometimes I clean them with serum. I think in her case it's from the dry heat and dust from the vents.

Thank you, Cecile! I am guessing it is something minor like you mentioned here. I'm just being nervous about the whole acromegaly possibility. I will try and clean them for her. Bella does love her heating vents

 

[bluesunshine]

Look at those two ... adorable! Good luck with everything this week. As you say, deep breaths ...

Thanks so much Karen!

 

[bluesunshine]

Hi Seth, sorry you have so much to deal with at the moment. I think we can only do our best and you are doing an amazing job with Bell. I hope the tests bring some clarity and peace of mind soon. Fingers are still crossed for your negotiations today. And of course for sweet Bell to come down to better numbers. Are Bell and Blair sisters? Love that picture.

Thank you so much, Heike! You are always so good at remember what is going on with everyone and giving support. I appreciate it so much! They actually aren't sisters, at least highly unlikely. I got them just days apart but from different shelters. Bell was had been at a no-kill shelter for almost 2 years . Once I saw that, I knew she was coming home with me. The first time I tried to pick her up she clung to her giant bowl of kibble . Reading her medical report, they found her emaciated (under 5 lbs) with a really bad infected cut and then nursed her back to health. I am glad she found her way to me. Even if she is a ton of work

 

[Wendy&Neko]

So sorry to hear about the work situation. . I don't know how these companies are going to react when they realize people are leaving rather than come into the office all the time. My job years ago, there were a lot of colleagues who worked at home, and that's just how it worked and had for years. We do have caregivers here who work full time jobs and follow TR, but I don't know how you can handle the frequent meal requirement.

FWIW, I don't think she dove down low today.

 

[bluesunshine]

Thank you, Wendy!

I think from a high level they are building attrition into this decision, realizing that next year will be a down year. The icing on the cake is that half of my team is in a different country and time zone, so we are usually sitting in the office on our phones and screen sharing during meetings anyway.

At one point today my supervisor said he thought we could satisfy these requirements if I drove back and forth during the day to check on Bell, meaning I’d spend 2+ hours of my day commuting for the sake of “being in office” during certain hours. He said he’d rather have 60% me than lose me entirely. We just had to morbidly laugh on how ridiculous that proposal was. I have a lot of respect for him. Never once made me feel bad or embarrassed about doing something this drastic for “just a cat”. He was just mostly concerned about me.

I have read about caregivers here that have managed both TR and a full time job, Sienne has a bunch of useful info I’ve combed through. I just don’t know how I could make it work with Bell. Even if I could predict when she is about to drop low, I don’t know what I would do if I had to be in office for a meeting. When she snaps to the low greens, I’m basically feeding every hour/half hour to keep her up. I haven’t had luck with the medium or high carb food, and Bell’s not a reliable enough eater that I’d be confident she’d eat the stuff when I’m gone. I feel like I’d be gambling with her safety and I think the worry of that would really get to me…. Anyway, I know all you reading this already know and understand my situation, but writing it out helps me justify it to myself . Emotional rollercoaster today.

 

[Wendy&Neko]

I haven’t had luck with the medium or high carb food,

Time to mix up what your MC or HC foods are. What carbs % are you using now? Some cats just need higher carbs. I found out quickly that Neko was not one of those, and 16% worked well enough for. I've seen some that need over 20%. The not being a reliable eater is tough. Neko reliably polished off her meal in 30 seconds or less, then went looking for more. That was the excess growth hormone talking.

 

[bluesunshine]

Time to mix up what your MC or HC foods are. What carbs % are you using now? Some cats just need higher carbs. I found out quickly that Neko was not one of those, and 16% worked well enough for. I've seen some that need over 20%. The not being a reliable eater is tough. Neko reliably polished off her meal in 30 seconds or less, then went looking for more. That was the excess growth hormone talking.

The only wet food I’ve been able to get Bell to eat is the classic fancy feast pates, which are 2-3% carbs. When I initially transitioned her from dry to LC wet, I tried loadddddds of canned foods (I wanted her on something more healthy than the fancy feast all the time). No luck with any of them.

I haven’t made the same effort with higher carb wet food, so I’d be willing to try some more types. I just hate to experiment with higher carbs now when she is already way too high most of the time.

I should probably introduce a new food type by mixing into the fancy feast she already likes very slowly. I haven’t yet tried that

 

[Tim & Pookey]

Ahh shoot, I’m sorry Seth. Hopefully there is a resolution to come to, it sounds like your manager really values you. That would eat me up if I had to be in the office and leave the BG numbers to chance.

 

[Marielle]

This is where I am--working and leaving my buddy all day with hopes that he doesn't go low. I can only say that I sympathize with your situation, and hope that you and Bell (and Jude and I, as well) can find a way to navigate it safely. I've had cats that have suffered with many illnesses, but FD is the worst I've encountered in terms of needing cg oversight.

 

[bluesunshine]

Ahh shoot, I’m sorry Seth. Hopefully there is a resolution to come to, it sounds like your manager really values you. That would eat me up if I had to be in the office and leave the BG numbers to chance.

Thank you, Tim! He really does, and I feel bad leaving him with the mess of this coming year.

 

[bluesunshine]

This is where I am--working and leaving my buddy all day with hopes that he doesn't go low. I can only say that I sympathize with your situation, and hope that you and Bell (and Jude and I, as well) can find a way to navigate it safely. I've had cats that have suffered with many illnesses, but FD is the worst I've encountered in terms of needing cg oversight.

You're doing great with Jude! It is really tough managing all the different factors with FD. I feel all you folks are really the ones who understand how stressful it can be sometimes

 

[Nestle]

Hi Seth,

I'm sorry to hear about your job situation. I really hope you can resolve it somehow and it all works out in the end. You're taking such wonderful care of Bell.

 

[bluesunshine]

Thanks so much, Karolina.

I’m glad Nestle is so stable for you! His spreadsheet is my dream for Bell

 

[Staci & Ivy]

Hi Seth, I’m so sorry to hear your discussion didn’t end with a remote situation for your job.

You’re doing such an incredible job taking care of Bell and her many difficult situations.
I’m hoping something will work out with an even better solution for both of you.
Ivy and I send you lots of positive thoughts and good wishes!!

 

[bluesunshine]

I appreciate it Staci! Thinking through a lot of things right now, but I think all this might be for the best in the long run

 

[Heike & BInie]

Hi Seth, I am so sorry, that is a lot to digest. I send you lots of hugs. And as you described your team, it doesn't really makes sense to be in office anyway. Corporate life can be crazy...

Bell is so lucky, you found her in this shelter. She has been through a lot too. I'm sure, solutions come up. And who knows, maybe after some time you are somehow grateful for the changes you are doing now. Good to see Bell rewarded you with a green number today.